Start Small

- a post by Jeanna Mason Stay

Anyone who lives near me and knows me well enough to drop in unexpectedly (or just drop in at all really) already knows this unsurprising fact: I am not much good at keeping the house clean. Insert the usual reasons here: small children, other priorities, and so on. This isn’t about making me feel better for having a messy house.

This is about making changes—to cleaning up, to writing, to whatever.

A friend of mine recommended this book called How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind (which, incidentally, is on sale at Amazon today only!), and I recently started reading it. Previous decluttering/cleaning-related books had fallen flat for me over and over. The ideas sounded awesome, but I was never very good with follow-through. (Plus, as has become a standing joke, I don’t like to talk to my socks, and my tax documents don’t really spark joy.)

This book is for the non-organized among us. In fact, the author, Dana White, starts off by saying that most of those other books are written by organized people, people who just logically work that way. White is not.

Well, honestly, I think this book is pretty great. It’s all kind of completely obvious—except that I’d never really thought these things through, and I’d never really bought into them before. So it’s obvious but also ... not obvious. And for the first time in a long time, my dishes are being finished every night (even if I have to handwash a couple!), my kitchen floor is clean(ish), and tidying doesn’t feel like it takes forever. I consider all of these things epic wins (even at the same time that I’m super embarrassed to admit that as a 37yo I still hadn’t figured out how to do these things regularly). So if you too have cleaning problems, go buy it! Read it! It’s an idea.

But this post isn’t actually about whether or not you’re a clean person. It’s about starting small. And how small makes a huge difference.

In How to Manage Your Home, the first task you’re assigned is just to do the dishes every day. For some of us, this seems like a daunting task. But White essentially says, “Pull up your big-kid panties and just do it.”

Do it the first day, when it’s really hard because you’re way behind.

And then do it the second day, when it’s not as bad.

And the third day, when it’s getting a little easier.

Novel concept, yes? Just do it.

And now we come around to writing! (See? I do get there eventually.)

How does a story get written? A few words at a time. A couple of sentences, then paragraphs, then pages. But how does it not get done? By staring at the blank screen (or even just thinking about the blank screen) and freaking out because there’s so much to do and you haven’t started and you’re on a deadline and your ideas are crap and everyone out there is a bestseller and your friend has a more popular social media account than you and maybe if you just post something brilliant (like a blog post about starting small?) suddenly everyone will love you and you’ll get contracts and agents and publishers and million-dollar advances, but wait, none of that is going to work because your screen is still blank and it’s freaking you out and...

Get the picture? So what should you do about that story that you haven’t figured out yet? That you really want to write but it’s scaring you because it’s so hard or you’re not sure where to go or you’re not sure you’re good enough to write it yet? (Welcome to my entire life right now, by the way.)

You should go sit and type a few sentences.

Do it today, when it’s awful and hard.

Do it tomorrow, when it’s still insanely daunting.

Do it the next day, even when you’re still lost.

And the next and the next and the next.

You can do it. (And now I have to go start working on that story I’ve been avoiding like the dickens. Sigh. Taking my own advice is overrated.)

Revised Resolutions

by Jewel Leann Williams

I keep swearing off resolutions, and then after all of the talk and reading about them during January, I feel guilty and plant myself a little crop of resolutions, feel better, and then ignore them for the rest of the year and feel guilty all over again.

This year threatened to be more of the same, but I read a few things that rescued me.

First, this:

This advice from President Thomas S. Monson is very simple, and yet, as most advice from the Prophet is, profound. For me, it speaks to my overachieving, way-too-high-expectations-of-myself soul, whispering to just chill out. (I'm sure that's what President Monson would say. "Just chill out, little sister." Ok maybe not. But still...)

I keep seeing goals with these "Write XXX words a day," "Do XXX pushups" "Save XXX dollars" and I always, ALWAYS fall short.  Apparently, those numbers are MORE than my current best self.

So my goals are: "Write MORE. Even if it's a little. Doesn't matter how much."  "Exercise MORE. Even if it's just going up the stupid stairs at work even when your bum knee aches." "Look for ways to save money. Even if it's a little, even if it's a jar with nickels and dimes in it."

This brings to mind advice from my favorite President forever, President Gordon B. Hinckley. He said this quite often in his talks, and I remember how encouraging it was to hear:

I used the meme I found with the cane because this is my favorite way to remember President Hinckley. Wise and loving but oh so spunky and with just the right touch of silliness.

He usually followed it up with things like:  a little kinder, a little more generous, a little stronger.... those are worthy--and attainable--goals.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf told a story in the January 2017 Ensign about watching archers and the way they took aim; if they missed, they didn't throw down the bow, never to pick it up again. They refocused their aim and tried again. Mastering the bow takes practice--years of intentional practice, of listening to experts, of learning new ways to do things, and yes, making mistakes and learning from them.

So my goal is to find ways to re-aim. To be a little better. No more guilt trips because I didn't hit some arbitrarily imposed number of pages, of dollars, of pounds. Just, a little better.

Yup, I know all the stuff out there about defining your goals or you won't reach them, yada yada yada. I'm sure I'm going against all the conventional wisdom, but I'm a rebel. I rebel. :) (Couldn't help it)

I'm going to try a little harder to be a little better. My method of "resolving" is also my way of trying to be a little kinder to myself.

