The Apple Tree

by Jewel Leann Williams

A couple of weeks ago I saw a video that was shared on Facebook that talked about apple trees, and creativity, and becoming who we were meant to be. I watched it and moved on, but some of the thoughts stayed with me. They percolated for a while, and then in a panic I realized that this was what I wanted to write about--and I couldn't find the video!!

After a plea for help on the Facebook and thankfully a friend who figured out what I was looking for, and I got to watch the video again.  I will link to it after this article.

So what of the apple tree?

If we look at an apple tree, we notice that it doesn't care how many apples it sells. It doesn't worry if people like the apples or not. It just does what it's supposed to do, which is produce apples.  If you see an apple tree that isn't giving apples, it is probably a sick tree, and we know there is something wrong and try to help it to return to its purpose.

The takeaway for us, as writers, is that often we get so caught up in whether people will like what we've written, or buy what  we've written, that we destroy our own creativity.  We stop writing because "no one likes what I write" or "I can't get an agent on anything I've done," or whatever reason.

But are you an apple tree? Were you born to put words out there into the world, to uplift, inspire, bring light? I affirm to you that you were. Our Father in Heaven gave you the talent and  the urge to write for a reason.

So what if you don't?

Another quote  paraphrase from this video:

We stress because we're not giving our gift that we are naturally here to give, and all day long we hear that gift inside us, whispering for us to do that thing we were born to do. 

That's the apples in us, trying to make their way up through the xylem and phloem, the trunk, the branches, the twigs, to flower and bud. Sometimes we don't feed the tree, don't give it any sunlight, and we become sick. Stressed about not writing, depressed about not creating, blocked and bitter because we say things like, "I used to be a writer, but I don't write anymore."

In a more scriptural analogy, it's because we know full well that the Master will not be happy when he sees that we've taken our talent and judged that it's not what others were given, not as shiny or as big, and we've buried it in the ground for fear.

That voice says, "Do this one thing" but we're scared, because we only see the loss of what we could give up, not the infinite possibilities that lay beyond that one leap. (More paraphrasing there)

Look what I found from Elder Russell M. Nelson!

From LDS.net

Can I ask you (and myself more than any) to BE the apple tree? You already are placed here for a purpose, and just like an apple tree, you can nourish your purpose and give it lots of sun, shape it and strengthen it, and fulfill that purpose. Fear is the enemy as much as frost in winter (for those of us from Arizona, that's like the 3 cold nights where we put sheets on our plants).

This one is a direct quote:

There is a power in you that has been calling to you since day one, and today could actually be the day that you listen.  

How can you "access your apple tree?"

A Year with MMW

by Mare Ball from Adventures in the Ballpark

I recently passed my one year anniversary writing for Mormon Mommy Writers.  On February 22, 2013, my first post appeared here: NEW KID ON THE BLOCK.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to show up here twice a month and share my heart.  I'm grateful for all comments and the insights of other contributors here.  It was through MMW that I was first published (as a contributor to Choose to Write), for which I will be forever grateful.

Since I came on board here, I've taken a marketing course, mostly finished my WIP, written a book proposal, and am in communication with two editors.  I have written posts for two other blogs.  If I had not been invited to be a regular part of MMW, I'm sure I would not have made such progress in my writing career.  Even though, at times, I'm rushed or dragging my feet on what to write, it's been very beneficial to have a writing deadline and commitment.  Thank you, MMW gals, and especially Nikki Wilson for investing in me.  

As I looked over my previous posts, I decided this was my favorite: WRITING IS LIKE MOTHERHOOD.  Considering the name of this blog, it seems fitting.  I wanted to share it again, because I didn't know how else to commemorate my time here.  I wanted to share my love for motherhood and writing, and this post does that.  If you've read it, feel free to click to Facebook.  I won't be offended.

What I've learned this year is to keep plugging away.  Writing is a marathon, not a sprint.  We never know whose heart we might touch, whose life we might improve because of something we crafted.

