Never regular...

By: Kristi Hartman

I loved this picture when I saw it.  Isn't it so easy to go along in life, and blend in with the background, or even amongst the people we surround ourselves with?  

But how do we stand out?  How do we get to become bold or italic?

To me, a creative person is never regular.  They look at the world differently than other people, seeing the beauty in the surroundings when many other people may disagree. They ask questions, look at things and marvel, or wonder why things are the way they are.  
I think it's safe to say that writers are the epitome of creative people.  I mean, crafting a story out of thin air and getting it going from beginning to end is pretty darn creative if you ask me.  Creativitiy is not just creating artwork, making crafts, or making beautiful designs for your home.  Creativity is so much more than that.  In fact, the full definition of creative says:

cre·a·tive- :  marked by the ability or power to create :  given to creating<the creative impulse>

So to answer the questions above, we already are bold and italic!  We are striving every day to create and bring the world something with our talents.  Let's embrace our power and ability to create!

One last thought: 

Quote by: Joseph Pearce

Writing is such a creative gift, we can't worry about being wrong.

Why You’re So Attached to Facebook/ Your Phone/ Your iPad/ etc. (my story of technology addiction Part II)

A few months ago I wrote about my startling realization that I had a technology addiction. It was so sneaky, I hadn’t really realized how strong it was until I went cold turkey and the effect was jarring- but also freeing.

I recently heard a statistic that says that the average smartphone user checks their phone an average of 103 times per day. If you break that down and account for sleep, that’s about once every 10 minutes. So it sounds like I might not be the only one with a problem.

I’ve been continuing to struggle with urges, like any addict does, but along with the struggles have come insights which I would like to share with you today.

First, Why Do I Have a Technology Addiction? 

As I mentioned in my last post on the subject, I noticed that I had a tendency to reach for my laptop whenever the day-to-day hassles started to stress me out. Like any addiction, I was using technology to avoid a problem and fill a need. Just like smokers take a drag off a cigarette to calm their nerves and alcoholics turn to the bottle to numb their feelings for awhile, I was using the calming effect of my computer’s glowing screen to distract me from what was going on around me.

Why Does It Work? 

For me, it works because it is the opposite of the stresses I face and it is readily available. You see, I am an introvert.

I know, I know, that has become some kind of trendy thing to say and everyone is joining the hot new Introvert Club, but I really, truly am. It is difficult for me to be in situations where I have to be “on” and mommying is an “on” job if ever there was one. Combine that with the fact that I am a perfectionist and I am drained to the core by day’s end.

Every interaction with my children forces me to do several things:

1. Encounter their unpredictable words and actions.
2. Formulate an appropriate (or, in my mind, perfect) response to these words and actions.
3. Execute my response in an immediate and appropriate way.
4. Evaluate whether my response was correct based on their reactions.

Repeated about a hundred (probably more) times a day. It is draining. Combine that with the fact that  I tend toward claustrophobia and I frequently have children climbing all over me and it’s a miracle I don’t run screaming from my house every day. (Thank you, God, for making my kids so darn cute and awesome.)

In contrast, here is what my computer allows me to do:

1. Have complete control over what I experience.
2. Requires nothing from me and as I click from site to site it allows me to act impulsively without consequence.
3. Communicate with others at my own speed, allowing me to think carefully before typing, delete, retype, and not send until I feel confident with my message.

(Did you catch #2? “...allows me to act impulsively without consequence.” Um...can you say hello, Mr. Adversary? That should be throwing up some red flags right there!)

How Do I Know If I’m Addicted?

Elder M. Russell Ballard made a great statement that I now try to keep constantly in my mind whenever I use media. In this article about the talk he gave he was quoted talking about smartphones and said, "They need to be our servants, not our masters. For example, if later tonight you share inspiring thoughts from this devotional on social media, your smartphone is a servant. If you randomly surf the Internet, your smartphone is a master."

Is your technology your servant or your master? 

- Do you turn on the TV knowing exactly what you will be watching, and turn it off when you are through?

- Do you go online knowing exactly what you will be doing and close out your device when you have finished?

- Do you check your phone for messages and then promptly put it away?

