Guest Post: Writing as Therapy by Lisa Rector

Hi, I am excited to write this guest post for Mormon Mommy Writers. I am Lisa Rector, a stay at home mom for two lovely daughters, ages 10 and 7. I have been married to my high school sweetheart for eleven years this December. I grew up in the Catoctin Mountains and had the advantages of spending most of that time outdoors. After college I worked as a labor and delivery nurse while waiting for my sweetheart to come home from his mission. The rest of that is history, and I am happy to say I am more in love with my wonderful husband every day. Completely an introvert, I relish the quiet life. You could say I am a little reclusive except for a few dear friends I enjoy sharing a cupcake or wild game night with.

Writing was just a fleeting whimsy in the past, I wrote poetry in high school to express my teenage angst. As my youngest entered kindergarten, I wondered what I would do all day. I considered working at a garden center, training to be a massage therapist, or a yoga instructor (All things I enjoy or am passionate about). But the reality of my physical limitations, due to health problems, started to set in—especially these past three years.

I just started writing this February. And here is the truth of it, which I have no shame in sharing since this is a Mormon Mommy Writers Blog. I feel that as an LDS woman, we all face moral issues at one time or another. I have an active imagination, and like to fantasize or tell stories to myself in order to get myself to fall asleep at night. (I suffer from insomnia and Restless Leg Syndrome.) I realized that some of my ‘imaginings’ were more graphic than I liked. It was turning into a problem. So I began to pray about it. Well, one night I got the most distinct answer. Write. Put my dreams on paper. I already knew that anything I wrote would have to be something that I would not be embarrassed in any way, say, if my father read it. So it began the next day. The first thing I did was draw a map of a fantasy world, one of which, I had no idea how it would take shape. I let the pencil and the lines show me the way. I was excited to see the beginning of a world emerge. I created a new species that follow the themes of light verses dark, a concept I have always been interested in. My stories are underlying romance, but I want the reader to learn some core truths that I weave into my work. So approaching a year later, I have rough drafts of the first two books, and I have started on the third. They will be a chronicle of undetermined size. I am just trying to be patient, (which is not my strong suit) and enjoy the writing process for now.

I have to laugh, because in High School English class I received C’s! My teacher actually called home once because I was so close to getting a D. My grammar is sad. I equate it to learning a second language, because I just can’t remember all the rules. In the beginning of my writing, I worried that my skill level would only be appropriate for youth readers. My favorite author is Brandon Mull, and I looked at his writing and thought, I can do that. I can write something at least up to that level. It really helped when I joined a writing critique group and saw that many first drafts were just like mine!

Several fellow writers encouraged me to just write until everything in my head gets on the paper. Don’t worry about the editing in the beginning. That is so true. Trying to edit even one chapter, or one sentence, I should say, was pointless. I was probably editing it wrong anyway. I scrounged up a writer’s reference, and read it here and there, but it really makes my head roll.

Point of view is still a challenge, but it is getting easier. Tenses drive me nuts. Still trying to figure out how to show the reader, instead of tell the reader. I hear the emotional Thesaurus is a great reference—I need to order it. I read lots of blogs on writing. I should read novels more, but I am at a time in my life when I am so restless. If it doesn’t hold my interest right away, then I never finish it (I can thank my new writing skills and blogs I have read about introductory hooks). I prefer quick easy reads, which I hope my books will be also.

Find friends to read your work. I am always afraid of being too wordy with my writing or adding boring details, but so far, it seems that with my fantasy world, everyone wants more clarity. That is so hard for me, when I know all about my world and others don’t. Read through one section of your writing and ask yourself, what does the reader learn from these few pages? This really helps to see it from the reader’s point of view.

I struggle with finding the right time to write. If my days are crazy, I want to write in the evenings, and then I end up neglecting my children. I try to write in the mornings as soon as I send them off to school but that doesn’t always happen. I have to compromise. I think of this as a part time job, and I have to make time for my kids. But that being said, when I get an idea, I have to write it before I forget it, which happens to me a lot.