If you love to write, God has placed that in your makeup.  If we honor Him in our efforts, I believe we will win.  Success might not look like our original vision, but I'm learning that's part of the journey.  

   

Writing vs. Storytelling

Once upon a time, like all the way back in 2011, I read a book. The buzz surrounding this book was deafening; there was virtually nothing else talked about on book blogs for several weeks prior to this book's release. I had been on the waiting list through the library for weeks and was ecstatic when my turn came. 

The book was awful. 

Oh, the prose was pretty. Beautiful sentences, evocative paragraphs, sigh-inducing lines. 

But the story was crap. Characters were one dimensional. The plot was flimsier than fancy tissues and more cliche than a Meg Ryan rom-com. Continuity problems abounded - I flagged thirty-nine of them in the two-hundred-ish page book. Physical impossibilities, scientific improbabilities, and flat-out stupidity marred the pages of this book, which happened to be the first book in a series that would go on to be wildly popular. 

On top of all that, the cover was a metaphor so heavy-handed, I'm surprised I could even lift the thing up. 

Lots of other people loved the book, willing to forgive all the problems (which they agreed existed) because of the pretty words. 

I decided to give her another chance; when her next series came out, I read the first book in that series. I felt it was marginally better, but still fell flat. Flat characters. Dumb story. Bad science (in a science fiction book!). 

Contrast that with my very favorite series, which is written ... simply. Yes. Let's use the word "simply". The writer breaks a lot of popular writing rules and many "real" artists claim this author is terrible.

Oh, sure, they agree the story is good. The characters are interesting and well-developed. The plot is tight and intriguing. The red herrings work, the twists are surprising. They laughed, they cried, but it just isn't. good. writing. 

And here's the conclusion I've come to: 

I prefer good storytelling over good writing. 

Let me say that again, lest your eyes deceive you: 

I PREFER GOOD STORYTELLING OVER GOOD WRITING. 

Now, to be clear, the writing needs to be passable. Correct spelling, reasonable usage of punctuation, all the words are used correctly, and all that jazz. But when it comes right down to it, I prefer a good story over something that might technically be more perfect in terms of craft. 

So this is now my aim. I want to tell a good story. I'll do my best to get the technical stuff right in all the ways that matter most, but story beats craft. 

What say you? 

 

Further Along the Journey

by Mare Ball Adventures in the Ballpark

The writing world is all a-twitter about NaNoWriMo, which starts today.  A writing frenzy has commenced, and hopefully, by November 30, writers will have a novel written.  Maybe a sloppy, typo-laden novel, but a good foundation and a complete idea to tighten and polish later.

I love this idea.  I'm writing non-fiction, so my month of writing frenzy is called NaNonFiWriMo.  Doesn't quite roll off the tongue like NaNoWriMo, but the spirit is in there.   I've actually been working on my book since September, but I'm hoping to finish it by November 30.  I think I can, I hope I can!  Writing a book really is like birthing a baby.  You get so weary of the labor, and when you think you might be done....nope, there's one more big push.

I enjoyed Kasey's recent post on the writing conference she attended.  She was a smart cookie to take business cards and her pitch for her book.  She came back fired up to finish her WIP.  Writing conferences are great, because you can talk to other writers who have also been holed up in a corner somewhere making their dream come alive.  You realize you are not the only one who works in your PJs some days and eats M&Ms for dinner.  

I've mentioned a few times I'm taking an author's marketing course.  My last class is Monday, and I've found it so helpful.  I also recently plugged into a seminar by Jack Canfield (author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books.)  Marketing your book is a whole other field of study.  Writing the book is 10%.  Marketing is 90%.  Ouch.

