Remembrance and Joy

by Jewel Leann Williams

Fifteen years ago, I was a Communications Operator for a police department (that's fancy talk for "911 operator/police dispatcher). I was at the end of my shift, and an employee from another area in the department came in and said "A plane has just hit one of the Twin Towers." We turned the radio up to hear this sad, interesting piece of news. Then a second plane hit. 

I started answering 911 calls from people freaking out about what was happening on the other side of the country. My department was making preparations "just in case" this was just the beginning of something worse, something nationwide. We didn't really know what we could do, but we made our city as secure as we could at that moment.

Shock, fear, anger---as I finally made it home, hours after my shift was supposed to end, and sat glued to the TV as the towers fell. Knowing that cops and firefighters were sacrificing their lives in that moment, knowing that dispatchers were hearing their friends' last words, their cries for help, their silences..... I couldn't stop shaking. My heart broke for the victims, and broke again for the public safety family that I belonged to.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me, a little girl with blue eyes and shiny white-blond angel hair was joining our crazy world. Her parents named her Joy and a truer name was never given. I got to take my place as her Mom when she was 5 years old and from that moment, 9/11 became about something more than loss and shock and even patriotism, it also became about Joy, about hope, life, love, and did I mention JOY?

When I think about the horror that entered our world and took its place in our collective consciousness that terrible morning, I can't help but think about the gift that was given as well. I do not think that Joy's personality and her spirit were by chance. Being around her and experiencing her is the polar opposite of the horrible emotions of the other part of September 11th, 2001. 

Those who know my sweet Joy know that she was truly a gift given to a world that had "stopped turning" to quote the song. Her smile, her care and concern for all she meets, her amazing capacity to show love, and the literal joy that just oozes out of her, are all gifts to us from God, and I am so grateful that I get to be her Mom.

On September 11th of every year, I cry, I remember, and I mourn. But at the same time, I celebrate the life of the young woman I believe was sent to balance that sadness with a little joy of her own.  I also say a prayer of gratitude for this reminder from our Heavenly Father that He will not leave us comfortless. He is ever mindful of His children and even in the midst of tragedy, there is always

I'm On Active Duty

I slept and dreamt that life was Joy
I woke and saw that life was Duty
I acted, and behold, Duty was Joy

- Rabindranath Tagore

During my undergrad I chose quite a few political science classes that dealt with international development. I was fascinated with underdevelopment – why some countries were so poor while others were so wealthy. I really loved learning about this and loved meeting other students who were equally concerned with international social and economic issues. I remember one guy named Mitchell who wanted to farm onions in India when he finished his degree because he was disgusted with our greedy, indulgent North American capitalist system. His parents once returned from a vacation in Mexico and when they went to show him their pictures he mocked “That isn’t Mexico! You guys didn’t go to MEXICO, you went to some American resort that doesn’t even come close to representing what real life in Mexico is…..” He was passionate.
I too wanted to make a difference and my interest in humanitarian work grew….but then my view kind of shifted. At the end of my degree, after all I had read and heard my conclusion was this: The world doesn’t need big heroes as much as it needs needs good citizens, good mothers, good fathers, good aunts and uncles, good grandparents. People who live decent lives and serve their families, neighbours and communities. I’m not saying humanitarian work isn’t important, I just really think there would be so much less of it to do if every one offered their humble contribution of love and duty. I gave up my dream of being a Mother Theresa for being a Mom and I genuinely feel that my offering is just as noble.