I decided to write three books at the same time, partly because I wanted to make sure there were no discrepancies between the books. Several of my characters are in all of the books. I am giving myself three years, one year a book. It could take a long time for me to feel the books are ready. I want to make sure my characters are developed enough. Thoughts have passed my mind about how so many fantasy genres are epic. I don’t think my books would become that deep, but I don’t want them to only be about the romance. I am determined to take my time until I get it right. It is possible I might start another book in the meantime. I find writing at least distracts me from the editing process.

Joining a critique group was probably the best thing I could have done. It is a group of six LDS authors. Some are published; okay, I think maybe they all are. Some are self-published, and some were blessed enough to find publishers. It is interesting to get a manuscript back from them, and see how they all viewed my chapter. It feels like a puzzle for me to put together, but right away I started learning even more. I crave the learning, and it is teaching me to slow down. I might roll my eyes, and say, oh, not again. Or, I thought that section was awesome, but that isn’t always the case.

Writing has opened my eyes to how I see things in the world. I think of things in the five senses. I dream now in a narration. I think, how would I describe this event in a book? I love that I am learning and growing. The one thing that I need to learn in this existence, the one thing I came to earth to gain a body for, is patience, and writing does just that. Writing shall be my greatest challenge and my greatest teacher.

Hopefully in three years you might see a couple books by these titles in The Half-Emrys Chronicles: The Master of Lies, The Two Masters, and Master of Time. Until then, happy writing! Never ever stop.

A Look Back: My 2-Year MMW Anniversary

2 years ago I started a crazy and wonderful journey. I was a budding, fledgling writer without many credits to my name- well, okay, I still am. :-)

I felt completely out of my league with all of the incredible accomplished ladies who graced the pages of Mormon Mommy Writers (well, okay, so I still do). I felt starry-eyed with anticipation, more than a little overwhelmed (and nervous) that I had been selected to fill a slot here, but so excited for the possibilities that lay before me.

It’s been two years, and the journey is still just beginning for me. But I thought it might be helpful- for me and for those of you may now be where I was then- to take a look back and see how far I’ve come. Here’s what’s happened since I wrote my first post at MMW:

1. I had several stories accepted for publication into the Friend magazine and one actually published (Patrick and the Priesthood- October 2012).

2. I submitted my children’s poetry book to Deseret Book for publication!

3. I received a rejection letter from Deseret Book for my poetry book. *sigh*

4. I attended a writing workshop with author Jason F. Wright, and a class/critique group with author (and MMW) Lana Krumwiede. I have become friendly enough with both of those authors that they return my e-mails and will go out of their way to say hello to me if they see me somewhere (thanks, guys). :-)

5. I got hired for a couple paid gigs writing articles and this past summer I was invited to join the staff of a local magazine (Reaching New Heights) as a writer- I now do two articles a month for them.

6. I wrote a pageant for my stake’s youth conference and saw it produced. It was amazing!

7. I had a short story selected for publication in an LDS anthology called “Circle of Sisters” which came out earlier this year.

8. I was called as the Media Relations Director (assistant to the Public Relations Director) for my stake, which means that I write the press releases and articles for all our local newspapers and other news media.

9. I attended my first writing conference hosted by James River Writers. What an amazing experience!

10. I wrote a book. A whole, 71,062-word book, which has been my dream ever since I was little. Still a lot of work to be done on it, but still. A book!

I can honestly say that I would not have accomplished all of this without the inspiring motivation I have found within the MMW community. Knowing I would have to come on here every week (or every other week now) and give some kind of inspiration or insight about this passion we all enjoy has forced me to stay focused on it. Reading the posts of my fellow MMWs has taught me and inspired me and introduced me to even more talented and remarkable women who are succeeding in writing.

I still have a long way to go, but seeing how far I’ve come in just the first 2 years of my writing career, I am excited for more good things to come. I know there is still a lot of hard work ahead for me, but there is nothing else I’d rather be doing, and no other group of people I’d rather be doing it with.

