Sometimes It's Not You, It's Them

By Jewel Leann Williams

Statement heard in local American Night Writers Association chapter meeting (paraphrased):

“I’ve written a book, I pitched it, and it was accepted by XYZ publishing house. The editor had big plans, and then strangely rolled everything back and rejected it. I’ve been completely revising it and turning it into a completely different book. I guess my story didn’t have much to offer anyone.”

Let me tell you about the book this author is speaking of.  It is an inspirational memoir about her daughter and their experiences through a leukemia scare. 

I haven’t read the story, and I don’t know if it needs revision for the usual things we all have to revise, revise, revise in our stories. But one thing I can tell you, and I did tell her, is this:

OF COURSE YOUR STORY HAS SOMETHING TO OFFER!!

As a mom, I don’t have to have a child with leukemia to be inspired by another mother’s journey in that space.  I have other trials with my children and can gain insight and inspiration from what she went through.

Sometimes, it’s not YOU, it’s THEM.

Editors, publishers, agents are people. What’s worse, BUSINESS people. They have goals, agendas, business models—and each of them has a different one.  There are as many reasons for a rejection as there are rejections. 

I get it. I had a book I worked super hard on. I’d finished it, pitched it, got a “pages request” and sent it to not just the agent requesting, but every agent I could research who might be interested.  I thought it was ready, and it was rejected (a lot). It is one of the hardest things for me to pick that back up and work on it. But it’s a worthwhile project. The story is still, well, awesome, it has a great voice (says more than one of the rejectors), it just needs work. It doesn’t need the whole thing changed—just lots of polish. But man! It is HARD to put more blood, sweat, and tears into that project when my hopes had been so high, and then been smashed like a clam on a rock.

Mid nineteenth-century depiction of Josephine fainting after being told by Napoleon he will decree a divorce (to seek a male heir and royal alliance) Artist: Bosselman - Chasselat Public Domain in US (Public Domain in source country before 1996; past 75 years from artist's death)

But hear me now and believe me later (bonus if you know that reference):

Just because your book was rejected, does not mean that you need to change it into something different. What you need to do is:

1. Consider the source and the content of the rejection. Sometimes it’s more about timing, marketing, and publishing trends than it is about the story itself.  Did you pitch a self-help book to an agent who only represents fiction? Or to an agent with a full list of authors in your genre?
2. Realize that much of what is accepted and rejected depends on personal taste.  An agent or editor has to believe in your book to properly represent it. The publishing world is highly competitive for agents as well. Sometimes it just isn’t something that strikes their fancy, but there will be someone else out there who won’t be able to resist what you’re offering.
3. Did you query too soon?  This was where my eager little self went wrong. I finished a book, loved it, and like an ugly baby with a doting mother, I thought it was beautiful and perfect.  Beautiful it is, but perfect—not by far. I should have gone through some real edits, beta readers, more edits, etc. and polished it more.  Make sure that what you are presenting is the best you can make it, and that you have had feedback and critiques to help you polish your product.
4. PRAY about the feedback you receive. You have every right to ask for guidance. Don’t change things because some cranky editor who doesn’t like family stories or things that mention God or books with a happy ending (or a sad one, or one with puppies… etc. ad nauseum). Take the criticism, turn it over in your hands, consider it, and pray about it. You’ll know what needs to happen.

Here’s the thing.  I want you to remember this above all else.

Heavenly Father gave YOU the talent and desire to write. He has a purpose for blessing/cursing you with the need to express yourself with words.

He gave you that talent to bless His children.

You may not think that what you have to offer is anything special. But if you wrote it with the inspiration of our Heavenly Father, then you can rest assured that it is special and it does have something to offer the world. As such, you also need to include him in polishing your book, because just as He can transform people, He can guide you to transform your words into what He would have them be.

He will let you know what needs to happen, whether it is not to change a thing, to edit, to rework the whole thing, or to set it aside in a folder marked “Things I Wrote to Hone My Craft.” Or any myriad of other things. You just have to ask the Guy Who Really Knows.

Just remember—

Sometimes, it’s really not you, it’s them. 

New Year's Revolutions

by Jewel Leann Williams

I don't make New Year's resolutions.

