One Question That Will Make You a Better Writer, Make You a Better Wife & Mom, and Even Clean Your House (no, really- I have the before and after pictures to prove it!)

Back in June I wrote about this totally life-changing method for decluttering (aka, tidying) called KonMari.

Just so you know, it's still life-changing. Life has been changed. So much.

So much that I had to share it with you again!

First off, let me show you that photo of that drawer from my last post in June:

Isn't it lovely?

Here is that same drawer today- I literally stopped writing this and went upstairs, opened it, snapped this photo. No rearranging or retouching (though it is at a slightly different angle and more clothes are showing and I didn't have as much natural light, so it's not "glowing" quite as much).

Still lovely! How is that possible? (notice there's a pale green shirt absent- I decided at some point over the summer that it didn't spark joy. So I plucked it out and put it in my donate pile. Easy joy!)

The reason it's still lovely is this: this drawer sparks joy. And everything in it sparks joy. So when I put these, my favorite clothes away (I'm kind of a clothes horse, so I have a lot of favorites), I feel happy to do so.

The question that I mentioned in the title of my post is this: 

Does it SPARK JOY?

Does your home spark joy? Do your belongings spark joy? If they don't, it's time for them to go (just your belongings, not your home). Because when your home is a wreck and your stuff is shoved in, stacked, smooshed, and you have to work hard to find things you need, you are not feeling the joy. Once that load is lifted, when you are able to open closets and smile, when you open a drawer and can clearly see everything in it nestled happily in its own spot, you can breathe.

And when you are happy and you can breathe, guess what else you can do? You can WRITE! Because finally, you have a home that isn't screaming CLEAN ME!!!! in your head, drowning out all your great ideas and suffocating your creativity. There is a palpable change in the energy flow of a home when it only contains items that spark joy, items that are joyfully arranged and stored respectfully.

When this was lurking behind my master bedroom linen closet, the last thing I felt was happy and ready to write:

I can practically hear everything in there crying to be let out, to have space, to not be getting lost and crushed. UGH!

But this? Holy cow, does this ever spark joy! Everything in its own spot, with its own breathing room. This sparks joy. This- towels, toilet paper, and hair products, of all things- inspires me (yes, this is the same closet- and the books are part of my gift stash, lol). 

One of my favorite things about the KonMari method is that she encourages you to not only declutter your stuff, but to mindfully choose what you keep (does it spark JOY?) and then, because you have chosen to keep it, to respect it, and to mindfully display/store it in a way that also sparks joy.

Another horrifying before. (Does anyone else think it looks like a few of these items are actually trying to climb out and commit suicide? SO SAD. Don't do it, purple bottle! It's not worth it!)

And after. 

I still haven't totally finished with this yet- most of these items are things whose categories I haven't yet tackled, but I was able to get enough out that did fit in the other categories that it's looking a LOT better.*

Another before. This was under my bathroom counter, with the blue basket on the floor that usually lives on the top shelf.

That one green bottle on the top shelf and the gold one on the bottom have just given up completely. I can't say that I blame them. 

And after.

Looks like I still need to wipe down that shelf a bit (oh, the delights of a flash in a dark space). But the top shelf has just the two items you see, the bottom has the first aid kit and hair dryer, flat iron, and curling iron (which I will be getting a holding container for soon).

Kids' books before- no, we do not normally keep them in a massive pile on our living room floor (convenient though that may be), we gathered them from all over the house as per the KonMari method.

The living room kids' books after (they each selected their favorites for their own rooms as well):

The (gulp) coat closet in the foyer before:

And after we took everything out and I announced 1 pair of shoes allowed in the closet per family member (with the exception of the snow boots)- everything else goes in bedrooms:

My bathroom drawer after (didn't take a before- but trust me, it was scary):

A few more "afters" with no "befores"...

...my nightstand drawer... 

(I realized one of the reasons things were getting lost in here was because it was so dark, so I added some pretty black and white floral toile contact paper in the bottom. Joy! And as you can see, I have not yet KM'd my writing utensils. Another category. Another day.)

