The Truth About the Mormon Church: Am I in the Wrong Club?

by Kasey Tross

A few weeks ago I read an article in which a minister was attempting to explain LDS doctrine. In the comments section, a church member tried to clarify a few of this minister’s misconceptions (like that men in the LDS church could marry women without their consent- uh YIKES!), and he was met by another commenter who used the argument I hear all too often:

“Mormons don’t know the truth about their own church.”

Maybe I’m naive, but this statement is always so confusing to me. It’s like if I joined a club for people who love the color blue, and at all the meetings we all wore blue, talked about blue things, made blue craft projects, and ate blue food. Then someone told me, “You don’t know the truth about your club. It’s really a club for people who love red.”

Okay, so even if that was the case, what would be a good reason for me to stop attending, if I love blue and everything I see, hear, read, and experience from this club is about blue?

Perhaps such people think that the church is trying to get my money. After all, isn't the ulterior motive behind most things in the world either money or power? Well, if money were the driving force I would be okay with that because the church is using my money to build temples and meetinghouses where I worship, create and distribute worship materials that I use, and to spread the gospel through missionary work, which I wholeheartedly support. All church leaders on the local level are unpaid volunteers, and the ones in higher positions are paid appropriately according to the full-time service they provide. As far as I can tell, nobody is getting rich from my membership in this church.

So let's take the second option: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is power hungry, and they want to control large groups of people. To do what? To serve in disaster areas around the world? To provide means to the less fortunate to get a good education? To help people in their community who are struggling? To bring people to a knowledge of Jesus Christ?

Actually…yeah, I'm okay with all that too.

So tell me, what am I missing?

Some of these individuals cite former leaders of the church and random obscure statements they made and say, "If people in your church knew what [fill in the blank here with Joseph Smith or any other former leader of the church] said about [fill in the blank here with some topic] then you would probably [cry, demand that your name be removed from the records of the church or fill in the blank with some other extreme reaction]." I, for one, can say that that is not true. Because what these people don't know is that my faith is not based on some random statement made by Joseph Smith or any other leader of this church. They are just men- good men, but imperfect and human. My faith is based on the teachings of Jesus Christ- who is the real Head of this Church- and those are the teachings I hear in church every Sunday. His teachings are what I read about in the Bible, the Book of Mormon, and the Doctrine and Covenants. I am a member of this church- His church- because I believe in Him, and I believe that the doctrines of this church are what will help me draw closer to him, not the words of the leaders (though I believe many of those words are inspired and do help me draw closer to him). For a great article discussing this in more depth, click here.

The best thing about this church is that we are encouraged to question. If I ever wonder whether a leader is off the mark, I am allowed to question and receive answers from the Lord for myself. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, second counselor to the President of the LDS Church, said:

“We are a question-asking people. We have always been, because we know that inquiry leads to truth. That is how the Church got its start, from a young man who had questions. In fact, I’m not sure how one can discover truth without asking questions. In the scriptures you will rarely discover a revelation that didn’t come in response to a question…. Inquiry is the birthplace of testimony. 

“Some might feel embarrassed or unworthy because they have searching questions regarding the gospel, but they needn’t feel that way. Asking questions isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a precursor of growth.” 

In the LDS Church we are taught the process of personal revelation, and we are encouraged to find answers and learn the truth for ourselves, and not to simply follow our leaders blindly.

I am not writing this post to convert anyone, though you may have noticed that Mormons are pretty big on that too. Why? Because we want more money for bigger, better meetinghouses? Because we want bragging rights? No. Because we love Christ and we have found peace and joy in His gospel, and we not only want to share it, but we know that we are commanded to share it. Robert C. Oaks gave this wonderful analogy about why we share our faith:

"Consider that you are invited to a friend’s house for breakfast. On the table you see a large pitcher of freshly squeezed orange juice from which your host fills his glass. But he offers you none. Finally, you ask, 'Could I have a glass of orange juice?'
He replies, 'Oh, I am sorry. I was afraid you might not like orange juice, and I didn’t want to offend you by offering you something you didn’t desire.' 

"Now, that sounds absurd, but it is not too different from the way we hesitate to offer up something far sweeter than orange juice. I have often worried how I would answer some friend about my hesitancy when I meet him beyond the veil." – Robert C. Oaks, Oct. 2000

We share because we love what we have and we want others to enjoy the same happiness and peace.

But are all Mormons happy all the time? No. Once again, we are human and imperfect. However, most of us have inner peace (sometimes called “ruthless optimism”) that comes from knowing who we are, where we came from, why we're here, and where we're going after we die.

So for all of you who try to tell me I'm in the wrong club, I know you mean well, but I just can't believe it. The scriptures tell us, "By their fruits ye shall know them.”(Matthew 7:20) When it comes to what really matters, I see nothing but good fruit. And I will continue to partake.