Levels of Doom

- a post by Jeanna Mason Stay

I have been stuck stuck stuck on several WIPs for . . . longer than I care to admit. I’ve been avoiding them in every way possible—Facebook and games on my phone, email and book-reading, and of course the always available mountains of laundry, dishes, and household projects. Pretty much ALL THE THINGS. I’ve been rather aimless in my writing, not to mention extremely dissatisfied.

My mom was an avid crocheter.* When she died, she left me boxes and boxes of yarn. One of her favorite things to crochet was beautiful afghans; she made and gave away dozens. But she also loved crocheting bookmarks. Friends, family, and random strangers have all received bookmarks. And after that, probably more random strangers too.**

When I inherited all her yarn, I started out making an afghan for me and my husband. It was to be for our wedding, which occurred about four months after she died. . . . I finally finished the afghan for our second anniversary.

Since then, I mostly make stuffed animals.

Which leads me (finally) to the title of this post: levels of doom. Some projects are just easier and faster to finish than others. Afghans take longer; stuffed animals are shorter. Afghans are a higher level of Doom.*** Both, however, are generally less emotionally and mentally draining than writing.**** Writing projects also have levels of Doom, though: little Doom like blog posts, or higher levels of Doom, like novels.

Lots of Doom was involved here, trust me.

Sometimes we don’t have the desire or tolerance for the higher levels of Doom. I love writing novels; some part of me feels like it’s what I’m supposed to do with my writing. But there’s another part of me that derives immense satisfaction from the thrill of actually finishing something—and not taking two or three years to do it (hence the stuffed animals). And it doesn’t have to just be one or the other, it can be a little of both, with something else entirely on the side.

So if your writing goals are getting you down (as they were me), I highly recommend asking yourself some questions:

~ Where are those goals coming from? (Are they external or internal? What is influencing them?)

~ Do they inherently matter to you or are they pressured from external sources? (I found that I had this weird inflated notion that the only kind of thing that mattered was for me to write books. This wasn’t true; it was just something I’d always assumed.)

See? Less Doom!

~ Is this the best time to pursue them? (Are there other things that are more important right now? To everything there is a season, and all that jazz.)

~ Will taking a break and focusing on different goals give you some renewed joy and energy? (Lately I’ve found that I’m very excited about teaching a year-long writing class for teens at my homeschool co-op, and I’ve remembered lately how much I love editing, and I’m especially glad to be reading good books and hanging out with my kiddos.)

I think it can be scary to admit that maybe what you were pursuing doesn’t matter as much as you thought, but it can be freeing too. At least, I hope so. I’ll let you know how it goes.

* Apparently this is not a word, but what exactly does one call someone who crochets?
** If memory serves, we even gave them away at her funeral as well, per her request.
*** No, not real doom; I don’t expect the world to end or anything if I don’t finish my afghan on time (although my mom is probably sitting up there on the clouds in heaven and shaking her crochet hook at me). I just mean the emotional and physical energy and the amount of time devoted to something.
**** Unless you’re inventing your own pattern because you’re insane and you just really don’t like the alligator patterns you find online, but that’s a digression.

Staying on the Road to Completion

By Lacey Gunter

The message of how important it is to follow through and complete your WIP comes up frequently in writing conferences and classes. For those of you who have completed manuscripts before, you know that this task can be really tough. That romance you felt with the characters and the story at the start of writing has usually long since fizzled before you finish. It is hard and sometimes almost painful work. You have to be a strict task master with yourself to finish and you probably sometimes ask yourself if maybe it would be better just to set aside your WIP and work on something else.

 Are there situations when finishing your WIP really isn't that important? I am a bit of a finishing junkie. I love that feeling of having something complete. This is not because I have a great natural talent for follow through. Quite the opposite, I have a natural tenancy for procrastination and distraction. It is for this reason that I feel so good when I complete something. I have overcome my natural tendencies and conquered the task. Having said that, I do feel there is one situation where shelfing a WIP and starting something new is a good idea. If you have discovered or learned some information which presents credible evidence that your WIP is simply unmarketable and completing it will not benefit you in some way (i.e. it is not a story you need to tell such as a family history and you don't need to prove to yourself you can complete a manuscript), then, by all means, stop wasting your time and move on to something more productive.  Most desires to quit a manuscript don't fall into this category. So when those feelings of disenchantment strike, what do you do to overcome it?

Here are some strategies I have learned to help me stay on the road to completion:

1. Set clear concise and achievable goals: Small tasks can be easily winged. It's a lot harder to complete a big multistage task in a reasonable amount of time without a little planning. And breaking that big task up into manageable chunks can make the task seem less overwhelming.

2. Couple those goals with deadlines and consequences: Being a natural procrastinator, my creative juices are usually like thick sludge right up until the last possible moment when they finally start to flow like a river. One way I have found to combat this is to create deadlines for myself. I don't mean those flimsy artificial deadlines you write on your calendar and no one else really cares or sees except for maybe your spouse. Instead I create real deadlines in which I will face some level of consequence for failing to meet, such as public embarrassment. One example of this might be joining a critique group where you are required to submit something for critique on a consistent schedule. No one wants to ready the same chapter they read last month with little or no improvement. You lack of progress with grow annoying very quickly. Things like this can be a very good motivator.