So if you’re just a starry-eyed rookie writer with a dream like me, I am here to tell you to just keep writing. The more we write, the better we get, the more confidence we gain, and the more doors of opportunity will open for us. This is a long road we travel, and so much of it is just about the journey.

Write, write, write, and together we’ll reach our dreams, one goal at a time!

Where are you in your writing journey? Take the time to go back and see what you’ve accomplished since you began- you might realize you’ve come farther than you think. 

Inspiration Notebooks

 

Nanowrimo just ended and I did not write 50,000 words of a novel. Starting out the month I knew that I would not be able to complete it. I have been working on a story called The Hope Chest and it is a story about my grandparents and their lives during a period while they were engaged. My grandpa was called away to World War II and didn’t return for four years. With each chapter I write I read several letters, my grandpa’s journal and research with history books. It is a project that I love, but has taken several years to get the story the way I want it. I am almost done and hope to finish by next April.

I also write on my genealogy blog Sharing Apples and for a web site called Family Storytelling. On top of that I get ideas and write them down. In the past I have just written down phrases or ideas on random pieces of paper. Slowly I started collecting notebooks. Specific notebooks for each thing I am writing. I keep a notebook in my car, one in my purse, in my bedroom and wherever I might need it.

I met an author that has several books out and she was talking about all her notebooks that she keeps. It made me feel good that I wasn’t the only one who did that.

I get those creative ideas and I need to get them down whenever, wherever. What do you do to keep track of your ideas? Do you have a stash of notebooks too?

TTFN, asta la pasta, and all that other jazz

-by Betsy Schow

So long. Farewell. I can't spell alf feeder zane so goodbye!

This is my last post for MMW. Now, now, dry your tears. (since I can't see you, I can pretend what I want)

I'll still be around on my own site, www.betsyschow.com  I figured I should actually invest some time in my OWN author's site.

I know I claimed hermitage, but I really will miss scrambling to find something that people might actually want to hear about.

On the exit note, being an MMW is hard. Not the blogging MMW, the Mormon Mommy Writer balancing act for all of us. Finding time for writing, family, and callings in our faith seems impossible some days. And yet, you all do it. You are my heroes.

A few parting pieces of wisdom.

A dream is never over until you decide you are awake.

While a story is never perfect, that means any mistakes can always be fixed and improved so you can get that YES!

Writing always reads better when you are having fun

Be original, because there is only room for one series of sparkly abbed vampires.

Never, Ever, EVER give up what you want in life. Doesn't matter if it takes 1 book, or 50. The only way to fail at being a writer is to stop writing.

Love y'all.

Betsy

Character Personality Disorder

By Nikki Wilson

Character Personality Disorder: A disorder in which a writer takes on some personality traits and characteristics of one or more characters he or she is writing about.

Ok, so this isn't actually a real disorder, but it should be. For the month of November, I've been so immersed in my novel and my new main character that I have taken on many of her traits. Which would be wonderful if she was an organized, happy, emotionally stable character. Unfortunately, she tries to act like she has everything under control when in fact she is a mess underneath her calm, cool manner. She meets a man who suddenly brings out the worse in her and he sees her for the emotional wreck that she is. Which of course pisses her off and makes her even worse.

See my problem? I'm becoming an emotional mess and every little thing is setting me off. I'm over analyzing conversations and becoming defensive over the smallest things. This is not good! Now I know why I'm behaving this way, because I am in my character's head, or rather she is taking over mine. What I can't figure out, however, is why my husband is acting like the annoying love interest in the book! He knows exactly which buttons to push to set me off, just like in my book.

I told my husband this theory and he thought about it for a moment before giving his reply: "Can you hurry up and write the part where we settle our differences and live happily ever after?"
My thought: "AMEN!"