Here are a few things I've learned:

1.   Jack Canfield's book proposal was rejected 144 times before he found a publisher.  I need to develop a thicker skin.
2.   Know your target market.  Who are you writing to?  Research titles that are similar.  Know your competition.
3.   Build a platform pre-publication.  This is where blogging is helpful.
4.   You need a promotion plan.  (A what? I said.  Then, I learned.)  What are you willing to do to sell your book?
5.  Publishers are looking for writers who will also be good business partners.  Publishing is a business. 
6.  To get published, you must be committed to it.  No matter what.   
7.  Once you have a publisher, be prepared to write your book again.  And maybe again.

If you're still with me....bravo.  I had a few bubbles burst during this marketing course.  I just wasn't being realistic about the publishing process.   But, the blinders are off now, and I'm hoping I can navigate the publication maze.

For anyone interested in the online/teleseminar/marketing course I took called Author's Training 101, you can find information here: NINA AMIR.

Nina offers all kinds of services to writers.  She's smart and quick to tell you the truth, which I appreciate.  Her class was an eye-opener.  I'm getting no kick-back for promoting her; I just wanted to share.  In fact, she doesn't even know I'm doing this. 

Here's to inspired writing for all who are going to have their bums glued to the chair this month! 

First Drafts and Baby Feeding: An Unexpected Correlation

by Katy White

Due to a slight obsession with cleanliness (not necessarily order), I have a one-year old who gets her face and hands wiped between far too many bites.  I know, I know.  All you seasoned moms are probably laughing at me or rolling your eyes.  And I get it.  But I justify my actions because, well, I hate having to do huge cleanup when I can do a bunch of little cleanups along the way (this is the same reason I use daily shower spray).  I also justify my constant child-cleaning by referring you all to my child's enormous amount of hair.

Baby Girl at seven months  

Seriously, children shouldn't have this much hair until they can realize that avocado-hands should not be run through such luxurious locks.  But I digress.

Sort of.

I love editing.  I love grammar.  I love seeing the flow of sentences and paragraphs shape themselves into a cohesive whole.  I love thinking of the perfect word, the most poignant phrasing to convey a thought, to evoke a response. I love this all so much, I tend to allow my inner editor to run rampant on a first draft before there even is a first draft.  You seasoned drafters are probably laughing at me or rolling your eyes.  And I get it.  But I justify my actions because, well, I like doing it so darn much.  I also justify myself by saying that this tendency served me quite well in high school and college.

The only problem is, I feel like my first draft, like Baby Girl, is getting the short end of the stick.  Poor Baby Girl is missing out on the opportunity to experience meal times like a, well, baby.  She's missing out on figuring out how to use a spoon herself, on figuring out what it feels like when you accidentally miss your mouth and smear your food on your cheek.  Or nose.  And I'm missing out on being surprised by how quickly she learns and seeing how much she enjoys the feel of food squelching through her chubby little fingers.  Who wants to miss out on that?

Similarly, my first draft is missing out on the opportunity to be a first draft.  It's missing out on figuring out what it wants to be when it grows up because I'm trying to force perfection out of characters and scenes and pages that would (and should) otherwise get the axe.  And I'm missing out.  I'm missing out on the experience of just letting thoughts fall out of my head to land on the page where they may.  Heck, I'm missing out on getting to my second draft because I'm spending so much time on the daggum first draft that I can hardly see the story for the page.

But not anymore.  I'm committing right now to letting my baby be a baby, darn it, and to letting my first draft be a work of utter, total rubbish.  My baby deserves to grow up knowing how much fun it can be to make a mess.  And my first draft deserves to have fun being a mess so it can finally (hopefully) grow up.

Starting...now.

What about you?  Have you evolved as a mom?  As a writer?  Any surprising correlations?

Double Oops!

Anna, looks like you're in good company.  With it being spring break, kids and hubby off school, my days of the week have been slightly scrambled.  Apparently it's Thursday today (instead of tomorrow, as I spent a majority of the day believing).

So I'll leave you with an interesting thought on writing, that I found reading the following article.  This is what the author, Daphne Gray-Grant had to say about the concept that "...writing is talking on paper."