3. Learn the difference between a break and a reward: Everyone needs breaks. Your ability to think creatively, focus on the task and produce good writing wanes over time without small periods of rest. Everyone knows this. But don't let your self-directed breaks look more like the kind of activities you do when you've already completed a hard day's worth of work. What do breaks look like in a supervised work place? You go the bathroom, eat a small meal or snack, maybe take a very short walk or do a small amount of reading and then you are right back on the job.  This is what a break should look like. It should not look like an hour and a half on Facebook or Pinterest. These are the types of activities that should be used as awards for accomplishing a difficult task.  If you feel you need more time away from a stressful scene in your WIP than a short break will allow, make it the kind of break that counts. Go to a different, more enjoyable section of your WIP and work on that. This is the way to stay on task and get things done.

4. Choose imperfection over a stop in production: Don't let yourself get so stuck on getting the perfect writing or the perfect storyline that you end up doing nothing at all. This type of thinking does more than just waste time. It can erode your confidence to a point of impeding your ability to succeed or even progress. When I find myself in a state like this, I repeat the mantra to myself "something really is better than nothing". Get something down. Go back and edit it later when the pressure is not so high and you are able to think a little more clearly or can see it from a different perspective. It is amazing how well this technique works.

These are some of the strategies I use frequently to help finish my WIPs. What techniques have you found successful?

Don't give up. You can do it!

Set Goals Like You MEAN IT!

by Kasey Tross

I hate the word "resolution." Whenever I think of that word, I imagine someone putting one finger in the air, puffing out their chest, and with an obnoxiously authoritative voice announcing, "I resoooolve toooo eat healthier!" (or lose weight, exercise more, write more, be a nicer person, stop picking their nose, etc.)

And then they smile, put their finger down, and turn around and eat a cheeseburger.

I mean, really, what does it mean to "resolve" to do something? We're imperfect beings. Resolve is far too profound and serious a word for us fallible humans, especially as a yearly event.

So anyway, long ago I ditched the idea of New Years Resolutions and instead I create my goals for the upcoming year. Recently I got a boost in this department with a free webinar by Michael Hyatt in which he discussed the value of goals and the hallmarks of a good goal. It was nothing I hadn't heard before, but I definitely needed the reminder. So here it is for you too:

A good goal

is SPECIFIC

is CONCRETE/MEASURABLE

has a DEADLINE

So how do your goals stack up? Saying, "I resolve to lose weight" does not have the same power as saying, "My goal is to lose 20lbs by June 1st." When I decided I wanted to run the Monument Avenue 10k I knew that my deadline for being able to run 6.2 miles was March 28th. Which brings me to my next point...

Once you have a goal that is specific, concrete, and has a deadline,

MAKE AN ACTION PLAN

(break it down into bite-sized pieces)

Again, when I decided I my goal was to run the 10k on March 28th, and I had never even been able to run a mile without stopping, I knew that giving running a whirl for the first time on March 27th probably wouldn't give me stellar results. So I made a plan that included smaller goals: run 1 mile the first month, 2 the second, and so on. I broke those down into the even smaller goal that I wanted to run at least 3 times each week. By the time March 1st came around I could do 5 miles.

One of my goals this year is to have the first draft of my book finished by October 31st (deadline!) so I can NaNoWriMo my heart out on an novel I've been DYING to write. The current book exists, but it's in reaaaally rough shape (Grand-Canyon-sized plot holes, random characters that just drop out of sight completely halfway through the book, that sort of thing) so I need to tie up loose ends and polish it. And in order to do that, my smaller goal (action plan) is to rewrite one chapter per week. That is challenging, yet doable. 

So once you've set your goals and created an action plan, don't forget about these two more pieces of advice that will certainly ensure your success:

WRITE IT DOWN!

-BE ACCOUNTABLE-

Just the act of writing down your goals and posting them somewhere makes you feel accountable (after all, they're in WRITING!) but also snagging a buddy to act as an accountability partner for you is a great insurance policy for your success. 

So...anybody want to read a chapter of a book a week? ;-)

Some other goals of mine for the year:

1. Eat at least 10 servings of vegetables daily.

2. Read the Book of Mormon (again) by June 1st.

3. Submit at least 5 more stories to the Friend magazine by December 1st.

4. Read at least 20 books in 2016.

5. Make contact with each of my Visiting Teaching sisters every month.

Under a lot of my goals I have the breakdown; for example, for my Book of Mormon reading goal I noted beneath it "In order to do this I must read 3 pages or 1.5 chapters each day." For my 20 books goal I have written, "In order to do this I must read about 2 books per month." (I'm excited about that goal!) So clearly I'm going to have to develop some good daily and weekly habits to go along with my goals- it's all part of the process.

I hope these goal-setting reminders help you as much as they've helped me. May 2016 be a smashing success for you and your goals!

New Year's Revolutions

by Jewel Leann Williams

I don't make New Year's resolutions.