If ever there was motivation to write THE END, this should be it, right? But I can't help but wonder if that will fix my problem or if I will need to go to therapy for my character's issues! Is there a help group for this? I wonder if other authors have ever had this problem. For instance, did J.K. Rowling get extremely curious and nose into other people's business when she was writing Harry Potter? Did J.R.R. Tolkien suddenly crave 2nd and 3rd breakfasts and want only to sit around and smoke his pipe?

Have any of you experienced anything like this? Is there a cure? What author do you think would have the worse character personality disorder if this was a real thing??

"Can I Read It?"

by Katy White

This year, I've finished two different first drafts, and I'm honestly thrilled about both of them.  Don't get me wrong, I'm sure when I start the second drafts, I'll realize they're absolute rubbish.  But writing them was energizing, and I didn't have any prolonged moments of, "Oh crap, where do I go now?"  I feel like that's a success in its own right. And, to revisit one of my favorite quotes:

“Every first draft is perfect because all the first draft has to do is exist. It's perfect in its existence. The only way it could be imperfect would be to NOT exist.” 


―Jane Smiley

As much as it scared me to admit to my friends and family my dream of becoming a writer, I decided to do it.  I posted on Facebook that I was participating in NaNoWriMo, and explained what it was.  I was relieved to see so much support from my peeps, and some of them even became great cheerleaders for me.  So when I posted that I had won NaNo and finished my novel, I felt on top of the world!

Then comments like these started appearing:

Katy White!!!!!!! You are my hero!! Love ya girl!! Can I read it pretty please???
That's amazing!! You are awesome! Can I read it too? I need some good reading 
So awesome! I knew you could do it.  Can't wait to read it!
Seriously, I need to read it now.

Sigh.

I've asked several writing friends about their experiences having friends and family read their work, and it's been pretty unanimously crummy.  Like mine.  What's up with that?  My first novel is the novel of my heart, and when my siblings and Dad and best friends asked to read it, I just assumed that, of course they'd actually read it!  And they'd love it!  And if they didn't love it, they'd still give me really, really good feedback that would help me make it so darn amazing, that it would sell a humble hundred thousand copies.  (Okay, so maybe me expectations weren't realistic.  I see that now.)

What I wasn't prepared for is people not reading it.  Of my four absolute best friends in the world, each a bibliophile whose favorite genre was my novel's genre, only one of them read it.  She reads two books a week, yet it took her four months.   Slap to the face.  And the slaps kept coming.

That isn't to say that no one read it, and it isn't to say that no one loved it or gave me incredible, much needed feedback.  Because that stuff happened, too.  But the negative experiences overwhelmed the positive ones to the point that I vowed to never again send a book until I was good and jaded enough not to let this hurt me.  Or, at least not to send it out so naively.

Fast forward to my current predicament of having super kind, well-intentioned friends who don't actually know they don't want to read my book.  They'll say that it's because it's so hard to read a book online, they'll ask if I can send them a hard copy, and they'll explain all about their computer problems.  Some of it will be legitimate, too.  But all of it will be disheartening.

Now I face the task of explaining to these well-intentioned friends that I have multiple drafts to do still that will take several months.  I need to explain to those whose interest still exists after all that that they can only read it if they promise that they're willing to give me real, hard feedback by a certain deadline, even if it's only to say, "I hate the title."  And through this, I hope I'll help some of the nice ones realize that the kindest thing to do is to not commit to something they can't or won't actually follow-through on.

Gina's recent post gave great suggestions and a helpful resource for finding critique partners.  But in general, how do you respond to "Can I read it?"

Jane Austen and British Banknotes

[Apologies to my UK readers for telling you stuff you know already, but most readers of this blog are American so this might actually be vaguely interesting to them.]