Let me be clear- I love a good Pinterest-browsing session as much as anybody, but I also know that it should begin as a conscious decision and end at a set time.

Is your technology your servant or your master? Who decides what will occur when you pick up that phone/computer/tablet/remote?

I could go on and on about this, but if you’d like to think more about it, be sure to check out this article from the June 2014 Ensign, Media With Merit.

How do I break the habit?

Quite simply, go to the source. Find your triggers and eliminate them, if possible, and if not, then find alternative ways of coping with the stress without turning to old habits. 

It’s pretty obvious that I can’t eliminate my children from my life- nor would I want to- so instead I realized that I needed to find a way to fill that need for calm and introversion without the use of technology. So here are some things that work for me, things that I can do at a moment’s notice if I need to:

1. Music- (Okay, I know, technically this is still technology but it’s not an alienating form of technology, so I think it’s fine.) Just turning on some music in the house relaxes my brain and lifts my mood- and often, the mood of others in the house as well. I can sing along- maybe even dance a bit too- and my stress levels start to go down.

2. Work- Seems like this would stress me out more, but it doesn’t. Being productive gives me a sense of accomplishment, the kids can’t climb on me when I’m doing the dishes or vacuuming, the physical exertion releases those feel-good endorphins, and most times when my kids see work happening they’ll hightail it to another room. So I can actually be alone and think. :-)

3. Reading- Reading is awesome because hey, writers love to read, and for some reason it’s not as addictive for me as the internet. I feel more in control and it’s easier for me to put down a book and do something else than it is for me to close my computer.

4. Reading the Scriptures- This is something else that quickly elevates my mood by inviting the Holy Ghost, and I don’t ever have to worry that I’ll be so involved in it that I’ll neglect my family because the Spirit always reminds me of the joy in my calling as a mother and prompts me to return to them. :-)

5. Get Outside- You can combine this with work and go pull some weeds or even just go sit on the front porch. One night things were particularly hectic in my house and I could feel my stress levels rising, so I just walked out the front door and sat on the steps. The fresh air was cooler and much less stifling than inside and the quiet of the evening calmed my nerves. It wasn’t long before my 4-year-old clomped outside in her nightgown and snow boots and asked what I was doing, but I just replied, “Sitting.” She said, “Oh,” and sat down beside me. And started talking my ear off. :-)

6. Talk to Someone- I’ve realized that sometimes I just need a grownup conversation, one that doesn’t require me to solve somebody’s problem or understand kid language or lecture someone about something. So I pick up the phone and call my mom or my husband to remind me that I’m a person too.

Another important thing to remember when trying to overcome a technology addiction is to create some personal rules regarding your technology usage. Personally, I decided that I needed to be tech-free between the hours of 3pm and 8pm every day. This is my most stressful time of day (homework, dinner, bedtime) and I realized that when I am on the computer during this time (again, trying to alleviate the stress) I get much more irritated with my kids because I see them as a distraction. Instead, I utilize my alternatives and I do not turn the computer on until after the kids are in bed. If I’m waiting for them to get ready for bed and gather for our family prayer I either do some cleaning or I sit on the couch and read books with whoever is ready for bed.

Why Should I Ditch My Addiction?

In yet another great article from the June 2014 Ensign, Parenting Unplugged, the author talks about “beholding” our children and writes,

"For today’s parents, this kind of beholding often requires the discipline to unplug, a conscious choice to turn away from our screens and turn off our digital devices. It may mean resisting the temptation to check our text messages or scroll through social media posts. It may involve thoughtfully establishing personal and family media rules, setting boundaries that will protect the sacred time that we give to one another in our families daily.
By striving to more fully and more frequently behold our little ones, we will nourish our children’s sense of worth, enrich our relationships with one another, and enjoy more of those sacred moments when we see into the hearts of our children.” - Jan Pinborough, Church Magazines

Did you catch that? Family time is sacred. Sacred. We must protect it.

In my scripture reading the other day, I was reminded of one of the purposes of life:

"And now, my beloved son, notwithstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the kingdom of God.”- Moroni 9:6

We have a labor to perform! As parents, as human beings, I can guarantee you that labor has very little to do with Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest. It has so much more to do with that sacred family time, scripture study, missionary work, temple work, service, and the things that will bring us closer to that rest in the kingdom of God.

