To the Someone(s) Who Stand Behind Us

   We believe one of the most important aspects of our being a Mormon Mommy Writer is the Priesthood-Holder Daddy Supporters that stand with us. When I told my husband that I was going to write a book with my sister, he was supportive from the very beginning. I thanked him one day for being so supportive of this crazy idea. He basically said he felt that he would be stupid not to because if he didn't he would really regret it when we are successful and famous! It makes me happy to know that he believes in me, and it gives me courage to keep going when I have so many doubts about this whole process.

   For us our husbands play a significant role in our writing. Even though they have little to do with the actual writing process they are the silent courage that keeps us going, the constant encouragement when we feel we're no good. They have made our dream their dream, and by doing so they have brought it to life for us.

    We have learned how vital it is to have a support system in the writing world, someone who can do a final read-through, or offer suggestions, someone to give us the courage to put our thoughts out there. Sometimes it is just to have someone to understand that the reason the house is a disaster when he walks through the door is because we spent hours on the phone talking and writing together.

   There are so many days when we feel that we are like little kids among adults in the writing community, we wonder if we'll ever grow up to be like all of you! But our stalwart husbands stand by our side and say, "If you want it, go for it!" 

 

"I give council to husbands and wives. Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seems small. Pray for the love to make your companion's joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion." -Pres. Henry B. Eyring

Finally!

He's coming home! After six weeks without him, my husband is finally going to be able to move out and join us. This separation has been so hard--being the only parent for 5 children all the time, forgetting important things like dr's appointments because my brain is so full of the day to day stuff. Stressing over their grades and progress and behavior in school. Not having someone here who can physically help out, or to bounce ideas off of.

But Wednesday, all that will end. Hopefully for good this time. We've endured separations in our marriage because of his various jobs, and it's never been fun. A year ago August he was in LA for a month, and one of the first things that happened at home was someone shattered our minivan's back window. It pretty much went downhill from there. Ugh.

**But don't tell the kids. He's going to surprise them.**

When I went back to bed this morning (because it's impossible to sleep with a cuddly 7 yr old taking up the entire space), I started thinking about my dad. Whenever Bryan is gone for an extended time, I'm reminded of the importance of a father in a child's life. It's something I've known since my childhood because of the lack I experienced. My parents divorced when I was 4, my mother never remarried, and my father died when I was 7. He wasn't there to baptize me, which was just the beginning of the milestones he missed. I grew up measuring every father I encountered to a set standard, and the only one who ever measured up to it became my father in law.

As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about the possibility of writing a book celebrating fathers from the perspective of someone who had lived without hers. Society is really big on making it okay for parents to raise their kids alone. There are some people who have to do it that way, and others who choose it. But it affects the child in a number of different ways. I just wonder if it would be worth putting out there. Fatherhood is not for sissies. But, for the man willing to put the effort into it, the rewards are eternal.

Me Again

by Cheri Chesley

Last week, my son hijacked my weekly post with a short story of his own. Imaginative, isn't he? Today, you're stuck with me.

Sunday is Fathers' Day. For years, I had a really hard time with this holiday. My own father divorced my mother when I was four, then died when I was 7. Each year as I grew older, I lamented what I was missing. But how could I miss what I'd never known? It's easier than you might think.

As I married and had children of my own, I wanted to focus the day on their father (my hubby), but often my own resentment toward the day would make it difficult. We went through the motions, but it didn't have the right feel to it. It frustrated me to think, in this at least, I was letting my kids down.

Then, about 5 years ago, I was at the cemetery with my dad for Fathers' Day talking things out. As I sat there in the grass, I had a revelation. (a series of them, actually) I stopped thinking about how awful it had been for my family that my dad died, and started thinking about his quality of life had he lived. My whole understanding shifted that day. My dad's death stopped being about *me* and started being about *him*. Obviously, I can't know for sure how things would have been, but I have a pretty good imagination and a fair understanding of human nature.

I'm really grateful for that day. I'm also grateful for the Gospel, and with it the understanding of what happens after this life. It doesn't hurt that many of my priesthood blessings mention my dad, how proud he is, and how he longs to be a part of my life. No, that doesn't hurt at all.

Fathers' Day has a new meaning for me, now. And I love helping the kids plan and do something special for their dad. This year--strawberry cake!

HAPPY FATHERS' DAY!

Father's Day . . . and single Mommies, too!

I read an article from the Liahona. I can't help but say that I love the story that James E. Faust told and it has never left my mind. I thought it would be nice to share this with you. It has touched my life, and even though I am not a daddy, I believe this would apply to mommies too. ;)
"Brethren, noble fatherhood gives us a glimpse of the divine attributes of our Father in Heaven. A father should be many things. He should magnify his priesthood and be an example of righteousness. In companionship with his wife, he should be the source of stability and strength for the whole family. He should be the protector and the provider and the champion of the members of his family. Much of his love for his children should flow from his example of love, concern, and fidelity for their mother. By his uncompromising example he should instill character into his children.

When Elder LeGrand Richards left to attend college, his father, George F. Richards, said to him and his brother, George F. Jr., “I would trust you two to go anywhere I would go myself.” Their hearts swelled with love and pride in his words. LeGrand later said, “They put rods of steel in our spines, and we couldn’t do anything that would disappoint him.” 10
A father should never consciously disappoint his wife or children. In 1989 there was a terrible earthquake in Armenia that killed over 30,000 people in four minutes. A distraught father went in frantic search of his son. He reached his son’s school only to find that it had been reduced to a pile of rubble. But he was driven by his promise to his son, “No matter what, I’ll always be there for you!” He visualized the corner where his son’s classroom would be, rushed there, and started to dig through the debris, brick by brick.
Others came on the scene—the fire chief, then the police—warning him of fires and explosions, and urging him to leave the search to the emergency crews. But he tenaciously carried on digging. Night came and went, and then, in the 38th hour of digging, he thought he heard his son’s voice. “Armand!” he called out. Then he heard, “Dad!?! It’s me, Dad! I told the other kids not to worry. I told ’em that if you were alive, you’d save me and when you saved me, they’d be saved. …

“There are 14 of us left out of 33. … When the building collapsed, it made a wedge, like a triangle, and it saved us.”

“Come on out, boy!”
“No, Dad! Let the other kids out first, ’cause I know you’ll get me! No matter what, I know you’ll be there for me!”

~ James E. Faust

Happy Father's Day!