Imagine sitting in a coffee shop and chatting with a good friend. Do you stumble for words? Do you struggle to express yourself? Of course not! Now picture yourself standing in front of a room of 500 people without any notes. Can you talk easily now? Probably not—even if your subject is something with which you're very familiar. What's the difference? It's perception.

 

With a friend, you are relaxed. In front of an audience, you're worried about being judged.

And that's the problem when we write. We imagine people judging us. We worry about making mistakes. About being boring. About not succeeding.

I'll see you next week.  Hopefully, with my days all straightened out...

Saturday So What: Why can't I be you?

In case you haven't noticed, my writing style is very conversational and mass market.  I don't have a literary hair on my head. Or on my legs for that matter.

But I long to write the flowing lovely sentiments and imagery that a friend of mine does. Her writing is stunning and deep and ...ugh... and I can't even come up with the right words here. When I had the opportunity recently to write a personal essay about a lesson I had learned from one of my kiddos, I saw it as a chance to strut my serious side. I was gonna make the reader cry, darn'it. I poured over my words, spending hours to find just the right line. For example, "inflicting my pain on the cold and unyielding earth". Yeah, you can probably guess how well it was received in my writer's group.

The central conceit behind my essay was just fine, but the flow was stilted and I was leading my reader to the emotion by the nose. All in an attempt to write like this other girl. Flash forward to me attempt  a few weeks later. I had an idea, it took me 45 minutes to write the 1200 word essay, and I just let the words flow out in my natural narrative voice. This time it was well received. I have a few chuckles and few tears without searching for the flowery or "ensign" words to insert. Just me.

So here's the lesson I took away from this exercise.  I may love the operatic sopranos, but I am firmly an alto. And if I tried to squeak out Ave Maria, everyone would cover their ears. But I can sing something lovely in my own register, something uniquely me. Same goes with writing. As an author, I have to stick with my own voice. I can appreciate and admire yours, but if I try to emulate it, everyone will cover their eyes.

So whether you write fiction or non, romance or YA, revel and celebrate your own unique style. Don't try to be Dickens, or Rowling, or Twilight. It will always be a pale imitation. Instead shine and create a new original  that others will long to be.



Come visit Smashing Stories for another excerpt from Finished being Fat. "Ghosts of Fat Past"
Don't forget... less than a week to get your contest entries in!!

Saturday So What: Pioneer Day Pancakes

 My husband is diabetic with horrible heart burn. One of my good friends, Caleb Warnock, has been pestering me to start cooking with natural pioneer yeast. He claims this stuff will dramatically help my husband's health if I start cooking with it. To quote him, Natural yeast flattens the glycemic index, takes away heartburn and acid reflux forever, helps prevent or reverse gluten intolerance and, in some cases, full-blown Celiac’s disease, turns natural phytic acid into an anti-oxidant, controls allergies, and turns flour into a yeast that is both pre-biotic and pro-biotic. Natural yeast is amazingly healthful and free  That sounds like a really tall order, but his research seemed sound and he's got a book all about it coming out in a few weeks, 
The Art of Baking with Natural Yeast: Breads, Pancakes, Waffles, Cinnamon Rolls and Muffins 



One problem though... I don't cook.

In honor of pioneer day, I decided to give it a try. I already had some yeast start Caleb had given me. He gives the stuff away to anyone that emails him. I had his recipe. I had a picture of the end result. I've even taken a bite of one of his waffles, the same thing basically. We had the exact same ingredients and preparation, but mine ended up looking something like hockey pucks. The taste wasn't a whole lot better.

I had all the basic elements correct, but somehow I missed in the execution. The same thing can happen in writing. We can have the best concept, lovable and engaging characters and a plot to die for. But if there's something amiss in the execution, the story can leave a bad taste in our mouths. So should you toss the story and your whole writing career in the trash along with my burnt pancakes?

No.