 ...kids' medicine cabinet (nothing but mouthwash, ibuprofen, cough medicine, thermometer, Vicks vapor rub, and some stuff for their fish tanks)...

...and our kitchen medicine cabinet, which was so bad before that I had a cardboard box of overflow sitting on the kitchen counter *cough*hoarder*cough*, and the cabinet itself was stuffed, and whenever I wanted to find something 6 other things would fall out. At least.

Now it's separate baskets for pain meds, cold meds, tummy meds, thermometers, and a first-aid kit, each  in their own spot. No more will I come to this cabinet, feeling sick and miserable, and end up feeling more sick and miserable (and sometimes even tearful) having to shuffle through old, expired medications and weird, goo-covered bottles just to find some relief. I did my future sick self a big favor by cleaning this up for her.

Can't you just FEEL the positive, joy-sparking energy flowing through these open spaces?!

The purpose of this post was not just to show off my progress (well, okay, maybe a little- I'm so freakin' proud of myself!) but also to show you that if you're in a similar situation- drowning in clutter- there's another way to do this, and if I can do it, then you can too. And your family will get on board. My husband was so thrilled with my progress that he went through his clothes all on his own, then his nightstand, and he helped me with the meds (and he wasn't doing any of it in his usual 'if-we-don't-get-some-of-this-crap-out-of-here-I'm-going-to-LOSE-IT' way either!) I have tried to declutter in the past, and had some short-term success with it, but Marie Kondo finally taught me HOW. 

I still have a long way to go- many more categories that need some joy, like pots & pans, cleaning supplies, my books (gulp), and craft supplies (heaven help me), but I am excited to keep going because I can feel the change, and it is thrilling. I can only imagine how incredible it will feel when the whole house is this way. 

So again, if you're in the same boat (and I know this is a downfall of creative people- we're messy!) and you need something that will work, THIS IS IT. That's all. This is it.

I will keep you updated as my house progresses. :-)

*In the KonMari method you declutter by category, not by area of your house. So when it was time for us to do medications, we gathered every single medication from every location in the house- bathrooms, kitchen, bedrooms- and sorted them all together. Makes you realize how much you really have, and makes you really think about where you store it.

Guilt, Sanity and House Cleaning

By Lacey Gunter

I used to think the phrase, "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" was a tool OCD cleaners coined to guilt those of us who don't meet their standard of cleanliness into trying to clean more. Recently I have come to a different conclusion. Having a truly clean house seems like a Godly feat to me. I think it would take a near act of God to get and keep my house truly clean.  So perhaps what it means is that it takes near superhuman strength and endurance to keep everything clean.

Even as I try to lay this obvious imperfection before the Lord's feet, I can't seem to shake this deep-seated sense of guilt for not being capable of doing it. 

I am fully aware of the fact that if I spend every waking moment not demanded by my husband, kids or job, doing house cleaning, I will go insane. Yet, every time I take a moment for myself, to be creative or sit down to write or just to relax for a minute, there is this nagging voice in the back of my head saying "Don't you have laundry to do?  Your house is a pigsty.  You're shirking your responsibilities for playtime. Get to work!"

Feed me, Seymour!

I know all the arguments to use against this nagging voice, at least enough to get it to shut up for a moment.  But when someone other than family shows up at my doorstep and I have to invite them in to my chaos, all those arguments fall by the wayside and I am left terribly embarrassed.

It is so hard sometimes, trying to intersect principle with reality. Heaven help me, please! Or, at the very least, tell me the afterlife comes furnished with a large host of angelic maids.

Time May Change Me...

by Katy White

This month has presented an interesting lesson in balance for me.  At the beginning of the month, I set a goal of writing 70,000 words, I committed to teaching a week of seminary, and now another later in the month, and I've received a new calling in my ward's YW Presidency.  And, of course, I fully expected that all of my regular duties as a wife and mother and sister and friend wouldn't take a hit.  I planned to put on the Whole Armor daily, like I always try to do, and I was sure I'd still get my visiting teaching done.

So, yeah, about that...

Some things have gone really well.  I've written 54,000 words to this point, which means NaNo's in the bag!  Squee!  Happy dance!  The first week teaching seminary was wonderful, and I'm optimist that the next one will be, as well.  My scripture study has actually been stronger than usual; I'm actually studying rather than simply reading a page or a chapter each day.