I almost fell off the couch watching a new (to me) episode of Phineas and Ferb wherein the "evil" villain, Dr. Doofenschmirtz, creates the "Resolution-Changer-inator" to change everyone's New Year's resolutions to "follow Heinz Doofenschmirtz, our new leader." He then starts to run off to take over City Hall (and the Tri-State Area, of course), but no one in the crowd follows him. He asks, "Why aren't you following me?" and a guy says,"C'mon, nobody ever keeps their New Years' resolutions" and they go back to dancing.

Of course this is owned by Disney. 

Yeah, that's me. I would've been totally safe in that crowd. No chance of helping Doof carry out his evil plan.

So, I don't even bother.

But, let me tell you what I do. I recommit to trying just a little harder. I see New Year's as a chance to remind myself to hit the refresh button on ongoing goals I do have. I can hear President Hinckley in my head:

May we go with determination to try a little harder to be a little better.  (General Conference, April 1995)

So, I'm going to dust myself off and keep marching, with a little more determination and spring in my step.

One goal, which I made in earnest a few months ago, is to stop swearing. I had an epiphany that was in no way related to the fireworks and the ball dropping, but more to the faces of my kids when I dropped a choice word at them (usually when I was angry).  I looked up "how to stop swearing" and found the old rubber-band-on-the-wrist-inator. I put it on, and snapped it when I said a bad word, and man, does it hurt. My swearing dropped to almost nothing almost immediately. I still think the words, though, but I am almost completely successful and not letting them out of my mouth. I can see myself slipping back into it very easily though, so I haven't quite retrained my brain yet.

So I'm going to continue with that goal, with that process.

Another is the soda thing. We all know it's terrible for us, but for me it's also a way to stay awake and alert at work. Sugar and caffeine--two of the 4 major food groups, right?

Saying "no soda" is a pipe dream. But, doctor is worried about me, so I am trying to cut it down as far as I can. Going to continue that process.

Scriptures. Gonna keep trying to read more and more meaningfully.

Prayers. Gonna keep trying to say them more often, and more meaningfully.

See the theme here? It's "gonna keep trying." I don't need a new year to tell me that's what I need to do, but it's nice to have the big glowing reminder every once in a while.

To take a page out of Dory's book, in the New Year, my "resolution" is:

http://theperksofbeingateengirl.tumblr.com/post/84208068319

 

Post 2000...

by Kasey Tross

Whoa! This is MMW's 

2000th post! 

Not all of them have been published, but many have, and each and every one represents effort and dedication from our MMWs. So here's to you ladies (and a gentleman or two)! :-) 

Kind of fitting that today I wanted to say a few words about goals. You see, I am a goal person. I just love me some big, juicy goals, and I especially love the feeling I get when I reach them.

This summer I set a goal to read the Book of Mormon by the time the kids start school again, which is two weeks from tomorrow. I put up a chart on the fridge with tiny squares for each chapter, and I have filled in each square as I've completed it. I knew I needed to do about 2 chapters per day to succeed, which seemed very doable to me. Of course, there were times I got behind- like the week before vacation when I was trying to get us ready to go and then the week we were on vacation- but I jumped back on the wagon when we got home and I increased my daily reading to catch up. I just love the feeling of coloring in those little squares, and I love how my daily immersion in the scriptures is bringing the Spirit into my life.

One thing I've learned over the years is that for me, goals need to be cumulative, rather than calendared. What does that mean? It means I set a deadline for myself to accomplish a task, and then I divide that task into manageable chunks to ensure I accomplish it by the deadline, rather than setting a goal to do something every day. I kind of stink at consistency, but when I see a deadline looming you'd better watch out because this MMW is gonna make it come heck or high water! Plus, there's always hope- if it's cumulative, even if I've been slacking I can still make it up (like the scripture reading) whereas if it's a goal to do something every day then as soon as I miss a day I have failed. 

Make sense? Good.

I've decided that's what I need to do with my writing. Rather than setting a goal to write or edit "x amount" of words or chapters each day, I'm going to set a goal to have a certain amount finished by a certain deadline. Last year my mom helped me by being my accountability partner- my goal was to write 3,000 words each week, and yes, most of those got written at 11pm on Saturday night.- but they did get written!

And, as in my scripture reading, a visual reminder like a chart is awesome. You might think it's kind of childish, but I just love that feeling of filling in another block and seeing that chart filling up, getting closer and closer to my goal. I think for my writing I will get creative and make a mock-up book cover for my WIP and put the chart on that. That way I will be able to see my progress as I go along and remind myself what I'm working for.

Keep in mind that goals aren't just for writing, and they aren't just for grownups. Recently my two middle girls have been having a tough time getting along so I sat down with them to create some simple goals to encourage them to mend their relationship. They decided they would each hug each other once per day, and they would each do 1 kind thing for each other each day. They haven't been perfect at it, but just the effort they've been making has already helped their relationship tremendously. 

Now that school is starting up again, what goals do you have for yourself? For your kids? Are you a chart nerd like me??

Resolutions V. Goals

I’ve completely given up on setting New Year’s resolutions.  Forget it!  I’m not going to participate in this annual tradition ever again.  Why not?  Because I’m an awful resolution-keeper.  Seriously, I’m the worst.  In fact, I’m so bad at keeping New Year’s resolutions that the end result is often the exact opposite of the resolution. 