A few months ago I listened to a radio debate sparked by a redesign of one of our banknotes. Here in the UK we have four notes (bills). £5 is bluey green and has a picture of Elizabeth Fry, a prison reformer and philanthropist. The £10 note is brown and features Charles Darwin. The £20 note is purple and has a picture of Adam Smith, a pioneer of political economy. Apparently (I've never had one) the £50 note is red and has a picture of Matthew Boulton and James Watt who together developed the steam engine. (The notes are all different sizes and colours to help blind and partially sighted people identify which is which, and £1 = about US$1.50)

Anyway, this debate was talking about the fact that the Bank of England had decided to redesign the £5 note, as it does with all notes occasionally, and it would now feature Winston Churchill. I admire Churchill, but a controversy had arisen because it would mean that UK banknotes now only pictured men. Naturally the protest arose that it was just as important to celebrate the enormous contribution that women had made to British history.

A petition arose and apparently it was successful because we have just heard that the £10 note is also to be redesigned and Charles Darwin will gave way to Jane Austen.

I'm very happy about having a woman, and a writer, featured on the money I use every day. Especially that it's Charles Darwin who is being ousted, because he in turn replaced Florence Nightingale who is, according to family lore, among my ancestors.  I look forward to seeing Mary Wollstoncraft, Virginia Woolf  and George Elliot nestling amidst the receipts in my purse someday. JK Rowling isn't eligible, because you have to be a dead historical figure, apparently.

But perhaps the amusing PS to this story about all the protests that the notes only feature men is that if you turn them over they all have a picture of the Queen.

What Makes the Perfect Critique Partner

I have some of the best critique partners in the whole world. I'm really sorry if you think your critique partners are the best in the whole world, because they're not. Mine are.

At least, they're the best for me.

And that's really the quest, isn't it? To find the very best partner for you. So how do you go about doing it? And how do you know when you've found it?

I don't know.

Much like falling in love, finding the perfect CP is a lot about how well you two mesh together, how well you "get" each other, and that undefinable je ne sais quoi. But here are some tips to help you get started, and hopefully avoid some of the worst pitfalls.

The perfect CP communicates the same way you do. 
If you're a twitter junkie and this prospective CP thinks twitter is for the birds (see what I did there? Eh???), you might be a poor match. If this prospective CP wants to Skype everyday and that bugs the crap out of you, you might be a poor match. You're going to be communicating with each other. A LOT. It should be comfortable for both of you.

(to be honest, though - my best CPs have become my friends and we tweet, facebook, email, gchat, skype, text, and visit in person. so.)

The perfect CP understands your genre AND category. 
You definitely do not want someone leaving six comments on every page saying, "This is too complicated, simplify it!" if your writing actually is quite clear. But if you write adult literary fiction and your CP writes MG science fiction... you're going to have this problem.

You don't have to write the same genre and category as your CP, but you need to understand each other's work. One of my favorite CPs writes YA fantasy. I don't write YA, but I read A LOT of it (in addition to the adult fantasy I read, of course), so I feel capable of giving her useful feedback.

The perfect CP needs the same amount of help you do. 
If you need help brainstorming ideas, structuring your story, building character arcs, understanding grammar, pacing, resolving conflicts, and layering metaphors, but your CP only needs someone to proofread their copy... you're not a good match. She's your mentor, not your partner.

Partners are equal, or at least semi-equal. One of you should not be pulling the other along through the marshes of this crazy world we call writing, you should be helping each other. If one of you is pulling the other, it's a mentorship. If you have one of those, be grateful for it and be on the lookout to be a mentor to someone else when the time comes.

The perfect CP does not need help with the same things as you. 
This would be like the blind leading the blind.

The perfect CP gets your style. 
Personal story (because the rest of this post has been so impersonal, you know): I once traded manuscripts with someone who tore my book to shreds. She changed every verb, crossed out and re-worded literally every sentence, questioned my characters, ridiculed my focus, said, "You've written a character-driven story, and I really think it needs to be a milieu-based story instead."

Guess what?

I didn't make any of those changes.

She didn't get me or my book. She wanted a different book, she wanted something that I wasn't writing, and she wasn't willing to see past her own preferences to see what I was doing. And that's totally okay. She's a perfectly good writer and she's the right partner for somebody. Somebody else. 