Okay, one last quotation for ya:

"And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.”- Mosiah 4:27

If you’re hooked, take it one step at a time. The internet and these devices are not evil, they’re just addictive, and finding a balance can be a tricky undertaking. Start each day with prayer and listen to that little voice in your head that says, “Time to put it away now.” As you follow those promptings and check back into your life, it will get easier.

Is this something that you struggle with? What suggestions do you have for dealing with a technology addiction?

Writing a Missionary

 By Nikki Wilson

My little brother just got back from a two year mission to the Billings, Montana mission. For the past two years, almost every Sunday, I would sit down and write him an email that he could read on Monday. That time spent writing each week meant so much to me. When I first started writing to him, I struggled with knowing what to write. So I suggested to him that we each share a scripture that described our week or that especially meant something to us that week.

We started doing that and it was amazing how the scriptures we shared with each other brought the spirit to both of our lives. I like to read my scriptures daily but by searching for a scripture that was just right for the week and taking the time to write about why it touched me, brought the spirit like never before. Soon my brother and I formed a bond through our letters that we didn't have before he left on his mission and the spirit was stronger in my life.

This sent home the difference between reading something and the act of writing about something. The light bulb went on in my mind about why we are urged to not only read the scriptures but write about what they mean to us in our journals. You would think with me loving to write and all that journal writing would be easy for me, but it's not. But writing a missionary motivates me a bit more and I feel it helps just as much.

Since my brother has been home and I am not writing him anymore, I've felt an emptiness in my life. Just small empty space, but one I want to fill none the less. So I have found another missionary to write. And I believe I will continue to write missionaries as long as I can because of what a blessing it is to my life and hopefully it blesses the missionary I write as well.

If you know of a missionary you can write, I urge you to try my theory. Not only will that missionary be so happy to get mail, your life will be blessed!

Magazine Articles 101--Generating Ideas

So, I got another rejection delivered hot and fresh to my inbox today. Sigh….only…. about 75 to go before I break ol’ Stephen King’s record.  Trying to keep it positive. For the record, these are different things I’m sending out that are being rejected, it’s not the same thing over and over. Glad we cleared that up.

This new adventure of magazine article writing is… well, it’s maddening and fun at the same time. I thought I would write a little about the process and what I am learning as I am chugging along. Today I am going to talk about generating ideas for articles.

Read the magazines! If you are going to write for a magazine, this is an important first step. You need to be familiar with the audience so that your article works for the tone, reader level, and point of view of the magazine. Many magazines have online articles you can read, or they send sample copies for free or cheap.

Do the Twist:  Look at newspapers and magazines and see if there’s a spin you can put on articles they are running. Maybe something local can be cultivated into a national story, or vice versa. I’ve seen articles that I’ve read online, suddenly pop up in the local news as, well, “news”—this ticks me off to no end, because these folks are supposedly journalists and are being paid to WRITE, not to troll the ‘net for stories. Do better than that. Find a twist--an angle--that makes your story unique. The upside to this method—you can capitalize on the buzz the topic is already generating. The downside—by the time you’ve read the story, thought up the angle, done the research, and written the story, the buzz may have fluttered away to some other trendy topic. It behooves you to either write quickly, or make sure your story idea has staying power and isn’t all buzz.

Let Us All Press On: You can glean information from press releases sent out by organizations, as well as reports from government websites. If you have an interest in anything, from PETA to child welfare issues, subscribe to the organizational newsletter and let the ideas find you.

Brainstorm. Literally sit and start coming up with whatever you think of. Let your mind wander (as long as your pen follows so you can scribble down topics or gibberish that may become topics). Often, getting everything in your head on paper can open the floodgates and suddenly you’re drowning in great ideas!

Idea Charts/Mind Mapping/Graphic Organizer:  This is the idea of visual aids to help your creativity. I won’t go into the specifics, but you can find resources here and here. The gist is that the visual aspect helps your brain to organize and channel its creativity. An added bonus is that often it will help you to organize and outline for the story while you are generating the idea.