2010:  Lose 20 lbs.  <Result: Gained 25 lbs. after eating leftover Christmas treats while filling out my resolution list.>

2011:  Plant a garden.  <Result:  Planter box accidently built over a fire ant nest.  All of my seedlings were used as ant food sources and underground birthing stations.  That, and my inability to water my young plants more than once per month, probably led to my green thumb shriveling and turning black.>

2012:  Learn to play the trombone.  <Result:  There is wisdom in learning an instrument when we’re young.  My over-reliance on the ‘Idiot’s Guide to Playing Brass Instruments’ as my personal tutor probably didn’t help my efforts.>

2013:  Cook dinner once per week.  <Started well (baked chicken, string bean casserole, dinner rolls, cake).  Lasted one week.  Now, my kids are back to ramen, cheese crisps, and pbj’s until mom gets home and starts a more balanced and nutritious dinner.>

2014:  Post to MMW Every-other Friday:  <Uhm…..>

So, I’ve decided to abandon the practice of making resolutions and to set goals instead.  What’s the difference, you ask? 

A resolution is something you intend to start or stop.  It’s myopic in nature; an issue is solved and one move’s on to the next issue; whereas, a goal, by definition, is expansive. 

A goal rewards a person for pointing one’s self towards achievement, then moving in the direction of success, and hopefully, finishing one’s expectations if possible.  The main difference is that there are micro-successes along the way, as if the journey were more important than the final accomplishment.

 

Thomas S. Monson, a latter-day Prophet of God, once gave some sage advice regarding three goals that can serve as a reliable framework for all other personal goals (Ensign, Oct. 2007):

1.      Study diligently.

2.      Pray earnestly.

3.      Serve willingly.

While these might seem a little abstract and endless in nature, I noticed that these three goals fit nicely over my previously mentioned resolutions.  Take, for example, my resolution in 2011 to have a garden. 

I did not take the time to do any real degree of study and research on preparing, building, planting, and caring for a proper garden.  I simply built a box, filled it with mulch and fertilizer, dropped a few seeds in, hoped for rain, and sat back and awaited my vegetable bounty to grow.  I should have been researching soil preparation for my region, consulted a planting/harvesting matrix for my area, and learned the glories of soaker hoses and proper weeding techniques. 

Next, I should make my garden a part of my personal and family prayer, that the Lord will bless our efforts, inspire us to correct errors, and to show gratitude for our bounties in whatever size and shape we might harvest them. 

Lastly, I did not serve my resolution to garden.  That might sound odd, but like serving a person or a righteous cause, there is a time allotment required.  In the case of my garden, I failed to give the appropriate amount of time to watering, weeding, and worrying over my tender starts.

 

Wow!  Those life-structure goals from President Monson can really work. 

So, for 2015, I’m setting goals instead of resolutions.  I’ll study more diligently what it will take to make the life improvements I hope for; I’ll pray hard for help in making those life improvements; and, I’ll serve more earnestly the people and causes that I should in order to show the Lord that my care for someone or something other than myself is worthy of His care for my hopes and dreams. 

Oh, and a fourth ‘goal’ while I’m at it:  Do a better job of listening to advice from prophets.

1000 Miles of First Steps

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -- Lao Tzu

Even the simplest journey feels like a thousand miles because I keep having to take the first step over and over again. --Jewel Leann Williams (Not as profound a saying. More of a whine).

Seriously, folks. Every time I set any sort of goal, I go a little ways, and then fall off the wagon, so to speak (no, my goal isn't to stop drinking).  I have to keep starting over.

As a kid, I wanted to read the Book of Mormon straight through. I memorized "I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents..." pretty quickly with all of my false starts.

It's the same as an adult. It seems like it's the same with every goal. My family needs to eat healthier and exercise more. We need to not watch so much TV and go to bed earlier. So, for a few weeks, we eat healthy food, we go for walks every night, and we make a rule that we only want to watch TV or movies on Friday night. My husband and I both lose weight, we feel great, and we actually feel like we get enough sleep (almost. I do have a seminary kid, after all).

Then, the new series of Doctor Who kicks off (or Bones, or NCIS, or NCIS Hunky Guys with Dreamy Eyes  Los Angeles) and we can't resist. I lose my motivation on making a weekly research project out of trying to buy fresh fruits and veggies on our budget, and go back to casseroles. We stay up too late one night, so we're too tired for the nightly walk the next night, and the TV magically turns on, and boom! We're back in our rut.

I know I'm not the only person who has this happen.

Here's my (possibly temporary) triumph. I have been staying up really early in the morning to get things done. My son gets up at 4 am to get ready for seminary, and it's one of my jobs to make sure he actually GETS UP at 4. I had been going back to sleep, and then either waking up later if it was my day to carpool the kids from seminary to school, or just staying asleep.  So, I decided that I needed to just stay up, to steal some moments to do my scripture studying, morning prayers, and..... WRITING!! Oh, the rapture I felt at putting words on paper again was worth the agony of dragging my sore, tired, protesting body out of my bed.

Of course, this was Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.... and then Thursday came along. I couldn't do it. I slept in. I slept in ALOT. I also felt like crap all day after I got up--not any less tired, and like a doofus for not keeping up with a goal, AGAIN.