Both the natural yeast and the writing have big pay offs and are worth the work to hammer out the kinks. Though this particular batch of pancakes wasn't salvageable, your story might still be. Let those solid characters sit for a while and let yourself get some distance and grow as a writer before you tackle it again. If your story recipe is good, it's worth it to try cooking it up again.

If we can learn anything from the pioneers it's that the journey can be tough and push us to our limits, but the end is worth the work, blood, sweat, and tears. Where would a lot of us be if the pioneers had decided it was easier to stay home?

Thanks for reading everyone and keep writing.
If you are interested in learning more about natural yeast, you can hop over to Caleb's blog.

If you want more from me, you can visit this week's posts Heaven's to Betsy! Game of Life and the Definition of Failure.

Stalling Out

So I'm going to level with you:  I'm in a funk.  I've essentially stalled out of first gear at a busy intersection trying to turn left into oncoming traffic.


Okay, so maybe it's not that bad - I was trying to elicit an emotional connection that you may be familiar with - if you've ever had that experience, you understand just how quickly you can become panic stricken and freeze.  When you try and find first gear in a car your not totally confident driving and you wonder what you're doing behind the wheel.

That's the same feeling I'm having about my writing.  Because I look at things I have written in the past, and think two things.

1. What was I thinking?  I wrote that?  That's terrible!  I'm so glad I didn't show it to very many people...

2. The panic that causes the 'figurative' stall - when I wrote that, I thought it was good!

I was having a conversation about this with my very talented critique partner (who also happens to be my sister-in-law) Stephanie Humphreys, and she gave me, as usual, some very good advice.

(Now forgive me, I'm ad-libbing from memory here.)  She said, "Everybody looks back on earlier work and sees it as weaker.  It's what proves that we are growing as writers.  If it was the same as our current writing, we haven't progressed."

I was so grateful for that advice.  Grateful enough that I felt my emotional muse restart the car and shift from first to second gear.

Growing is good.  It's okay if the things I write don't come out perfect the first time.  I learned to drive a manual car in a parking lot without any obstacles, because that's how you learn a skill like that.  And you stall, and rev and make embarrassing mistakes, even at busy intersections.  That's learning to drive.

Why should writing be any different?

Say It With Me: I Am A Writer

I attended a class at the 2007 LDS Storymakers Conference presented by Tristi Pinkston.  I can't recall the name of the class, or the synopsis of the material it covered, but I will never forget the experience of that one hour with Tristi, because it held for me the 'wow' factor of that event.  You know - the one opportunity you walk away from saying, "Wow - if nothing else had gone right, that moment made this whole experience worthwhile."

I remember Tristi reflecting on the pull we feel to writing, and tying it to our eternal nature.  She suggested something I'd never really considered before: that we were probably writing long before we came to Earth; that we were developing these interests and talents as we prepared for mortality.  Quite possibly we sat in on lessons with Shakespeare.  Perhaps we listened to a panel by Austen and Dickens. 

The point, speculation aside, is that life is just a step in our eternal progression.  We didn't just pop into existence and decide to string words into stories.

When she made that point, I felt an instant connection to the idea.  Yes.  I was a writer before I was born.  More importantly, I am a writer now.

Sometimes I think we forget or undermine the importance of that little idea. We think, "I'm not a writer because I'm not published," or "I'm not a writer, because I'm still learning.   Yesterday, my six-year-old daughter reinforced the concept.

She announced she was going to write a book, demanded some paper and disappeared for almost half-an-hour.  When she returned, she handed me a fully illustrated short story anecdote of her experience with the chicken pox this past spring.

I read it aloud, gave her a hug and said, "Sweetie, you're a writer!"

She gave me one of those 'teenage' looks and said, "Yes mom, I know."

From this experience I learned some very important lessons:

1. If you want to write a story, sit down and do it.  She had an idea, took the initiative and finished the project.
2. If you believe you are a writer, you are a writer.  Nobody else's criteria, accomplishments or understanding matters.  More importantly, if you are writing, you are a writer.