Everywhere! Yup, I said it. You can get ideas from everywhere. The one place you CANNOT get ideas from is while banging your head on the keyboard because the ideas aren’t coming. Except for that one article idea I just got about the sharp increase in emergency room visits for laptop-key-from-forehead-ectomies among the author demographic. But really—the best way to get ideas is to get out there and chase them. I know in my own experience, I tend to wait for my muse to download ideas into my brain. This works often with the creative storytelling aspect of my writing. However, if I am to write articles as a business, I need to have a steady fountain of ideas to query to magazines, and this means that a part of my day, every day, needs to be idea generation.

I’m putting a couple of links below to some resources for idea generation. The internet is full of articles like this, but these were two that I really liked.

I want to hear from you:  what do YOU do to generate story/article/book ideas?

http://www.writing-world.com/basics/where.shtml

http://www.writersdigest.com/writing-articles/by-writing-goal/improve-my-writing/thou_shalt_steal

Are You a Writer?

By Nikki Wilson

One of the main comments I get when I tell people I'm a writer is this sentence: "I like to write, but I'm not a writer." I can't tell you how often I hear this. Too often. And it bugs me. Mostly because I used to make comments like that. I used to believe I wasn't a real writer unless I'd won awards or a publishing contract. But that's not true. Let me tell you a secret. I've been a writer since I was four years old! Yep! I'm that gifted. Would you like to see a letter I wrote to my grandma at the tender age of four? Here it is:

Yes, it's wonderful, I know. I actually remember writing this. I remember thinking that it looked like cursive and I took time to painstakingly write each "letter" very carefully. I even remember composing out loud what I thought I was writing. You may be wondering how this proves that I was a writer at age 4. Well it's easy. Even at that young age, I was in love with words and the idea of stringing letters together to make words, and stringing words together to make sentences. I loved writing, even if it made no sense to anyone else. I took pride in every stroke of my pen. I still love writing even though sometimes it probably doesn't make sense to anyone else but me. I still take pride in each word I put to paper. In fact, it makes me happy to write. This is what it takes to be a writer. You must love to write. That's it.

You may say there's more to it than that, and you're probably right. But if you love to write, and allow yourself to do so, everything else will come. Do you know how many authors have dislexia or learning disabilities, or the inability to spell? Me neither, but I'm guessing it's a lot. How many authors started out unable to grasp basic grammar rules, or unable to string together coherent sentences, or wrote stories that tell the reader what's happening but don't show the story? The truth is that most authors start out with those problems, in fact if you were to read a first draft of your favorite book, you would probably be shocked at the lack of writing skill. But they didn't let an awful first draft stop them. A writer is someone who writes despite their lack of knowledge. A writer is someone who writes because they can't stop words from coming into their head. A writer is someone who loves words.

If you like to write, you're a writer! If anyone questions you, just tell them Nikki said you are, so you are! So start stringing together letters, words, and sentences no matter how imperfect they are because you are a writer! So start writing!

What Every Girl Should Know about Her Mother: I Love Myself

by Katy White

Dear Baby Girl,

I have a secret to tell you. It’s a secret that most of the world would insist I have no right to have. Advertising executives would grit their teeth, the fashion industry would tell me I must be deluded, and too many women on the street would accuse me of vanity for this opinion. Yet I hold fast to it.

I absolutely adore myself.

I think I’m brilliant. I have never met a subject I can’t work hard enough at to learn. Perhaps I'm naturally clever (at least, it’s the family curse to assume so), but the smartest thing about me is that I’m not afraid to work relentlessly for the things I care about.

I think I’m beautiful. Even with the eyelashes of an albino, and especially because of my freckles. I wear makeup, not because I dislike myself, but because I enjoy enhancing what I already find so darn cute.  You and I both have stunning eyes, babe, and I love that about us. When our eyes locked for the first time, moments after you were born, you just kept staring into mine for what felt like days. I knew then that they must be even more beautiful than I thought.

I think I’m funny. It doesn’t matter if I say something I think is witty and get nothing but crickets in return. I like my sense of humor, and I positively love to laugh. In fact, I love to laugh more than I enjoy making others laugh, which is probably a good thing, just in case…

I love my hair. It’s thin and curly and sometimes wonky, with odd spots that twist the wrong way. No other hairstyle in the world suits me better…though, honestly, I’m not willing to try that many. I like my hair. It’s adorable. Why aim for someone else’s? Now hair color, on the other hand? Bring it on. I love myself with any color hair.