Other things have not gone so well.  The state of my house, while not truly horrific, is causing me some stress.  Laundry gets done, then sits, clean and wrinkly, in the laundry basket.  Which is now about the height of my husband.  The floor around my daughter's high chair is getting wiped up daily, and I'm just pretending that the quick wipe of these two square feet counts as mopping.  My husband has been writing love notes to me in the dust on our surfaces.  Literally.  He thinks it's cute, I think it's an indictment on my housekeeping.  We agree to disagree.

I've realized that TV is a luxury I don't need but I'm not completely willing to give up (and I thank Brooklyn Nine Nine and The Mindy Project for that little epiphany).  I have cut out a couple of my weekly shows, though.  I've virtually turned off Facebook, I've Instagrammed maybe a tenth of what I normally do, and I've talked to my sisters about half as often as normal (considering we talk once to twice a day, this isn't the tragedy I'm making it out to be).  I drink a can of Diet Pepsi almost daily.

I'm still saying my prayers, though I've fallen asleep praying almost every night because I'm staying up too late.  I've also remembered more than once to say my morning prayers while on my morning walk rather than when I first wake up.  Frown.

According to Elder Dallin H. Oaks, "Our priorities are most visible in how we use our time. Someone has said, 'Three things never come back—the spent arrow, the spoken word, and the lost opportunity.' We cannot recycle or save the time allotted to us each day. With time, we have only one opportunity for choice, and then it is gone forever."

Our time is precious.  I haven't reached the balance I want, but I'm closer from this experience than I would be otherwise.  I've learned that writing daily is possible and necessary for my happiness, while Facebook daily isn't.  I can't "have it all."  Heck, I don't even want it all.  I just need to know what my priorities are and shoot for those.  If my house is a little dusty (okay, a lot dusty), my day will be just fine.  If I miss my prayers, not so much.  

While I work out my priorities, I'd love to know how you ladies do it.  What sacrifices have you found are worth it and what aren't?  Any balance successes or failures (like my dusty love notes) to share?

Atta Girl!

by Charla J Schneider

Twice a week I cycle with the most wonderful group of moms.  They are lovely, friendly, motivated and tough.  These mamas fly up and down the many hills within the river valley trail system here in Edmonton like it’s nothing.  There are three groups:  The fast group, the medium group and the slow group.  I’m in the slow group….and I don’t really think they are very slow at all.  I huff, I puff, I wheeze my way forward almost always the slowest of the slow.  Those ladies cheer me on and without offering to ease up they embolden me with “You got this Char”, “You’re doin’ great Char” – I don’t find these words of encouragement patronizing because I need every single bit of positive energy I can get during those hard 70 minute rides.   During the last ride we had just gotten started and I really needed some exercise because I felt like I was having a crazy week.  I once read that one of the worst jobs someone with ADD can have is a homemaker.  There are other bad jobs that us ADDers should stay away from but when I read that I felt…understood.   I felt that way because it is monumentally difficult for me to keep my home organized and to offer the structure and consistency I know my kids need.  Only a few days before this last ride of mine when my mother called and asked what I was doing  I replied that I was sitting in a chair with a blanket over my head.  Sometimes the full time task of pulling my home together really feels that overwhelming.    So I showed up for Thursday’s ride already feeling tired and pushed and we began to climb uphill.  There was an especially steep part which everyone behind me passed me on and I just got off my bike, out of breath and started walking my bike up the hill.  Feeling a little annoyed that everyone else was already at the top of the hill, waiting for me I continued forward and saw an older man, cane in hand, coming down the hill in front of me.  Having watched all the other ladies zip up before me he looked at me, smiled then said “Atta girl!  You can do it – you just gotta go a little slower that’s all.”  I smiled back at him and then turned my head as tears started streaming down my face and I felt what he said all the way down to my toes and back again because what he said seemed very relevant to my life in general.  River valley hills, life’s hills – they can be real scoundrels sometimes,  but I can do hills, I just gotta go a little slower that’s all.