Changling

By Beckie Carlson

As women, we have grown up hearing about 'the change'. It is something ominous, far ahead in the future,that calls our name. Our grandmothers and even mothers have 'gone through the change' and have war stories to share about their experience. Ask any woman over 40 about the change and she will tell you how it is either upon her or lurking closely in the shadows. Except for me.
I refuse to go through the change .I don't believe it is necessary and I'll do what I want. (foot stamping). Nobody can tell me what my body is going to do. I'm the boss of me.
This attitude has awakened a sort of awareness in me. While others just smile and shake their head 'knowingly' at me when I say these things, I sometimes take a step back and try to figure out what exactly I'm talking about. Am I that much of a control freak? Do I think I can even control nature? You betcha.
Change is something that happens all the time. I used to say I hated change. I didn't like my routine interrupted. I didn't like unexpected things coming in and stirring the pot. Boy, has my pot been stirred over the last seven  years.
I believe in the words "we won't be given more than we can handle" and even like to acknowledge that after phrase of "with the Lords' help", but I've started looking at it in a different way. Instead of looking at things with a sort of mental scale of tolerance, I've started looking at things as classes. "Here comes ______, what do I need to learn from this?"
I tote Stephen Covey's 7 habits a lot with my kids and friends. He is a smart guy that really spelled it out well.  Be proactive, think win-win, begin with the end in mind, sharpen your saw, synergize, put first things first, and seek first to understand. My motto lately is Seek first to understand. That habit alone can wear a person out. It involves stopping, thinking, acting and NOT reacting. It also implies not taking things personally, something I struggle with.
When it comes to seeking first to understand and change, they go hand in hand. Life changes.Why? Life is like a big,silent, lurking shadow-friend that is always hanging around us. Sometimes silent friends are the hardest to understand because they don't say much, they just do stuff. The saying is 'actions speak louder than words', but with Life, sometimes I wish he/she would just take off the muzzle and tell me what to do.
I've come to embrace change. Somewhat. I think it is kind of like that alley dog that guards the old quilter's house. If you show him fear, he is going to bite you in the butt. If you go past with your head high and  your gaze fixed upon where you are going, he will probably bark a bit, but leave you alone. Every now and then, it might not hurt to take a treat to throw at him to show him you aren't all that bad and you accept him in his role.
Life is hard, it is change, and sometimes it really stinks. But in the long run, it is a high level college class that is a prerequisite for what we really want. Hang in there. Do the work, and embrace the opportunities to grow.
Cause I said so.

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