My body is a work of art. I can do the most incredible things. I can hold you for an entire loop around the zoo, even when you’re scrambling to break my grip and run around the gift shop. That’s real strength, cuz you are wiggly, kid. And I love my legs. You wouldn’t believe how much weight I can do on the calf-machine at the gym. It would embarrass most men to know, so I’ll keep it to myself (but it sounds a bit like shmee-hundred-and-shmorty). Beyond that, though, I have soft spots and curves that I think are positively lovely. Some people would disagree. They’d be wrong.

I’m a rad wife. Marriage is hard, baby girl. The world won’t ever let you forget that. But—and the world won’t ever let you remember this—it’s also the greatest thing in the entire universe. Our choices can make it so much harder…or easier. I consistently, maybe even daily, look for choices that will make marriage easier (your dad does this too, but that's a post for another day). Sometimes that means biting my tongue instead of saying the snarky comment that springs to my lips. Often that means letting something go, no matter how frequently that something impacts my life. Letting things go is a much better choice than saying something I may never be able to take back. A hand towel being used to wipe up a grease stain in the garage will never be worth more than your dad.

I am divine. I’m the daughter of God. My spirit is of heaven, and it is even more beautiful than I can imagine (and, as we’ve established, I’m a little bit obsessed with myself). My worth is endless, limitless, infinite, just like yours.

Oh, my brilliant, beautiful, funny, divine little girl, always remember that you are all this, and more. Never allow someone or something to convince you otherwise. You are the sun and moon and stars. And you know what? The women around you are, too. Never allow them to feel otherwise, and never make them feel otherwise. Just about the most beautiful thing a person can do in life is help someone else realize her own beauty, too.

So, be beautiful, girl. Love yourself. Just like your mom.

The Hierarchy of Authors

by Anna Jones Buttimore

There seems to be a strange pecking order for authors. Some command more respect and admiration, or are considered more talented, than others.

At my first meeting at the writing group I attend we had a talk by one of the members. Her first book had been picked up by an agent and a bidding war had followed between two major publishers. She chose Harper Collins and was offered an advance and a three-book deal. Wow. I was pretty star struck, I admit. I bought her books and they were indeed very good.

I'm a published author too, but I don't have an agent, I didn't get an advance and Harper Collins isn't my publisher. I took a different route and was published by a small publisher serving a niche market. So while that still makes me a traditionally published author, it's certainly a step down from the other author's level.

A few people in our writing group are self-published authors. I change my mind about self-publishing as often as I change my clothes, but what it boils down to is that they have published without the validation of an industry professional prepared to invest in their work. So maybe that puts them another rung down the ladder.

And below them are the aspiring authors who are still honing their craft or completing their first manuscript and haven't been published at all yet. Yet. They aspire to the lofty heights of those who cling precariously to the higher rungs.

It's very easy to be in awe of writers who have huge sales, rave reviews in national newspapers, or are backed by big names, but I like to think that the work itself should be what authors are judged on. Yes, a lot of self-published books are put out which are really poor quality, but we've all read books by big name authors and wondered why on earth some acquisitions editor or agent thought it was worth investing in. Who hasn't read a book and thought, "I can do better than this"? And there are many self-published books, or books put out by small presses, which are extraordinarily good.

If we're going to position authors on a ladder according to how highly we esteem them, then we shouldn't judge on their publishing deal, the number of books they have put out, their route to publication or even how many copies they have sold. We should admire them because we have loved their books, and recognise their talent and the work they put in.