So say it with me:  "I am a writer."

Now close your browser and get to work.  (But don't forget to stop by tomorrow for the next great MMW post!)

It Will Make More Sense

My husband and I were introduced to a new game at a friend's house Sunday night.  It's a card game called 'Killer Bunnies' that we'd seen before, and being avid 'board' gamers (or card games in this case), we had seen it in the store and wondered if it would be fun.

Our friends pulled out the important cards and took ten minutes to explain the somewhat straight forward/ somewhat complicated rules and card purposes.  Then the uttered the phrase that I think gets said just about every time you teach/learn/see a new game.

"It will make more sense as you play."

I've said it before, I've heard it before, and it's completely true.

Sometimes no matter how clear and thorough you try to be with an explanation, the best way to learn a new game is to play it.

I can't help but feel it's true to writing as well.  We can and should read and research and learn the somewhat straight forward/ somewhat complicated rules grammar and pathway to publication.  But it isn't until we actually sit down and right that all the pieces come together, skill and talent merging, to allow the task of writing to make sense.

And if you're looking for a fun new game, I recommend Killer Bunnies.

Writing on the Road

I'm writing this the day I should be on the road to a family visit for the holidays, but an unexpected ear infection (though it shouldn't be...my 4 year old has one at least once a year) flared last night as we were preparing to leave for a 10 hour drive. So instead of leaving home at 4 am, I was consoling my son and waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in. And for morning so I could take him to the doctor.
We're leaving Tuesday now, but that gives me a chance to post. My question to you is this: do you write everywhere you go? I am going on a trip that involves lots of driving and hanging out. I've tucked a notebook into my things so I can write if the whim takes me. Does anyone else do that? I don't want to be rude to anyone, and sometimes writing feels rude, it's so solitary and internal. But I've put it off long enough, having been overwhelmed by the activities of the past couple of months. And I'm feeling it, that lack of creativity in my life. I don't know that I can stand it much longer before I'll have to crawl back into my writing hole.
So what are your writing-during-the-holiday plans? Do you plan on just waiting for the end of the break and then take it back up like a New Year's resolution? Or do you need to write everyday, and do it religiously regardless of the time of year? Or something in between?

Where I Explain How Sewing is Like Writing...and How it's Not

by Cheri Chesley

This week is the only week I've had a chance to work on the dolls I wanted to make for my girls for Christmas. So, EVERYTHING else has been put on hold. I mean, literally. Last night we had canned food for dinner. Even though I have to put the project away before they come home, it takes so much out of me that I'm basically exhausted for the rest of the night.

I think, as writers, we all have or have had a project that consumes us. A friend of mine has been writing a book secretly and it has her so sucked in she doesn't even take food breaks. She's almost done, writing at that feverish pace.

Sewing these dolls has taught me about writing. Because I basically liken everything else in my life to my writing aspirations.

One--there is a pattern, and it's most helpful to stick to it.

Two--there will be times when you will likely feel in over your head, and definitely feel out of your depth. You may even HATE the project while working on it.

Three--You will make mistakes, and you will not be able to gloss over them. You will have to fix them. **Case in point, sewing the legs on backward. Even though they were double stitched and involved an impossible contortionistic maneuver to even sew in the first place, you will HAVE to fix that or the baby's rear end will be where the belly should be, and it looks so wrong.

Now, here's where writing and sewing differ:

One--With sewing, you should fix the problems as you come across them. You don't want to finish the project in a "first draft" phase just to take it apart and fix it later. **Case in point, I was NOT about to stuff those dolls and then try to fix the backward legs.

Two--Patterns are great for sewing. Structure is essential for writing. I can't follow the pattern of Harry Potter or Twilight in my writing and expect that level of success. With sewing, the pattern they give me in the package will only help me if I use it.

