Friday, October 14, 2011


He's coming home! After six weeks without him, my husband is finally going to be able to move out and join us. This separation has been so hard--being the only parent for 5 children all the time, forgetting important things like dr's appointments because my brain is so full of the day to day stuff. Stressing over their grades and progress and behavior in school. Not having someone here who can physically help out, or to bounce ideas off of.

But Wednesday, all that will end. Hopefully for good this time. We've endured separations in our marriage because of his various jobs, and it's never been fun. A year ago August he was in LA for a month, and one of the first things that happened at home was someone shattered our minivan's back window. It pretty much went downhill from there. Ugh.

**But don't tell the kids. He's going to surprise them.**

When I went back to bed this morning (because it's impossible to sleep with a cuddly 7 yr old taking up the entire space), I started thinking about my dad. Whenever Bryan is gone for an extended time, I'm reminded of the importance of a father in a child's life. It's something I've known since my childhood because of the lack I experienced. My parents divorced when I was 4, my mother never remarried, and my father died when I was 7. He wasn't there to baptize me, which was just the beginning of the milestones he missed. I grew up measuring every father I encountered to a set standard, and the only one who ever measured up to it became my father in law.

As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about the possibility of writing a book celebrating fathers from the perspective of someone who had lived without hers. Society is really big on making it okay for parents to raise their kids alone. There are some people who have to do it that way, and others who choose it. But it affects the child in a number of different ways. I just wonder if it would be worth putting out there. Fatherhood is not for sissies. But, for the man willing to put the effort into it, the rewards are eternal.


  1. Yay! That is so exciting for you :)

  2. I'm so glad he's coming home. My hubby's only gone for a week hunting and it's not fun for me! I like your book idea. I, too, am from a divorced family and had limited contact with my father growing up. Fatherhood is very important and I'm grateful to my husband who takes his role very seriously. (Though he his hardly ever serious with the kids. Always playing and joking around with them. But that is his job!)

  3. hugs... my dh is in the reserves. I've only got one, but I totally understand the craziness when the hubby's not around. We've got about 10 months to go before he'll be home, and my daughter and I have been both going crazy recently!

  4. It's so interesting that you're thinking of that book. Right now my father-in-law is visiting us for the first time. Due to some questionable circumstances (a he said/she said thing between my husband's mother and father) he hasn't been in my husband's life at all until about a year ago (30-year absence). It was very interesting to me to see the way that absence has affected my husband in a surprisingly positive way. He has always done everything he could to be the best dad to our kids. He also is very close with his stepfather, a man who adopted him and his sister when he was eight. He really appreciates him more than most sons appreciate their dad, I think, because he knows what it's like to not have a dad. I'm also very touched seeing what it means to his father to be with him again and to finally get to know his kids and grandkids. Kind of a great time in our family's life. :-)

    Glad your man is coming home!

  5. Nice post. My dh is gone 20 days a month and it is equally hard for him to be gone.



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