I almost fell off the couch watching a new (to me) episode of Phineas and Ferb wherein the "evil" villain, Dr. Doofenschmirtz, creates the "Resolution-Changer-inator" to change everyone's New Year's resolutions to "follow Heinz Doofenschmirtz, our new leader." He then starts to run off to take over City Hall (and the Tri-State Area, of course), but no one in the crowd follows him. He asks, "Why aren't you following me?" and a guy says,"C'mon, nobody ever keeps their New Years' resolutions" and they go back to dancing.

Of course this is owned by Disney. 

Yeah, that's me. I would've been totally safe in that crowd. No chance of helping Doof carry out his evil plan.

So, I don't even bother.

But, let me tell you what I do. I recommit to trying just a little harder. I see New Year's as a chance to remind myself to hit the refresh button on ongoing goals I do have. I can hear President Hinckley in my head:

May we go with determination to try a little harder to be a little better.  (General Conference, April 1995)

So, I'm going to dust myself off and keep marching, with a little more determination and spring in my step.

One goal, which I made in earnest a few months ago, is to stop swearing. I had an epiphany that was in no way related to the fireworks and the ball dropping, but more to the faces of my kids when I dropped a choice word at them (usually when I was angry).  I looked up "how to stop swearing" and found the old rubber-band-on-the-wrist-inator. I put it on, and snapped it when I said a bad word, and man, does it hurt. My swearing dropped to almost nothing almost immediately. I still think the words, though, but I am almost completely successful and not letting them out of my mouth. I can see myself slipping back into it very easily though, so I haven't quite retrained my brain yet.

So I'm going to continue with that goal, with that process.

Another is the soda thing. We all know it's terrible for us, but for me it's also a way to stay awake and alert at work. Sugar and caffeine--two of the 4 major food groups, right?

Saying "no soda" is a pipe dream. But, doctor is worried about me, so I am trying to cut it down as far as I can. Going to continue that process.

Scriptures. Gonna keep trying to read more and more meaningfully.

Prayers. Gonna keep trying to say them more often, and more meaningfully.

See the theme here? It's "gonna keep trying." I don't need a new year to tell me that's what I need to do, but it's nice to have the big glowing reminder every once in a while.

To take a page out of Dory's book, in the New Year, my "resolution" is:

http://theperksofbeingateengirl.tumblr.com/post/84208068319

 

The Parable of the Fly

By Lacey Gunter

My husband is a fresh air junky.  He has a very difficult time existing without a lot of outside doors and windows being open.  As such, we usually have a constant influx of flies in our house for all but the coldest months.  This gives me a lot of time to observe their behavior.

It never ceases to amaze me how many times a fly can ram full force into a light bulb thinking maybe this time it will work.  One can admire these flies for their persistence, but is still doesn't get them to where they want to be.

Not every fly is like this. Some go exploring, albeit haphazardly, but exploring none the less. Usually, these are the flies that make it out.  One might try to argue that these flies just gave up on their goal and only came upon a working solution by chance.  But I would argue their persistence was the same, it was their methods that differed, which in the end let to success.

What can we learn from these two types of flies? One has laser focus and drives continually forward on what he believes to be the right path. Yet time and time again he fails and refuses to broaden his perspective. The other one appears to wander, in what seems to the onlooker to be an aimless pattern, but his strategy leads to success more often than not.

This is a scenario I come across sometimes in statistics and probability.  What seems to be the intuitive best choice can actually end up giving you sub-par results.

Often in our writing and our parenting we can get stuck thinking there is a certain correct way of doing things.  Even though the way has yet to achieve the results we believe it should be achieving, we tell ourselves that if we just keep doing it, eventually it will work out the way we want it to.  It may be our writing process, the way we choose to discipline a child or even a long list of jobs or activities we believe we have to maintain.  We keep treading this same path, not because it has made us a better writer or a better mother, but because we know it and are more comfortable sticking with what we already know.  We then reassure ourselves by saying success only comes through persistence.
 
Well ladies, persistence is a good thing, but only when it is coupled with wisdom and learning.   Otherwise, we are just ramming our heads into the light over and over and over again.  We need to also be willing to step back and ask, is there something I can learn and improve upon from this experience?  Is there another perspective I can take that will help me see the bigger picture? This may require us to seek direction through inspiration, which to the naive onlooker may look like aimless wandering. But with the Master as our guide, the person whose perspective is eternal, we kind find the correct path to follow. It will still require persistence. We may have to travel through many different doorways and rooms. But at least in the end we will find our way out.