Three--It's a sewing machine, for crying out loud, not a keyboard. The sewing machine will likely give you more impulses to curse than the keyboard. Maybe. **Case in point, when I sit down to my keyboard and type, words show up on the screen. When I sit down at the sewing machine to sew, sometimes there was as much backtracking as progress. Ugh. And I won't tell you how many times the stupid fabric snagged.

Finally, I will close with this similarity: both sewing dolls for my daughters and writing books are labors of love. And, oddly, I am experiencing a similar issue with handing my girls their dolls that I have when I send my books out into the world. They won't always treat them with care. They won't look after them or appreciate them as much as I would hope. I know not everyone who reads one of my books is going to love it. I'm just hoping, considering how much of my own near literal blood went into these dolls, my girls will at least appreciate the sentiment.

Insecurity and the Writer

Now I don't know about you, but I could totally relate. Insecurity is the BFF of the artist. We drain something from our souls, sometimes drip by agonizing drip, then throw it to the world, praying that someone will appreciate it.

I know this video is completely staged, but the truth in it shouts like Sue Sylvester with a bullhorn. Artist of any kind, whether they be writers, painters, or actors, all want the subjective public to like them, to see their work and say YES!

I want to add something, though. The other day, inspired by Lisa's post, I pulled out my iPod and started reading. I felt inspired to look in the Doctrine and Covenants. And I read this:

1 Now behold, a marvelous work is about to come forth among the children of men.

2 Therefore, O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day.
3 Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work;
4 For behold the field is white already to harvest; and lo, he that thrusteth in his sickle with his might, the same layeth up in store that he perisheth not, but bringeth salvation to his soul;
5 And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work.
6 Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence.
7 Ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Amen.

I couldn't help but draw parallels to my writing. I do feel called to this work. I know that I need to do this, that the Lord has given me this as a calling for my life. How can I do anything but step forward?

For me, verse 6 stood out as the perfect blueprint: having faith in the Lord and his gifts right at the beginning, and being virtuous in following the commandments and staying close to the Lord through prayer and scripture study.
Then knowledge, or doing the research for my books and learning all I can about the writing craft, but remembering temperance, that I cannot run faster than I have strength and there must be moderation in all things.
I need to have patience with myself, with the process, with publishing, as well as showing kindness to all that I come in contact with during this journey.
In godliness, I need to remember that I am an example, a light on a hill. What I write represents not only me, but the God I profess to follow.
Charity, or giving of myself through this work is the only way to find myself-- "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." Matthew 10:39
Along with that I need to remember not to boast of myself, but of my God who has given me these gifts to serve Him.
And last, but certainly not least, I must be diligent. I must work. I must write. I must DO. I cannot follow all these other things and not DO the work.

But what does he promise in verse 7? "Ask, and he shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." So I have no need to fear or feed the insecurities of the natural man, for this, ALL this, is in the Lord's perfect hands.

My First Ever Writing Retreat

This past week I had the fabulous opportunity to go to a writer's retreat hosted by ANWA. 30 women in a gorgeous cabin for 3 days of writing and sisterhood.

For me this was a huge step in admitting that I'm taking this writing thing seriously. I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels like if you're spending money on something, especially money on myself, it had better be worth it. And frankly, I wasn't sure if I was worth the nominal fee to participate. I've struggled so much with my writing lately, with little confidence that my writing was worth the effort and time away from my family. And I've never finished anything of real substance. Maybe part of this writing experience has been figuring out who I was as a writer, that as much as I'd like to be a pantser and not have to go through the "work" of writing an outline (even a loose one), I'm too much of a navigator. I need to have a road map, even a vague one. I've also realized that I've let my internal editor run rampant, instead of keeping her in her place for the end of the work. I take so long to finish something (and get discouraged and quit) because I'm so afraid to break the rules. And by the rules I mean things like not using adverbs or passive voice or purple prose. I try so hard to make the first draft be perfect, I get frustrated when I have to rewrite it because it suddenly doesn't fit in anymore.

