A match made in Heaven....

By Lacey Gunter

In western cultures we love to romanticize the idea of a soul mate; that supposed person who is the other half of our whole. All the while, we women seem to never be satisfied with the half we make up.  We have the hardest time looking in the mirror without zeroing in on exactly what isn't great about our bodies, always obsessing about our physical flaws.

I find great irony in this situation, although, probably not in the way you would think. You see, our souls, or our spirits, have already been matched up with what Heaven believes will be the perfect fit, our utterly amazing physical bodies.

Who knows whether there is really another person out there that is the only perfectly right person for you? But there can be no question about which body God wanted your spirit to reside with. Yet, often, that match garners little or no enthusiasm.

The union between our bodies and our spirits is much like a marriage, albeit an arranged marriage.  Marriages thrive when both partners possess love and respect for each other. So what kind of partner is your spirit being in this relationship?  Are you abusive and unkind? Do you put your partner down for its shortcomings? Are you always pointing out the negative and failing to notice and give credit for the things that are wonderful, unique and special about your partner?

If we want this union between our physical bodies and our souls to flourish, women, we need to stop hating on our physical bodies. We need to cultivate a deep and abiding love and respect for the truly remarkable creation that they are. So give your body a hug. And when you look in the mirror next time, thank your body for all the many things it's doing right today.

Say what you need to say.

by Kasey Tross

Last Saturday I got the rare opportunity to have a Girl's Day with my daughter. My relationship with this little girl is…strained. She is like a 15-year-old in an 8-year-old's body. All spunk and attitude, with a huge dose of stubbornness thrown in.

Don't get me wrong. All the things that drive me crazy about her are all the things I love about her. I will never forget the day when some bullies on the playground were trying to keep kids from going down the slide. Her big brother walked away in tears.

She simply glared at them and then pushed past them to go down the slide. I think she was 3 at the time.

They didn't mess with her after that.

Anyway, she is the oldest girl, so she often takes on the mother role for her two little sisters, and it's easy for her to get lost in the mix, and look for attention in all the wrong ways, which is why I was glad we had this time together.

We started our morning with crafts at a mother/daughter activity at church and then we went shopping, both activities that we both really enjoy. After shopping, we went out for an ice cream treat at McDonald's.

We were sitting in the solarium-type part of the restaurant, right by the window. She was chattering away about something and the sun was hitting her hair just right and her eyes were all blue and sparkly and I just began to feel overwhelmed by how amazing and special she was to me.

All the things I felt about her were running through my mind, and I thought:

I should tell her these things.

But when I tried to form the words in my mind they just sounded cheesy and contrived. Who just comes out and says, "You know, I think you're really special"?

I have never, ever thought of myself as someone who couldn't express feelings. In fact, I've always thought that sometimes I share a little too much information. But sitting there, in front of my precious 8-year-old daughter, it became painfully clear to me that it was hard for me to say how I felt. I felt self-conscious.

Yes, in front of an 8-year-old.

Fortunately, that wonderful influence of the Holy Ghost (that I think sometimes moms get an extra portion of) began to work on me. God said, She's 8. She doesn't know it sounds cheesy and contrived. These are things she needs to hear. If you don't tell her now, how will she know how you feel?

I fought it. It felt icky.

It feels icky? For real? That's your excuse for not giving your daughter one of the most precious and valuable gifts she could ever receive, the gift of knowing her mother loves and respects her? It feels ICKY? Do you REMEMBER childbirth?

Point taken.

So I did. I told her how special I think she is. I told her that I trust her more than the other kids with things, she has a sense of maturity about her that I respect, that she has a way with younger kids. We talked about her little sister and I confided in her that I didn't treat my little sister very well and I grew up feeling terribly about it and I don't want her to feel that way. I told her that she's a good person, a kind person. Her sister loves her and looks up to her, and so do I.

And when I said it, it didn't sound cheesy or contrived. And her eyes sparkled even more, she sat a little taller, she held her chin higher.

The moral of the story is this: Don't wait to say the things in your heart because you're afraid of how you might sound. How you sound isn't important. The words you say and the feeling behind them is what they'll hear. If you open your heart, they'll open theirs.

If you can't trust yourself with your own feelings, how can your child trust you with theirs?

As John Mayer sang,

Have no fear for giving in

Have no fear for giving over

You'd better know that in the end

Its better to say too much

Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking

And your faith is broken

Even as the eyes are closing

Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say. 

Say what you need to say. 

P.S. Happy St. Patty’s Day to you! 

Saturday So What: A Writer and her MAN-uscript

post by Betsy Schow
www.betsyschow.com

I often hear it said that a WIP is like nurturing and having a baby. Recently, a single friend of mine was talking about the trials and tribulations she was having with her boyfriend. Though I'm married, I could completely relate because of my current relationship -- my manuscript.

Here's the DTR (define the relationship) breakdown for you.

FIRST SIGHT
Out of nowhere, an idea pops into my head. It is charming, alluring and I find myself chasing it around trying to know more.




THE HONEYMOON PERIOD
After I've decided to commit time and effort to this MAN-uscript, I can't spend enough time on it. Everything we do together is pure gold! When I'm at the grocery store, I find myself thing about it, jotting down little notes. It consumes my every waking thought and I find myself neglecting friends, family, and chores for my writing dates.

THE UGLY TRUTH
Now that I've obsessed about things, the realities start to seep in. Plot holes, character flaws, and vastness of the commitment in front of me. My MAN-uscript is not shaping up to the perfect ideals I had envisioned in my mind. So I try to force it to change, to become what I want, but it resists and we fight. Sometimes I give it the silent treatment for days because I've started to hate it, just a little bit. Replaying those first chapters we had together, they aren't as magical as I remembered them.




WANDERING EYES
The excitement is gone and it's not long before a new hot idea catches my eye. I tell my MAN-uscript that we need to take a break while I explore my options. Even though I have fun playing around with the new, the old tickles along the edges of my brain and I can't get it out of my head. All the possibilities we had, did I just throw them all away?

RECONCILIATION
Now I have decided that I'm not ready to discard all the hard work I put into this relationship and I tentatively dip a toe back in. The huge problems I thought we had don't seem so bad anymore. I see our past with new eyes, deciding to let the MAN-uscript be what it needs to be. I push it to be the best it can, but know and accept that it will never reach perfection. Instead of hating the WIP for what it isn't, I need to work on my own skills so that I can improve.

PDA (public displays of affection)
Now it's time to share my love affair with the world. Some people won't get it, they'll mock or laugh. Outsiders will point out every pimple and line. However, some will connect the story to their own lives and feel something. It's always scary to be judged on the things that come directly from my heart, but in the end, I know the only thing that matters is the love and growth I shared with my MAN-uscript.