But you know what, on Friday, I had the battle with myself that eventually I hope I won't have to have every single morning.  I told myself that even if I slept more, I would still be tired, but that I needed to have that time to be able to study the Lord's words, to have a conversation with him, and yes, to exercise my mind. I dragged myself out of bed--okay. I'll be honest. I went back to sleep. But Heavenly Father helped me out by sending a preschooler to climb in with me, which kept me awake long enough to decide to get up. So, up I got.

The false starts are okay. I'm not a failure because I keep having to begin again. Actually, I think that's kind of what life is about. Little by little we overcome things--but sometimes it takes so long to root those things out of our lives and replace them with better things, that we feel like we aren't progressing quickly enough. It's okay. That is what the Atonement is for--as long as we keep on starting over, we will overcome, with the Savior's help. Every time we start, we get that much closer.

As a writer, I have to forgive myself as well for all the false starts. My creative soul gets really, really angry with me for not working on the art of expression. But the same thing applies. My muse comes back whenever I ask. Every time I start working on something, I get that much closer to doing it the way I really need and want to.

It's the same for all of us. So I want to encourage you--whether it be in your writing, or just in life in general. Please don't stop starting over. Even if it's the ten millionth time and you know that you'll just fall again, just start. This may be the time that you learn what you need to and you're able to overcome and move onward and upward. Or, maybe it's not. But that means that you're one more false start closer to the time that you DO overcome.

We always say that it's more important that you get up and keep trying, than it is that you fell in the first place. It sounds trite, but it's true. Sometimes, it really is the journey. Sometimes it really is the climb that makes the difference.

Keep going! Step by step, first step by first step, you'll get where you need to go. I know you can do it!

Planting Some Seeds

by Becky Porter

My kids go back to school this week which is insane even by Arizona standards.  

I know some amazing moms who get all dewy-eyed as they send their children off to the first day of school.  In fact, I know some moms who would be a wreck if they were in my situation: ALL FIVE of my kids will be in school for the first time ever!!  My youngest (I'm not allowed to call him "my baby") will be starting kindergarten!

Now, before you pull out a hankie and cue up the tears, I have to inject a dose of reality.  Sorry.  I adore my children.  Really.  I happen to know that they are some of the most amazing kids to grace the face of this earth.  But, I am not crying.  Oh no.  Friends, I am dancing!  I am absolutely giddy!  Think of all the wonderful things I can do for the three hours of morning kindergarten!  If you can't come up with any ideas, I can help you out there.

I have always loved the first day of the school year, even when I was a kid.  There's a line from that Meg Ryan movie, "You've Got Mail", floating through my head--something about a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils.  I adore office supplies.  I have a strange compulsion to buy colored binder clips, patterned file folders, and dozens of composition notebooks every summer.  I long to grab everything in those tantalizing stationery aisles and toss them into my overflowing red cart (ahem; don't judge my Target addiction).

But the main reason I love a new school year is because it signifies a fresh start, a clean slate.  It is the symbolism of a fresh pack of crayons and a blank book that speaks to me.  And so, I set goals in August or September.  I make lists and more lists (I have to do something with my cute new notepads and pens!) and make grandiose plans.  Too often, I lose my lists and my enthusiasm about the same time which is, oh, approximately two weeks after I start working on my goals.

As I was flipping through my August issue of the Ensign magazine, I read an awesome article by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf that made me ponder what I can do differently this year.  He states, 

"Just as earthly seeds require effort and patience, so do many of the blessings of heaven.  We cannot put our religion on a shelf and expect to harvest spiritual blessings. . . . God's answers to our prayers do not always come immediately--sometimes they do not appear to come at all--but God knows what is best for His children. . . .our goal and great joy is to walk in the footsteps of our Master and Savior and to live good and refined lives so that the promised and precious harvest of God's priceless blessings can be ours."

Patience.  There's something I've spent a long time not having.  But I'm working on it.  And this time as I set my goals, I'll be doing more of it on my knees seeking the guidance of my Savior so that I can become the person He needs me to be.  He created me for a purpose.  He is the Master Gardener.  It is my job to put down roots and bloom.

*What seeds are you planting?  Any goals you can share with us?* 

My Post About Not Much- But it comes with a WRITING SPRINT!

I had a whole, long, nicely written post for today, and I was getting ready to put it up and I just...didn’t. I don’t know why, it just didn’t feel like the right post. Go figure.

So now I am left with...not much.

Remember those goals I set about a month ago? Well, I am still slogggging through that book, The Writer’s Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers. It’s not that it’s boring, it just has a lot of big words and heavy concepts and requires me to digest each sentence with intense focus and that’s hard to do when you have 4 kids home for the summer.

The good news is that the book is giving me great insight into my WIP. I’ve realized that the first draft was just the skeleton of my story with some added fluff. Now it’s time to remove the fluff and add a heart, lungs, and circulatory system. It needs guts. And they’re coming, one juicy organ at a time.

Yeah, that was gross. Sorry. Did I mention that I had a whole other nicely written post for today?

Ahem. Anyway, the bad news is that I can’t watch a movie or read a book now without my mind dissecting the story elements. Ooh, there’s our hero. I think that guy is a Threshold Guardian. Aha! He just refused the Call to Adventure. Entering the Special World...okay, we’re approaching the Inner Cave. Is that person a Shadow? Ooh, I think I just caught some symbolism there...that guy is definitely a Mentor.