So now, after my writing confessions, for me to go to this retreat was a real step forward. I had to commit to hours of writing because I had no excuses to NOT write anymore in a place where all my needs were met and I had no one to care for but myself.

I had to learn to let go. To write and write and write and not let my editor say much of anything. It took a while. She's used to being in charge, that editor. So by the end of the retreat I was writing pure dreck, telling and adverbing all over the place. BUT...............the words were on the page, to be massaged and edited later. And not being afraid of writing the garbage, because I have no problem editing the yuckiness out. It's only when I think it's already perfect that I resist the idea that I need to edit. But if it's already gross...eh. Who cares if I have to edit? And I can do that later, at my leisure. I don't have to do two jobs at once, writing and editing. It's like driving and talking on the phone at the same time. We think we can do two different things, but we can't focus completely on either one, and end up doing both jobs poorly.

In the end I was able to write thirty pages, a BOATLOAD for me. It was great. And it's garbage. But it's MY garbage, and it's on my PAGE instead of floating in the ether in my head. And that is something to celebrate, a small victory that makes me think that there is hope at the end of this writing tunnel.

So When Do You Know You Know?

I've been at this writing thing for a while now, not that I've published anything yet. (That's another blog.)
But I remember that when I started seriously, this writing thing seemed hidden behind an impenetrable wall of rules, a million do's and don'ts. And to be honest, I know that I'll never really know it all, and if I do, writing would become a very boring "job" indeed.

But last night my 15 year old asked me a question about writing, about how to organize the writing within the chapter, and what kind questions to ask to guide the story along the right path.

And as I talked with her, I realized that even though I thought that because I haven't published yet, and thought I hadn't learned enough, I had learned enough to explain those rules to my daughter.

It gave me a confidence to realized that the obstacles I face right now are of two kinds: those of my own making, like not finishing novels, or ones I have no control over, like what agents or publishers think of my work.

So when do you know that you know enough? That you you're to the point that it's just your personal bugaboos that you have to overcome?

This is Not a Title

by Cheri Chesley

That's probably the extent of my joke-pulling for the day: announcing my title as not being one. Seriously, I'm not a huge fan of April Fools. I'd prefer to treat it like any other day. That, unfortunately, makes me a prime target. :)

Late last night, as I'd finished watching my movies and was ready to go to bed, I checked my emails one last time. I'd been contacted on Goodreads by a young woman who wants to interview me for an English assignment. Her message bubbled with enthusiasm, and she said I was "one of" her favorite authors and that she can't wait for the sequel to my first book. Thrilled, and humbled, I texted my hubby, announced it on my FB author page, and went to bed.

Then I started thinking. Is this a prank? Some people would love to "get" a poor, unsuspecting first-published author with something like this. After cutting my panic attack off at the pass, I decided the absolute worst case scenario is still livable: If this is someone's idea of a joke, my only fault is in being too trusting; too ready to believe that a young person would enjoy my book that much. This is not a bad thing. It shows I have confidence in my work. More confidence than I feel most times. :) I can live with that.

Prank or not, I'm good. I'd love for it to be true, and it likely is, but if it's not--that's okay, too.

I had an epiphany last Saturday. After a week of either WAY GOOD or WAY BAD reviews of my book, I decided to reaffirm I'm not writing for the masses. I am writing for myself. This journey is between me and God, although it is a public journey, the purposes and meaning are deeply personal. I spent the rest of that day completing my second book for submission, and mailed it off Monday morning, right on schedule.

I can only be the best ME I can be. That's true for all of us. I plan to grow as a writer with each book, not start out perfect and work my way down. And, when I believe I've put out the best work I can, I am sending the book to the publisher to say yes or no. With my ebooks, I will offer them to the most trusted of my beta readers to love or shred before putting them up for sale.

That doesn't mean I haven't spent the week (figuratively) biting my nails, certain my publisher will say no thanks to The Tyrant King. I'm still human. :)