So there you have it. Five tips to help you identify the perfect CP. I found mine on twitter, you can find them through writing groups (like ANWA *shameless plug*), or you can check out this excellent site, CPSeek.com , where I also found two of my favorite CPs.

Go forth and find your match.

Excited for Christmas?

First, I want to apologize for the late post today... I do have a tendency to forget things easily, and yesterday I was distracted by a current interest of mine.  :)  Our conversation went kinda long...

Anyway!
As I pondered what to talk about today, the same thought came to me that Ashley and Jessica posted about yesterday, so I am going to continue on that topic, because I feel that it is a really important one.  I have found that in the last few years my excitement towards Christmas has been dwindling, and that has got me thinking.  Why does it not get me excited anymore?  I know that part of that has to do with what most parents deal with every year, and that is the stress of getting gifts for their kids, and making sure that it is perfect and "magical".  Being a single mother, this is really hard on me, because I can't do the things that I want to for my kids.  Many years, I didn't know how I would get anything for my children.  Thankfully, I have a loving Heavenly Father, who loves us very much and has made it possible to have decent Christmas'.

But beyond that, I wondered what else would be contributing?  The conclusion I came to, is that I have slowly been loosing the real spirit of Christmas!  I've been so worried about having gifts, and making sure my kids are excited for Santa, that I have been failing to help us have a REAL Christmas.  I have been so caught up in the pain of being financially strapped that I have fallen into the opposite problem for most people (spending too much) but ending up with the same issue.  It bothers me a lot now when I see people spelling Christmas as "X-mas".  That is what is literally what is going on in society.  We are "X-ing" out the reason the holiday was created, which is CHRIST.

So, without delving into societies issues, what are we going to do about it?  Well, of course we should start with changing our own perspectives, then we can move to how we can help others.  I sat down with my children and we decided what we were going to do this year.  I didn't want to deprive them of the excitement of presents totally, I just want to keep Christmas centered around Christ.  So we decided that December would be "Christmas month".  They would get to open a gift randomly throughout the month, and we would also do R.A.K.; Random acts of Kindness.  They obviously liked this idea, because they'd get to open their gifts early, and they always get excited about doing "secret" surprised for people.  I then told my kids I'd talk to Santa and ask him to deliver our gifts from him on Christmas Eve morning.  I have a special connection with him, see... and he agrees that Christmas Day should be about Christ. :)  On Christmas Day, that leaves the gift giving out of the picture!  When I mentioned this idea to the rest of my family, they not only liked the idea, but started getting ideas about what else to do, like playing games with family, reading the story of the birth of Christ etc.  It got them all excited, and it almost felt like it lifted a burden off of their shoulders!

So I am REALLY curious as to what your Christmas traditions are, and please share ideas on what to do to think about Christ more on his day...  How do you get your families to focus on him?  Please share your ideas!! I am an open book right now!  Thanks for helping me get back the excitement of Christmas!!!

The Reason for the Season

Written by Ashley & Jessica

It’s officially December.  The Christmas season is now in full swing.  Shoppers are out in force eager for the best deal on gift items.  Holiday music can be heard everywhere.  I find myself singing lines from Silver Bells as I pass Christmas banners hung on the sides of city streets.  Santa has made numerous sightings, and snowmen (the decorative ones) are popping up all over.  Homes and other buildings are getting a Christmas makeover, decked out in twinkle lights and other festive decorations. 

 

But where is Christ? 

 

I love Christmas and pretty much all this season brings.  (I do not like the extra traffic and holiday shoppers)  I love the rush of picking out gifts for the people I love and planning the holiday goodies I’m going to make.  But the thing that makes this time of year special is the very Person that is often forgotten and is being pushed from the public eye.  Let us not forget the real reason for celebrating this Christmas.  Let us not forget the reason behind our joy and thanks.  Let us all remember our Lord and Redeemer, Jesus Christ.  Let Him be the center of our holiday, and lets all try a little bit harder to share Him and His message of love and joy with those around us.

 

Merry Christmas to all of you!  I hope this month and this Christmas season brings you joy!