Indecision

- a post by Jeanna Mason Stay*

Recently I was listing out all the writing tasks I needed to be working on right then. There were nine.

Nine tasks. Some were difficult and long, some were urgent and small, and some I just didn’t want to do at all. Now, you are probably fantastic at juggling your many tasks and deciding which to do first, which to put off, how much time to spend, etc. But not me. I sat and stared at the list and fluttered my hands and started freaking out. Egad! I was never going to get any of them done.

But after about ten minutes of freaking out, I finally chose one and started working on it. In the most inefficient manner possible. This was a task that should have taken three minutes to plan and fifteen minutes to complete. Twenty minutes later, I was still “planning.” Fortunately, my hubby got home just then. Saved! He would rescue me and help me focus. He’s very good at that. I organize the paperwork in our marriage, and he organizes the mental energies.

“Help me!” I pleaded. “I’m being a total spaz.” I explained my problem and told him my list of tasks. Three minutes later I had a prioritized list of what to do and where to start. Oh, also, something he said made me think of the perfect plan for the task I’d been “working” on. Magic. He’s like my muse.

Sadly, I don’t always have him around—since, you know, I like having a roof over my head and money to buy food. So I’ve grown to realize that I really need to get a grip on how I deal with tasks when I have too many of them (or tasks that I’m avoiding because they’re hard).

How do you do it? I asked him. Apparently he has two guiding principles:

1. Do the most important things first.

2. Start now.

And you really only have about three minutes to decide which are the “most important things.” Because after that, step 2 starts to apply. Even if you prioritized wrong, it’s better to do that and then start on things rather than spend all your time prioritizing.

I like the simplicity of this approach. It appeals to the logical, ordered part of me (I really do have one). I think I would add a step 3 too, though: Stop when it’s good enough, then move on. Because I sometimes spend waaaay too long trying to figure out “perfect” when “good enough” is actually a better choice at the time. Sure, a manuscript you’re sending off should be the very best it can be, but maybe the email you’re sending to your child’s teacher doesn’t need that fourth draft. Just a thought.

So those are the steps my husband and I suggest for overcoming hand-flapping, hyperventilating, and overall crazy-making indecision. What works for you?

* Today’s post is brought to you by last week’s snow day. Win!

Time May Change Me...

by Katy White

This month has presented an interesting lesson in balance for me.  At the beginning of the month, I set a goal of writing 70,000 words, I committed to teaching a week of seminary, and now another later in the month, and I've received a new calling in my ward's YW Presidency.  And, of course, I fully expected that all of my regular duties as a wife and mother and sister and friend wouldn't take a hit.  I planned to put on the Whole Armor daily, like I always try to do, and I was sure I'd still get my visiting teaching done.

So, yeah, about that...

Some things have gone really well.  I've written 54,000 words to this point, which means NaNo's in the bag!  Squee!  Happy dance!  The first week teaching seminary was wonderful, and I'm optimist that the next one will be, as well.  My scripture study has actually been stronger than usual; I'm actually studying rather than simply reading a page or a chapter each day.

Other things have not gone so well.  The state of my house, while not truly horrific, is causing me some stress.  Laundry gets done, then sits, clean and wrinkly, in the laundry basket.  Which is now about the height of my husband.  The floor around my daughter's high chair is getting wiped up daily, and I'm just pretending that the quick wipe of these two square feet counts as mopping.  My husband has been writing love notes to me in the dust on our surfaces.  Literally.  He thinks it's cute, I think it's an indictment on my housekeeping.  We agree to disagree.

I've realized that TV is a luxury I don't need but I'm not completely willing to give up (and I thank Brooklyn Nine Nine and The Mindy Project for that little epiphany).  I have cut out a couple of my weekly shows, though.  I've virtually turned off Facebook, I've Instagrammed maybe a tenth of what I normally do, and I've talked to my sisters about half as often as normal (considering we talk once to twice a day, this isn't the tragedy I'm making it out to be).  I drink a can of Diet Pepsi almost daily.

I'm still saying my prayers, though I've fallen asleep praying almost every night because I'm staying up too late.  I've also remembered more than once to say my morning prayers while on my morning walk rather than when I first wake up.  Frown.

According to Elder Dallin H. Oaks, "Our priorities are most visible in how we use our time. Someone has said, 'Three things never come back—the spent arrow, the spoken word, and the lost opportunity.' We cannot recycle or save the time allotted to us each day. With time, we have only one opportunity for choice, and then it is gone forever."

Our time is precious.  I haven't reached the balance I want, but I'm closer from this experience than I would be otherwise.  I've learned that writing daily is possible and necessary for my happiness, while Facebook daily isn't.  I can't "have it all."  Heck, I don't even want it all.  I just need to know what my priorities are and shoot for those.  If my house is a little dusty (okay, a lot dusty), my day will be just fine.  If I miss my prayers, not so much.  

While I work out my priorities, I'd love to know how you ladies do it.  What sacrifices have you found are worth it and what aren't?  Any balance successes or failures (like my dusty love notes) to share?

The Last Friday

Missed you last Friday. No, really. I'd much rather have been keeping up with my posting on MMW than working a double shift.

I know I've talked about this before, so I won't bore you with the details. The short version is I took a job at the local Dollar General to offset my husband's income. Then I got promoted. Then I got promoted again. Then my husband took a pay cut in the form of a job closer to home that pays less, so my income became more important. Now I'm feeling really stuck, in so many ways. The only light I see at the end of the tunnel is to write and publish enough books to create income that way so I can come back home.

Because I really don't feel like I spend a lot of time at home. Even my days off (the ones I don't get called in to work) are spent half expecting the phone to ring. I need a job that doesn't need *me* so much, but in a town of less than 10k people, the options are slim.

Now that my schedule is so insane, and I still have a home and family and those lingering dreams of writing, I've had to start seriously considering what to let go. I hate that, but it's like when you bring home a newborn and their demands take over your life. You have to decide if you're going to wash the dishes, do that load of laundry, or just snuggle the baby and see to their needs.

For me, my weekly post here at MMW has become that load of laundry I just can't get done. I hate it, but there you are. Fortunately these mommies are a strong group. They can easily carry on without me. :) I'll still be around to lurk, linger, and comment if the moment arises, but I will no longer hold that coveted Friday spot that I've loved so much.

So, thank you to MMW for giving me a place. Thank you to my readers for reading, enjoying, and commenting on my posts. Thank you for the wonderful environment we've created on this blog. And please remember me.

Cheri