I'm an Author

My book came out this week.  I'm an author.

It's slowly making its way to the stores.  It's even on kindle and nook now too.  I'm an author.

This past week I've spent several days talking with a potential movie producer ( a man from where my books are set) discussing my vision for the series, etc.  How best to incorporate the community, and how much we can give back to them locally.  I'm an author.

I got my first one star review, yesterday.  That's all it was--just one star--no review, just the star.  I guess those are the best kind because you can convince yourself it was given on accident.  I'm an author.

I've had to already go through final edits of my second book.  It will go to press either this week or next.  They want it printed early, so it can catch all the great reviews before it's released in October. They're rushing the cover now.  I'm an author.

Meanwhile, opportunities for me to sign and speak have been coming in... now, it's just trying to coordinate and figure which times are best, etc.  I'm an author.

Anyway...
This is what it really feels like to be a published author.

You know, I always wondered what it would feel like, even before I'd ever decided I wanted to write, I wondered what this would feel like... and guess what?

I feel the same.  The exact same.

I'm just me.  A busy mom who's now all of the sudden a lot more busier.  (If that's possible.)  I'm still the same happy.  I'm still the same sad.  I'm still the same, well, everything.  It wasn't a magic publishing wand that suddenly made me more of a person, more of a daughter of God, a better, more successful woman.  Nope.  People treat me differently--but I'm still the same.  Same insecurities, same securities, same worries, same hope and faith.  Same overwhelming love for my Heavenly Father.

I'm just me.  I'm an author.

Thanking My Heavenly Father for Unanswered Prayers

I've had a few reflective days where looking back on it all I'm so grateful for the little unanswered prayers in my life.  Those prayers that were so huge and desperate at the time... in the end, saved me so much more heartache.

Like the time I begged the Lord to let me stay in my beautiful home in Chatteris, England, even though the promptings to leave could not be ignored and eventually we did.  Moving when I was 8 months pregnant.

Or when I begged the Lord a few weeks later to not take my husband to Iraq until after the baby (our sixth) was born.  So things would work out and he could see her.  When she was a week overdue and my husband left, and the doctors were not able to induce me due to complications, it was when I nearly cursed God.  Nearly.  I felt it was the hardest thing I ever had to do--be over nine months pregnant with so many children and say goodbye to my husband.  I was scared, and angry... and in a new place where I knew no one.

Only to find a week later and a prolapsed umbilical cord... Had I not moved, had my husband stayed, had anything at all been different--so many little miracles in a row--I wouldn't be laughing with my 4 year old today.  They say it was a miracle she survived at all... I know for a fact, had my husband been there or had I lived 30 minutes from the hospital in my old house, my life would've been so much more miserable than it was the few weeks before.

My Heavenly Father knew, that even though he was breaking my heart, I really, really wanted to have a baby in my arms, more than I wanted my husband there to witness her death or a beautiful house to bury her nearby.  He knew much more than I did--

And it was this lesson, the lesson when I nearly cursed my God, that I realized no matter what unanswered prayers I'm given, no matter what trials, or disappointments come my way, I will realize and see that I do not know the big picture, that my Heavenly Father does love me and watches out for me.  I will never (nearly) curse Him again.

I also realize and own the fact, he could take anyone I love at any moment... but if he did, it would be okay.  Because each day is a blessing with them.  Each moment a precious gift, and I will be grateful for all the gifts and learning opportunities I am given--even if they are for just a moment.

So just remember, if the burden you carry seems too hard at the moment, and you feel as if you're asked to do too many things you didn't count on, be grateful.  Get on your knees and thank God for every trial in your life.  Because you do not know what would happen if things were different.  Had you stayed in that home.  Had your husband continued to work for that company...

Or had your book been published when you thought it should've been.  Lol!  He has his hand in everything.
Everything happens for a reason.  Be truly grateful for all those reasons.  And every unanswered prayer.

--Jenni James

Psst!  It's finally here!  My book is finally here!  I held in my hands on Thursday at my very first signing.  (it was at a booksellers convention, for buyers from around the US, Canada, England, etc. to decide if they want to sell my book in their store.  I'm very happy to say Pride & Popularity will be in stores very soon! Eeep.