Sometimes It's Not You, It's Them

By Jewel Leann Williams

Statement heard in local American Night Writers Association chapter meeting (paraphrased):

“I’ve written a book, I pitched it, and it was accepted by XYZ publishing house. The editor had big plans, and then strangely rolled everything back and rejected it. I’ve been completely revising it and turning it into a completely different book. I guess my story didn’t have much to offer anyone.”

Let me tell you about the book this author is speaking of.  It is an inspirational memoir about her daughter and their experiences through a leukemia scare. 

I haven’t read the story, and I don’t know if it needs revision for the usual things we all have to revise, revise, revise in our stories. But one thing I can tell you, and I did tell her, is this:

OF COURSE YOUR STORY HAS SOMETHING TO OFFER!!

As a mom, I don’t have to have a child with leukemia to be inspired by another mother’s journey in that space.  I have other trials with my children and can gain insight and inspiration from what she went through.

Sometimes, it’s not YOU, it’s THEM.

Editors, publishers, agents are people. What’s worse, BUSINESS people. They have goals, agendas, business models—and each of them has a different one.  There are as many reasons for a rejection as there are rejections. 

I get it. I had a book I worked super hard on. I’d finished it, pitched it, got a “pages request” and sent it to not just the agent requesting, but every agent I could research who might be interested.  I thought it was ready, and it was rejected (a lot). It is one of the hardest things for me to pick that back up and work on it. But it’s a worthwhile project. The story is still, well, awesome, it has a great voice (says more than one of the rejectors), it just needs work. It doesn’t need the whole thing changed—just lots of polish. But man! It is HARD to put more blood, sweat, and tears into that project when my hopes had been so high, and then been smashed like a clam on a rock.

Mid nineteenth-century depiction of Josephine fainting after being told by Napoleon he will decree a divorce (to seek a male heir and royal alliance) Artist: Bosselman - Chasselat Public Domain in US (Public Domain in source country before 1996; past 75 years from artist's death)

But hear me now and believe me later (bonus if you know that reference):

Just because your book was rejected, does not mean that you need to change it into something different. What you need to do is:

1. Consider the source and the content of the rejection. Sometimes it’s more about timing, marketing, and publishing trends than it is about the story itself.  Did you pitch a self-help book to an agent who only represents fiction? Or to an agent with a full list of authors in your genre?
2. Realize that much of what is accepted and rejected depends on personal taste.  An agent or editor has to believe in your book to properly represent it. The publishing world is highly competitive for agents as well. Sometimes it just isn’t something that strikes their fancy, but there will be someone else out there who won’t be able to resist what you’re offering.
3. Did you query too soon?  This was where my eager little self went wrong. I finished a book, loved it, and like an ugly baby with a doting mother, I thought it was beautiful and perfect.  Beautiful it is, but perfect—not by far. I should have gone through some real edits, beta readers, more edits, etc. and polished it more.  Make sure that what you are presenting is the best you can make it, and that you have had feedback and critiques to help you polish your product.
4. PRAY about the feedback you receive. You have every right to ask for guidance. Don’t change things because some cranky editor who doesn’t like family stories or things that mention God or books with a happy ending (or a sad one, or one with puppies… etc. ad nauseum). Take the criticism, turn it over in your hands, consider it, and pray about it. You’ll know what needs to happen.

Here’s the thing.  I want you to remember this above all else.

Heavenly Father gave YOU the talent and desire to write. He has a purpose for blessing/cursing you with the need to express yourself with words.

He gave you that talent to bless His children.

You may not think that what you have to offer is anything special. But if you wrote it with the inspiration of our Heavenly Father, then you can rest assured that it is special and it does have something to offer the world. As such, you also need to include him in polishing your book, because just as He can transform people, He can guide you to transform your words into what He would have them be.

He will let you know what needs to happen, whether it is not to change a thing, to edit, to rework the whole thing, or to set it aside in a folder marked “Things I Wrote to Hone My Craft.” Or any myriad of other things. You just have to ask the Guy Who Really Knows.

Just remember—

Sometimes, it’s really not you, it’s them. 

The Cross

by Mare Ball at ADVENTURES IN THE BALLPARK

Today is Good Friday.

As a kid, I thought this was a horrible name for the day Christ suffered and died.  As an adult, I came to the deeper understanding that it's a good day for me, as Christ's sacrifice set me free.  Free from my flawed, selfish heart that, left on its own, takes me on a path of arrogance and self-service.  A heart that would deceive me daily, seducing me to believe I am my own god.