Please note: This is not a post directed to those who disagree with our doctrine. I understand that everyone must follow their own path, and to you I say that we can agree to disagree. “We claim the privilege of worshipping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege. Let them worship how, where or what they may.” (Articles of Faith #11) This post is regarding those who are of the opinion that I am misinformed about my faith, or that I am somehow being duped about my religion.

Coming up this Saturday and Sunday is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' semi-annual General Conference, which is televised around the world and is also available to view online. I would encourage any of you who have questions or concerns about the LDS Church to watch this conference and make your own decision based on what you see and hear. And just so you know, this conference is not a show- the teachings you will hear are the same ones we hear every week in our meetinghouses around the world, and the messages given there will be published and used as resource material for church members from now on. 

About the Cross

image source

by Kasey Tross

The other day my kids and I got into a discussion about why most Christian churches have crosses on them and why ours, as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not. I thought I’d take the time today to share my thoughts on the matter with those of you who may not be of our faith, and to remind those of us of our faith of the meaning behind it.

First, let me just quote people who know better than I do- this is taken directly from one of our church magazines, The New Era:

"President Gordon B. Hinckley explained the reason [for no crosses] in a talk delivered in general conference. He told about talking to a Protestant minister following a temple open house. The minister had asked why there were no crosses anywhere if we say we believe in Jesus Christ. President Hinckley answered, ‘I do not wish to give offense to any of my Christian brethren who use the cross on the steeples of their cathedrals and at the altars of their chapels, who wear it on their vestments, and imprint it on their books and other literature. But for us, the cross is the symbol of the dying Christ, while our message is a declaration of the living Christ.’

'He then asked, "If you do not use the cross, what is the symbol of your religion?"
'I replied that the lives of our people must become the only meaningful expression of our faith and, in fact, therefore, the symbol of our worship’ (“The Symbol of Christ,” New Era, Apr. 1990, p. 4).”  (full article)

I think that President Hinckley (a former president of the LDS Church who passed away in 2008) said it beautifully. My husband once told me that when he asked his father this same question- about why we do not have crosses on our churches- his father asked him, “If someone you loved was shot and killed would you want to go around wearing a necklace with a gun on it?” Probably not.

 His point was that the cross is a symbol only of the Savior’s death, a single day out of His ministry, not the 33 years of perfect life He gave beforehand. Like President Hinckley said, we prefer to memorialize the life of Christ and His teachings through the way we live, to always remember Him by seeking Him out on a daily basis.

But let me go back for a minute- if I were on the other side of this discussion I would probably want to point out that the most significant thing Jesus Christ gave to us was the Atonement, a gift that was incomplete without His death, and that His death was a pivotal moment. And I agree with that, absolutely. So let me assure you, I do not think the cross is insignificant by any means. And I completely understand why many choose to uphold it as a symbol of their Christian faith.

When I was a teenager a friend gave me a beautiful cross on a necklace as a gift. I felt conflicted about this- I loved my friend and I didn’t want to seem ungrateful, but I wasn’t sure about wearing the cross, just because it’s something that’s not really done in the Mormon community. So for several weeks- maybe months- I kept the cross in its box in my jewelry chest.

One day I had a beautiful realization. I realized that the old saying, “It’s the thought that counts,” was very true in this case. I realized that my friend- a very strong Christian- would not have given this cross to just anyone. She gave it to me because she recognized me as a fellow follower of Christ. She recognized it through my words and deeds, and in her eyes, this would be a fitting gift for me.

After that little epiphany, I wore my cross, and whenever I was asked about it by my LDS friends I would explain to them why I wore it and why it was special to me.

Since then, I have received other cross-themed gifts. In the spirit of friendship and love, I refrain from giving anyone a lecture about Mormons and crosses; instead, I accept it with joy in my heart, knowing that a friend has recognized me as a believer, and feeling grateful that we share a love for our Savior.

For more information about crosses and the LDS (Mormon) faith, visit lds.org.

How do you feel about the absence of crosses on Mormon churches?

I was a teenage Mormon Monster

I warn you in advance... this is a long post that won't be like my normal ones. Given recent events in our little blogger world, I thought it was time to share.

Growing up just outside of Charleston, West Virginia, I had some technical difficulties in life with depression and anxiety. Some of it was the result of bullying, which prompted my parents in tenth grade, to transfer me into a Christian School. They thought it might be a more positive environment for me. Not so much.

I was the only Mormon in a very small school. The tenth grade class was something like twelve kids, and our days alway included a prayer in class and a devotional. So it wasn't long before it was my turn to give the prayer in prayer circle. Everyone said I prayed different, not bad -- just different. One of the kids went home and asked her parents why I said Heavenly Father and acted very personable towards God.  The parents answer? That I was a teenage Mormon Monster, bent on luring their children into my cultish ways.