How PT is like Writing

Recently I was minding my own business and walkin' down the stairs in my own home and fell.... yes I fell down the stairs. Over the next couple days and weeks I felt terrible and the doctor sent me over to physical therapy. Where I was told that my fall down the stairs caused whiplash in my neck. So the best ever Face Book post would be ... "you know your old when you fall down the stairs and give yourself whiplash" Ha! right. While I was at PT I was thinkin' about how I needed to write a post and I started thinkin' that PT is like writing. We have this pain (you know the voices in your head) that we just want to get rid of. We want to get it all out there so that we can go back to life or publish again or move on to the next project. But like PT it takes work and time. We can't always get everything out and perfect in a few days or even the first time. Writing takes work! It takes time, typing skills... you know so you can type or write as fast as the stuff is coming into the brain. It takes research, lots of research and rewriting. It sometimes takes others helping you, like a friend reading it and givin' their impressions and edits. And then it sometimes takes rewriting again! So as y'all sit sometimes in frustration remember that writing takes time, it doesn't come all at once and sometimes we need help from others (like friends and family) to encourage, to give us space, and to give us tools that will make us better. Take your time ... write and rewrite when you can. Get yourself the tools you need to write and tell your stories. Don't get down on yourself if you think its not going as fast as someone else or as fast as you want it to. You are you and your stories are your own and they will come out in time as you work!

True Changes

First, for those who noticed, I want to apologize... I had to take a short hiatus.  Life has been a bit rough for me the past month or two.  It gets that way, and I'm sure you all know this.  My dear, dear friend Kasey has picked up a bit of the slack for me.  She's so amazing.  I believe this makes me a guest poster!

I've recently started a new job, and part of that job has come with a lot of new reading.  It's not a requirement of any kind, but it has been emphasized to me that what I read/listen to and who I spend time with are two of the biggest influences as to how successful I will be.  This is true for life, not just for a job. This is why I have spent so much time not only on books, but in sharing the thoughts and wisdom that I have been learning with anyone that will listen.  I try to share them on Facebook when possible because I know it's a good way to reach many people that I know.

The changes that I have noticed through my efforts in focusing on these two things are astounding!!  I find that when I plug into one of my audio books as I am about to go work in the yard, I have incredible stay power as I do mundane or physically intense work!  I love it!  My mind has now started shifting from fighting off depressive thoughts when things get rough, to thoughts and ideas on how to endure the trials or how to rise above them!  I am happier more, and when I sit down to work it's not so much of an effort.  This is significant for me, because I have struggled since I was a teenager with an intense anxiety disorder.  I find now that I am not stressed as often, because my thinking is starting to change.  When I talk to people, answers and unknown wisdom comes to my mind to share.  The future doesn't feel as scary... it has really been a huge change!

I guess it just amazes me the power of the written word.  I know that we're all hoping that our words can change or affect others in the powerful ways that we hope.  I know that we can.  It is all within our reach, as long as we continue to keep learning and be smart about how to apply that wisdom.

One of my good friends, Clifford Davis, has written a children's book and I had the privilege of receiving a copy of it.  It is a beautiful, sweet and entertaining book.  He's going to be doing a signing with a few other authors locally here in North Chesterfield, VA, for those who live nearby;

 I am inspired by those of my friends who have taken such a passion to writing, and have gotten themselves and their work out there.  Kasey's books also come to mind.  This is a perfect example of those that I choose to surround myself with.  It's just as important to surround yourself with people that will support you and encourage you!  It's not always easy cutting out the negative influences in your life, but it is critical.  And on the other side, make sure that you are supporting and uplifting those around YOU so that you aren't one of the ones that someone needs to cut out of their life.  I am going to list a few books that I have been reading lately.  (yes I am very into self-help literature)  These books are incredible reads, and are full of wisdom!  I hope everyone has a wonderful week, and happy reading!!

The Go-Giver - by Bob Burg and John David Mann

Take the Stairs - by Rory Vaden

No Excuses! - by Brian Tracy 

Awaken the Giant Within - by Anthony Robbins

(I highly recommend the audibles... it just goes deeper when you hear them say it!)

Farewell

This will be our final post on MMW.  We have decided that it is time for us to step down from our Sunday position.  We want to thank each and every one of you that makes up this amazing writing community.  We are so grateful that we've been able to share in this blog.  We have learned so much in our time here.  Writing for MMW has helped to shape us as writers and forced us to stretch beyond what we could have done on our own.  We want to thank Nikki for giving us this opportunity, and a big thank you to former MMW writer Amber Lynae for introducing us to MMW.
Thank you, again, for letting us be a part of your lives and a part of this amazing community.