You Know You're a Writer When Part 2

1. Every social media account you open feels like ripping out another piece of your soul. In other words, you're Voldemort creating horcruxes.

2. Writer's block is the devil.

3. And you secretly know it's an excuse but you will never admit it.

4. You believe this is one of the most romantic gestures of all time.

5. And you want to just live in Belle's library. So bad.

6. These are the villains in your life,

7. You will do this before you die,

8. Let's face it. You relate to Princess Belle on so many levels.

9. You have a special writing place.

10. And sometimes you improvise.

11. You proofread EVERYTHING you write on social media because you've already shared something like this on your wall. And you can't be a hypocrite.

12. This is also true,

13. This is your favorite smell,

14. You are a psychic. Well, whenever you watch TV.

15. Which is why when you find a show that surprises you this happens,

16. You can't help but read rejections this way. At least once. Or ten times.

17. You've handled a rejection by pretending to be okay. We all have to be rejected, right?

18. But when no one's looking . . .

19. Your characters have minds of their own.

 

20. When you actually like what you've just written, you think something must be wrong with you.

21. While reading you want grab the two love interests like barbies and make them kiss already!

22. While writing you are maniacally laughing because you won't let them be together until the end of the third or tenth book.

23. Replace squirrel with bookstore and this is your life,

24. This is your internal response when people say they've boughten your book but haven't read it yet.

25. This is your reaction when someone asks you what your book is about, 

26. This is your state of being after you've written 10,000 words,

27. This is your reaction when someone says 10,000 words isn't really that many,

28. And you can't help your reaction when someone asks you why it's taking you so long to finish your novel,

Or have your work published,

29. Which is why this thought enters your mind daily,

30. Except you've already given bits of your soul away

BECAUSE YOU'RE A WRITER

Saturday So What: Everything I need to know as a writer, I learned from Buffy

My husband and I have been indulging recently in last year's Christmas present... the full series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD. I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, but the show is brilliant. Joss Whedon is a freakin' genius. It is my fervent belief that if every writer watched Buffy, the quality of books would vastly increase. Here's what I learned.:

1. Witty irreverent dialogue makes characters interesting. Even the unlikable ones.
Principal Snyder is not a character you should like. He constantly causes problems for our heroine.  It would be easy to cast this character as a throw away. Just a boring voice of authority. Instead, Whedon has given him some of the best lines, making him worth watching instead of a snoozefest.
Principal Snyder: That's the kind of wooly-headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.

2. Sidekicks are almost as valuable as the protagonist.

Where would the Scooby Gang be without Willow, Giles and Zander? These characters are all essential parts of story. They add meaningful support as well as comic relief. Often sidekicks are relegated to very surface personalities. It's easy to fall into the stereotype trap. The fat best friend, the nerd, the snotty cheerleader.. you name it and it's been done. They don't grow. So take it farther, make the audience care and give your sidekicks depth. Think of the growth Willow had throughout the series.

3. Angel was the original Edward from Twilight

And Joss Whedon did it so much better. Edward comes off as too good to be true. He has no flaws. It's obnoxious. And unrealistic. Angel is awesome because he has issues. He's not perfect, we don't always like him; but in the end, we all root for him anyway. Have you ever had a relationship that was all sunshine and roses? Where the only problems between the two of you could be worked out through a little DTR (define the relationship). Didn't think so. Buys make you cry. Love makes you cry.And sometimes... true love doesn't conquer all.

4. Sometimes life sucks.

Throughout the series, Buffy goes through hell. How often do we read books where the main character is never in any real peril. Nothing bad really happens to them. Buffy got the crap beat out of her on a weekly basis. She doesn't often get what she wants, but she does what is needed. Don't be afraid to hurt your hero. If there is no true peril, the story isn't interesting. And if it's obvious that the hero will come out all peachy keen... why would we keep turning the page?

There are so many more lessons, but I think I'll leave it on just one final thought. Fun. In every Joss Whedon project I have ever seen, it is clear that he has fun. Look at Buffy, Firefly, Avengers... they do well and have cult followings because he has fun with his writing. When the writer has fun, the audience can't help but join in.

So until next week, live by my personal author tagline -- Having fun on the page

L is for Laughter

This is my husband, Bryan. He didn't look like this when I married him...

Whenever a camera comes out in my house there is at least one goofy picture taken. Usually several. Why? Because laughter really is the best medicine. And I married into a family of jokers. And I'm raising a family of jokers.

I had a rather serious childhood, and I can tell you it didn't do me a whole lot of good. So while we have our serious moments, Bryan and I make sure we include time for fun and just plain silliness. Like this picture. Because it's good for us. And, like that old cliche, the family that plays together stays together.

As writers, I think we should consider laughter, and it's cousin, humor, as we write. There's a reason TV dramas have comic relief. Everyone needs to smile once in a while. And constant drama isn't good for us. I probably cite Harry Potter a lot, but some of my favorite moments are when someone inadvertently makes a joke, or the author makes a point of creating humor in a scene.

When I happen to be in the room when someone is reading one of my manuscripts or books, I am pretty good at ignoring them. Except when they laugh, giggle or chortle. I don't necessarily write humor, but I do have moments that ease or break the tension--and I do want to know if they are laughing at the same things that made me smile writing them.

So, laugh. Make your kids laugh. Tell a bad joke, or even a semi-good one. I don't know any great jokes unless I'm quoting someone else. But I will leave you with one my daughter told me:

"What do you call a handsome magnet?"
What?
"Attractive."

You smiled, didn't you? ;)