The parents shared this opinion with the other children's parents. Within a week, I had f*** the cultist, spray painted on my locker. Bottles of soda were chucked at me during lunch and some students refused to even be in the same room with me. Their parents told them I had horns. Literally.

I was tormented and my life made a living hell, all because I prayed differently. It was still to the same creator, but very few saw it that way. Within the month, the board of the school met and decided to "ask" me to leave on the grounds that I was not Christian. The prnicipal and I had actually become buds over the weeks of dealing with the viscious attacks. When he gave me the news, it was sadly and with a note of irony -- "For not being a Christian, you are the most Christian girl I know."

I was chased by metaphorical pitchforks while they accused me of being a monster. But it was fear that turned these "good Christians" into the monsters. Fear and hate will do that to you, and often it is ill informed and ugly. I wish I could have explained to these parents that I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. But if I had, it probably wouldn't have done any good. Because hate is also blind and deaf.

I tell you this beecause there will always be someone out there that chooses to inflict their inner pain upon you.  You have the choice whether to become like them, a bully who lashes out at any one who believes differently than you, or become a tolerant and loving person that reaches out to understand those who are different.

This may seems like a post bashing southern bible belters. It's not. On a whole, they are good, hospitable and charitable people. So are we. Please remember that and let this serve as a reminder to us, as Mormons, that if someone is a democrat, or gay, or chooses to ascribe to a lifesyle different than your norm -- don't attack them or their beliefs. They are entitled to theirs, just as we are to ours.

Love thy neighbor, love thyself, and by doing so -- you love thy God.

Thanks or tuning into. You can visit me more at my blog, Finished being Fat, or friend me on Facebook Author Betsy Schow

Saturday So What Spotlight: Chrisy Ross

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 In fiction, our characters often have to skirt around some delicate issues. Non-Fiction is no different. Today's guest is Chrisy Ross, regular contributor to LDSLiving magazine, and the author of To Mormons, with LOVE (a little somethingfrom the new girl in Utah). Chrisy's book explores her introduction to Mormon culture through a non-member’s eyes.

Betsy: So first of all, what made you decide, "I need to write a book about this"?

Chrisy: When people discover we’re not members in a 99% member community, they’re interested to know how we ended up there and almost always ask, “What’s it really like?” Most of these people happen to be LDS and are curious about our family’s experience. I toyed with the idea of a full memoir, but niche nonfiction was a publishable idea per the all-knowing Internet, and I felt sincere about the project idea. After years of ambling through culture shock, finding my social footing, seeking to understand the foundation of a misunderstood religion, and recognizing my own biases—I wanted to share, entertain, and ultimately express love to my community.

Betsy: Religion, in general, is a very sensitive subject. Were you worried at all about stepping on toes?

Chrisy: Yes. I knew that the spirit and intent of my words weren’t harmful or radically polarizing, but it was important that I chose those words carefully to minimize any unnecessary bristling. Thankfully, I had wonderful critiquers. I didn’t expect everyone to like my book or to corroborate my perceptions, but I didn’t want anyone—particularly my friends and neighbors—to feel like I’d been exploitative.

Betsy: In your book, you really put yourself out there. You are very open and honest about your feelings and reactions to our little world of "knee shorts" and "oddly good-looking children". What would you say the Mormon reaction has been?

Chrisy: Overwhelmingly positive, supportive and generous. If there are any true haters (something I doubt), they’re hiding in the bushes. And apathetic people are always quiet. Mormon readers have taken the time to write lengthy emails, sharing stories—both funny and moving—about their experiences with cultural issues. I’ve heard from men, women, stake presidents, teenagers, people of all ages and from all over the United States. I’m thankful and touched by those who’ve enjoyed my book—their openness (in every sense of the word) and willingness to lovingly share details of their lives.

Betsy: One of the general rules of writing is "Know thy audience". A big part of that audience would be Latter-day-saints. A group that you, admittedly are not a part of. How do you approach that hurdle?

Chrisy: I live in Mayberry, Betsy. I “know thy audience.” Wasn’t much of a hurdle at all. Plus, the more I fretted over “thy audience,” the more my friends and critiquers (all LDS) reminded me…we’re all just people. “What’s funny to you is funny to Mormons, too.” They were right.

Betsy: Thanks again for dropping by, Chrisy. Tell our computer audience where they can pick up your funny and fabulous read.

Chrisy: I’m honored and humbled to chat with you here. Much gratitude to you and your readers, Betsy.

My website http://chrisyross.com has links to booksellers’ sites for paperback as well as digital copies. You can also find the book in regional Deseret Book and Barnes & Noble stores, BYU Bookstore, and other independent LDS book stores.

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Articles on LDSLiving.com:

Is shunning something we still do in 2012?

What's Mine Is Yours . . . Sometimes

To Mormons, With Love from Your Non-LDS Neighbor