You get the idea. Like I said, great for fleshing out my own story, not so much for sitting and enjoying a Friday night movie.

So, I am eager to finish off this book because:

1. I won’t let myself read any other books (even FUN ones!) until I am done. Must. stay. focused.

2. I won’t let myself dive back into my manuscript again until I’m finished. Because chances are good that if I did that a) I would get distracted and not finish reading the book or b) I would still be reading the book and get 5 more epiphanies about my WIP and have to go back and rewrite AGAIN. Because I have an epiphany about once every 3 pages I read in this thing.

Okay, with that said,

LET’S HAVE A WRITING SPRINT!

"But wait," you say, "I thought you just said you weren’t working on your MS until you finished that crazy book?"

Indeed reader, you are correct. But I do have a good idea about the general direction I want to take the story now and I need to spend some time tweaking my outline. I go running every morning and my brain goes even faster than my feet (like 5 miles an hour instead of 4) coming up with new ideas for my story and I need to get this stuff out of my head!

So meet me here, tonight, at 9pm EST (that’s 7pm MST, 8pm CST). I know it’s a bit early for some of you, but do your FHE early and then unload the kids on the hubby or put them in front of a movie and come join me! We’ll write as much and as fast as we can and post our progress (either in word count or, in my case, just a general summary of what we’ve accomplished writing-wise) every 15 minutes. It’ll be fun! We’ll cheer each other on! We’ll celebrate our awesomeness and pat ourselves on the back for being amazing!

WOOHOO!

See you tonight.

I haven’t been writing.

I have a confession to make.

(Yes, another one. My computer screen might as well be framed in wood and have a little decorative grate over it with all the confessions I make around here. Seriously.)

I haven’t been writing.

At least not real, stretching-myself-and-reaching-for-my-goals writing, anyway. Just the obligatory blog posts and magazine articles that I am committed to producing.

Meanwhile, the writing conference I went to last year is looming on my calendar for this October, and I vaguely remember promising myself, in that blissful, post-writing-conference dream-filled honeymoon period, that I would have my MS finished and ready to go this year.

*shifts weight from one foot to the other and looks down, trying to avoid eye contact*

Well, it’s not. It’s...it’s a hot mess.

But. I have decided that it’s time to pick myself up. Mostly because I didn’t know what to write for a post today and when I visited my “post ideas” file on my computer the words “Summer Goals” were written there. So I said, “Why not? Let’s make some Summer Goals!”

Yes, let’s!

Okay, so I’ve decided I’ll do this in baby steps and break it down week by week.

Week 1: Finish reading the book on story crafting that caused me to rethink my whole manuscript in the first place. (I was so startled and flustered by that development that I shoved the book in a drawer and haven’t touched it since. I think it’s time to face my fears.)

Week 2: Rewrite my outline to reflect changes I want to make. 

So, since I post every other week, we’ll start with those and see how it goes. I would really love some company on this, guys, so if anybody wants to jump in and set some Summer Goals, post them below! I’ll keep checking in on Facebook during the week and we can keep each other accountable. As the weeks (and my goals) progress I’ll throw some writing sprints in the mix too. Because those are super fun. :-)

C’mon, you know you want to get in on this! What is your writing goal for this week?

The Thrill of Victory, the Agony of Defeat

by Mare Ball from ADVENTURES IN THE BALLPARK 

Women's Olympic ice skating finals were televised last night.  I have to say, I'm a lazy viewer when it comes to the winter Olympics.  The only thing I'm interested in is the ice skating.  I don't dismiss the work and talent of the speed skater and skiers, I just love the ice skating.  

I love the American ladies, of course, but I was rooting for the Italian, Carolina Kostner.  She was so lovely in the short program, and her outfit was swooshy and elegant.  I know they don't score costumes, but that's a factor in my mind.  I'm a romantic when it comes athletes swirling across the ice - the women should be sparkly and flowy and dewy. 

Carolina Kostner (http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=carolina+kostner.com)

Anyhoo... Kostner took the bronze, which is great.  ANY medal in the Olympics should be celebrated.  The athletes probably don't share that exact sentiment, but I'm proud of bronze, silver, and gold winners alike.  To even GET to the Olympics - that feat is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  Gracie Gold, our best American hopeful, came in fourth.  I'm proud of her too.  They're all wonderful athletes.  It takes everything out of me just to get to the gym three times a week. 

I did catch the last ten minutes of the women's hockey final - U.S. vs. Canada.  The game went into overtime, and the Canadians won.  I don't begrudge them the gold, they played hard, but the faces of the U.S. players were heart-breaking.  The medal ceremony was long - they read the names of every player from all three medaling teams - and the cameras stayed with the U.S. team for much of the time.

These girls were crestfallen.  Their eyes were so sad, some were teary, although no one sobbed openly.  Every one of them was grieving.  I have never seen such bereft faces outside a funeral.  Once commenter remarked that hockey is the only winter event in which you have to lose to get the silver. 

