According to my english literature textbook, an epiphany is "some moment of insight, discovery, or revelation by which a character's life, or view of life is greatly altered". Today is my birthday, and I was thinking about where I was in my life last year. I hadn't finished any of the many stories I'd started in the five years before that. I was feeling quite sorry for myself and thinking that I would never consider myself a writer. Then, the day after my birthday, I had an epiphany. It was the day I realized I could "change my story" (as my niece, Bella, would say.) Here's the post from my blog last year. I'm also adding a picture of my youngest daughter who helped bring about my epiphany.
March 29, 2008
My birthday was on Thursday. So yesterday, I found myself contemplating all the things I haven't accomplished in my 29+ years (29+ just sounds better than 30+). I guess I was kind of hosting my own pity party, thinking of all the goals that have gone unaccomplished. When Kassi walked up to me and asked, "What makes me special?" I thought it was a strange question for a 4 year old, but then realized she probably heard it on the show she had been watching. I looked at her blonde frizzy curls and her big brown eyes and wondered how I could possibly tell her how special she is to me in words she would understand. How do you tell a 4 yr old, that your heart has a different beat for each of your children? How do you tell her about how full she makes your heart, or how seeing her smile seems to light up your world? So I settled for saying, "You're special because I love you, and because you love me, and you're smart and nice, and you give the best hugs!" After which I was rewarded with a big hug and a kiss. Suddenly I couldn't resist asking her, "Kassi, what makes Mommy special?" She looked up at me with a glint in her eyes, excited for the opportunity to voice her opinion. "You play with me!" She said simply. And with that simple statement, life was right again. I may not have a prostegious job, or any published books with my name on them, or any awards, or a college diploma on my wall. But what I have is much greater. I have a wonderful husband, 4 beautiful children, and lots of family and friends that love me. Even better than that, I have a God who is my loving Heavenly Father. Whose heart has a different beat for each of us. Who is smart enough to know that when we ask ourselves, "What makes me special?" he can send a 4 year old to our side to answer that question.