So, today is a good day for the human race.  We can all be free, if we so choose.

The cross can be a sign of unspeakable torture.  It can also be a symbol of victory, because that crude structure of planked wood did not keep the Lord down.  It was not the final word.  The story ends with an empty tomb, wrappings left behind, Christ crushing sin and the grave.

For me, the Easter story is wrapped up in a warped little wooden cross that was carved by a friend of my daughter's.

It's designed to fit in the fingers of my hand.

It's a simple prayer tool that is lightweight and smooth.  I went to sleep holding it last night, praying about all kinds of things.  It reminds of Christ's sacrifice, His victory, His sovereignty, my freedom, my love for Him, His love for me, and every other blessing/worry in my life.

Sometimes I grip it harder than others.

It still fits. 

Scripture tells us that God holds us in the palm of His (mighty) hand.  I like thinking I'm holding my faith in all its confusion and wonder and gratitude in mine.

I love this little cross.  By itself, it looks like it's dancing, head to the side, arms flung wide.  This reminds me that someday we will dancing on streets of gold. 

My prayer for everyone this weekend is that Christ will reveal Himself to you in a new way, that your faith will be renewed, or ignited for the first time.  Easter is a day of rejoicing, because it reminds us the suffering is not the end of the story.

Do you have any tools that help you pray/grow closer to God?

SEEK, ASK & KNOCK!

       Our lesson both in Sunday school and Relief Society seemed to send us the same message today.  It always amazes me when this happens, because I know that this means that it is an important one.  It's just like when you are searching for an answer and there seems to be the same message coming from different sources, or in different ways.  For me, this usually means that I am not really listening, or that I don't want to hear the answer Heavenly Father is trying to give me... that's the stubborn genes that my parents argue over which side it comes from.

        A very interesting thing happened when I contemplated what to write about today.  I was so at a loss as to where to start.  I found all kinds of doubts start to enter my head, as I'm sure everyone has experienced at some point.  So many thoughts ran through my head, but nothing felt right.  I almost gave up!  (pathetic I know!)  But then I went to read my scriptures for the evening, and there was my answer!

D&C 88:63
"Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."

          I cannot even begin to express what this scripture meant to me, and not just because I knew what I was to write.  I feel that this message is something that we all need to remember.  Whether you are ambitious and talented like beautiful Kasey, and so many of our MMWs are, in writing a book, or just like me hoping to survive her daily single-mommy-hood and maybe inspire someone along the way.  It is important that we remember to SEEK, ASK & KNOCK.  He's waiting for us to draw near unto him so that he can draw near to us.  I'll tell you that one of the greatest ways to do this is how I was reminded, and that is through searching the scriptures.  It amazes me so, to see that when we do, the Heavens open up, minds are enlightened and prayers are answered!  Here are just a few thoughts from today that I wanted to share with you;

1. Remember that prayers are not answered every time or in the way that we think.  Sometimes our prayer being answered is an unanswered one.  The majority of the time we are going to our Heavenly Father because we don't know what is best for us, and need his direction.  This means that we need to accept the answer he 'gives'.

2. Prayers are not answered the same way for every person.  We are all so very different, and therefore cannot expect our answers from God to come the same way either.  In fact, The Lord needs us to be different in this way so that we can bring to pass his purposes and serve ALL of his children.

3. When we seek for answers to prayers, we cannot allow our emotions to rule us.  Emotions have its place, as it is often the reason we are brought to our knees.  But if we allow it to consume us it can not only cloud our minds as we ask our questions, but it can prevent us from receiving the true answer we need.  We must deal with the emotions best we can, and do our best to approach this process as logical as we can.  It does not mean devoid of emotion, but being in control of them.

           There are so many other aspects and ideas on this one, and this subject is so much greater that my few thoughts.  But I hope that it got you thinking, and I'd love to hear any you have to add!

Remember-----> SEEK, ASK & KNOCK!  <3   Have a fabulous week!

Ere You Left Your Room This Morning

It is so easy to fall into a routine without prayer. Well, at least for me. I wake up in the morning to the sound of my baby crying...or laughing in in her crib. My son wakes up. I change the baby's diaper. I feed my children cereal and fruit. Well, the cereal part. The fruit part takes a little more encouragement. We go on a walk, at which some point my son stops his bike and refuses to go on. (Or he has a meltdown over something important. Today it was over air conditioning vents.) Then the day explodes with activities...and well, did I think to pray? No, usually not.