Members of the US team after their loss
http://sports.yahoo.com/photos/tragic-faces-of-silver-women-s-u-s-hockey-1392931581

The Olympic games really do highlight the ups and downs of chasing a dream.  Gold medal winners are ecstatic; non-golders are crushed, at least temporarily. 

It's kind of like writing.  I've felt ecstatic and crushed more than once - often about the same piece of work.  I give my everything, sometimes for years, to something, and then...nobody wants it.  Back to the drawing board.  Or the computer.  Or the ice rink.  I think winning and losing must feel the same to every heart.

I felt a bit like a winner this week when Choose to Write was released and available for purchase.  When my copy arrived, and I saw my name in print, the very first story in the book...I was very humbled and grateful.  It so warms the heart to be recognized.  Thank you, MMW gals for giving me that opportunity.

I'm back to work this week on my book and my book proposal.  I hope there's another win around the corner, but I know I still have a lot of work to do.  It might be another four years before I see success (not unlike some of the 2014 Olympians.) 

The Olympic games are truly an inspiration for anyone who's working hard to fulfill a dream.  Be it on the world stage, or here in my little central Florida loft.  For every athlete who made it to Sochi, thank you.

Your Name In Lights!!!

I wanted to share some more of the great tips I received last week during Kerri Nelson's "Book Factory" workshop. Last time I talked about breaking your day down into 15 minute increments. The next step is GOAL SETTING.

Wait...I hear the groaning. Stop it right now. Let me explain....

Okay. Look. I DETEST setting goals. Why? because I NEVER, EVER, EVER achieve them. I waffle and wiffle and procrastinate. And never succeed. But I still make the goals. I torture myself because I need to remember that having a dream and taking the steps to bring that dream to fruition is part of the creative process. It's part of the God given talent we all have to create. To make something happen we have to be able to see what the end result is, right?

Do you think during the creation God just waved a hand in the direction of the earth and said, "Oh yeah, I was thinking a few animals might be nice"? Of course not. I'm sure He took as much time as He needed to perfect each aspect of of each animal before moving on. Time to measure and review and troubleshoot. Just like we have to do with our writing.

So No. 1 in Kerri's goal setting step is the "big picture goal". What is the end result you are reaching for? And not just finish a book. Or find an agent. Or sell a book. What is the impossible dream you want so bad you can taste it?

What's mine, you ask? (Deep breath.) Okay, here goes. I would like to see my work be as popular as Twilight. There, I said it. (Blush.)

I put up a picture of the cover of Twilight with my goal written on the top on my bathroom mirror, like Kerri suggested. It's to remind myself daily why I'm doing this crazy thing, and to boost my flagging spirits when the road gets bumpy.

So take a minute today and think hard about what your ultimate goal is. Do you want to see your book made into a movie? Do you want to have a whole shelf in Barnes and Noble that has book after book on it with your name on the spine? Do you want people to build a theme park based on your books? Dream the impossible...it just might happen. Besides, without those dreams brightening the heavens of our lives, existence would be awfully dreary, don't you think?

The New Year

Wow, I am flabbergasted at how fast this year has gone. I remember it went by at snail's pace when I was still in high school. After I graduated, that's when I realized that the world spun a whole lot faster than I could've ever imagined.

I decided to do some research on the history of the new year and its celebration. I was not pleased with what I found. It has to do with an ancient pagan holiday, Julius Caesar, later on an anti-Jewish campaign among other things . . . *Sigh.

I was actually hoping on something spiritual, uplifting, inspiring. The only way I think I can get all those elements down is to pray.

Bringing in the new year is very personal. It is the time when many of us set goals for bettering ourselves. A fresh start like a fresh day.

Though Easter is the celebration of life, Christ's resurrection, I don't think it would be wrong to liken Christ's atonement to the new year. The Atonement is a fresh start. It is a chance for us to repent of our sins. To shed the darkness from our spirits. To look to the future with hope and love and happiness.

I feel we should think of the same thoughts that cross our minds during Sacrament Meeting (a time to review our faults the past week and how we could improve upon them). These are mine every Sunday, depending on my struggles as I think to renew my baptismal covenants: I will practice better patience with my children, I will do my best to NOT suppress a generous thought, I will work harder on reading my scriptures on non-school days . . .

The most desired thing is to be charitable. Anything you can think of that reaches out to others is charitable. Saying hi to someone in church, especially someone you don't talk to on a normal basis. Sitting by someone you never had before in Relief Society or Priesthood (for our fellow brothers who read MMW), putting yourself on the substitute list for the Primary, volunteering in cleaning out your ward house, volunteering in school for your kids--if you are a grandparent, I don't think the school will turn you away. Bringing in someone's garbage can after pick up day. Smiling at someone. Making your child's bed as a surprise.

To throw in a few writing aspects maybe dedication to helping others with their manuscripts, query letters and/or synopsis with total honesty? Being a mentor? Reaching out to aspiring writers and help them understand that there is always hope in becoming published?

Going out of our comfort zones is one of the hardest things I know any one of us can do, but that is what being charitable is all about--if we are complacent in our lives, we need to reevaluate it.

This one of my favorite quotes by Souza:

DANCE--as if no one is watching you,
LOVE--as though you have never been hurt before,
SING--as though no one can hear you,
LIVE--as though heaven is on earth.


What are your goals for the year 2010? I would love to hear them!