Nighttime prayers are easier because you are given a moment to pause. In the morning, you have to make that pause. Which means waking up before the baby cries or walking away from the day for a moment and hitting your knees. I know that the mornings I do pray, my spirit is lifted a little. I see everything from a higher perspective that just makes more sense.

How do you fit prayers into your morning routine?

Seek ye First the Kingdom of God . . .

Hello! Before I start, I'd like to express my gratitude for the privilege of becoming a part of this wonderful team. I look forward to sharing my experiences, thoughts and trials as a way to serve everyone here who comes our way!

My name is Elizabeth Mueller and I enjoy the opportunity to stay at home with my four beautiful, energetic children who are anxious for school to start. I love to write, draw, sing, sew, dance and read.

I started writing since elementary school and have fallen in love with the art. I love creating worlds of people. I love to see them interacting with each other, and the satisfaction of finishing the stories.

Being a mother, I feel it is just as important to follow Christ’s footsteps—especially with my writing. Though I only have a high school journal published and a few poems, I have written several novels and have submitted one of them already! There have been a few times while I write that my kids are up and about. They come visit me in my bedroom, ask for small favors and then go away. I always feel guilty when I say, “I’m writing, I’ll help you when I am done.” It is only until after I am left to myself that I stop and look at them, thinking what an awful mother I am for not being there for them when they needed me. Mother first, Writer last, right? It can be so hard because I find writing so addicting. I can’t stand the consuming guilt I have for pushing my kids off for those few precious hours. I actually feel that I am stealing time away from them.

It is my calling to be their mother. To teach them right from wrong. To teach them the Gospel Principles. To teach them what a mother of Zion should be like. I take all those matters to heart. I have decided long ago to write at my own expense. Writing when they are in bed after I have tucked them in. They understand my passion for writing and how protective I am of that precious window of time. So I have talked with them about it and asked them to help me with my "me" time by allowing me to write after they are tucked away for the night.

Well, they still come up out of bed but I try to stick to my plan of bed-time writing. Now, I will not write during the day unless they are enjoying their quiet time. Quiet time is a wonderful opportunity for my kids to indulge in a book or two, art, quiet playing in their bedrooms . . . Anything, so long as they don’t burn their rooms to the ground. I thrive in my quiet times. It is hard, I must admit, to hold it everyday because our days are so filled with lots of things already.

I make it a point to seek spiritual edification first before I pamper my hobby. I will study a chapter of scriptures and pray before I crack open my laptop. I have found that my mind is clearer and I hear and see my characters so much better.

I know that I can’t do this alone, my writing. I need the Lord’s help. During the times when I feel that I have reached an impasse, I turn to my husband after much praying and reading of the scriptures. He willingly gives me a Priesthood blessing. In those special blessings, prayer is always mentioned. Then fasting. Wow. Will the Lord listen to me with such trivialities?

YES!

One day, while particularly troubled with a spot on my latest novel (mind you, it was already completed at the time, I was just revising certain parts to create more tension!), I got on my knees and prayed. Do you know what the answer was?

Take a bath.

What? Take a bath? I was frustrated as I gazed longingly at my sad laptop. I shrugged and thought that I should obey the Spirit. Well, in the middle of my bath as I was dozing off to Never Land, it hit me! In the haze of waking slumber, inspiration flooded me. I smiled and thanked Heavenly Father for the wonderful insight. Just as it is to shower after a routine of vigorous exercise, it is reading scriptures, praying and turning to the Lord for guidance before I write.

I am truly humbled that my Father in Heaven supports my love for writing. My talent. He knows just how important it is to me. It is my main source of sanity while in the midst of four screaming children, a husband whom I hardly see, several church callings and a very messy house!

I have no doubt that He will bless me for my spiritual efforts as it states in JST Matthew 6: 38:

“Seek not the things of this world but seek ye first to build up the kingdom of God, and to establish His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”

I know it isn't always easy to find time to find your window and I feel that whatever works for you is what you should do. I think it is wonderful for the kids to see Mom exercise her talents and interests other than with the kids! I am grateful to be a part of His gospel and all the blessings He has bestowed upon me and my family. I am especially grateful for His loving support with my love of writing and know that if you pray and read your scriptures and actively seek His counsel, He will do the same for you!