According to my english literature textbook, an epiphany is "some moment of insight, discovery, or revelation by which a character's life, or view of life is greatly altered". Today is my birthday, and I was thinking about where I was in my life last year. I hadn't finished any of the many stories I'd started in the five years before that. I was feeling quite sorry for myself and thinking that I would never consider myself a writer. Then, the day after my birthday, I had an epiphany. It was the day I realized I could "change my story" (as my niece, Bella, would say.) Here's the post from my blog last year. I'm also adding a picture of my youngest daughter who helped bring about my epiphany.
March 29, 2008
My birthday was on Thursday. So yesterday, I found myself contemplating all the things I haven't accomplished in my 29+ years (29+ just sounds better than 30+). I guess I was kind of hosting my own pity party, thinking of all the goals that have gone unaccomplished. When Kassi walked up to me and asked, "What makes me special?" I thought it was a strange question for a 4 year old, but then realized she probably heard it on the show she had been watching. I looked at her blonde frizzy curls and her big brown eyes and wondered how I could possibly tell her how special she is to me in words she would understand. How do you tell a 4 yr old, that your heart has a different beat for each of your children? How do you tell her about how full she makes your heart, or how seeing her smile seems to light up your world? So I settled for saying, "You're special because I love you, and because you love me, and you're smart and nice, and you give the best hugs!" After which I was rewarded with a big hug and a kiss. Suddenly I couldn't resist asking her, "Kassi, what makes Mommy special?" She looked up at me with a glint in her eyes, excited for the opportunity to voice her opinion. "You play with me!" She said simply. And with that simple statement, life was right again. I may not have a prostegious job, or any published books with my name on them, or any awards, or a college diploma on my wall. But what I have is much greater. I have a wonderful husband, 4 beautiful children, and lots of family and friends that love me. Even better than that, I have a God who is my loving Heavenly Father. Whose heart has a different beat for each of us. Who is smart enough to know that when we ask ourselves, "What makes me special?" he can send a 4 year old to our side to answer that question.
What make you special is that you have acheived what others only dared to dream. You have actually started a book! How many people do you know that are constantly saying that they want to write a book and never do? You are living others dreams and doing it. You are a "do-er" and that is very special...no that's not good enough of a word...that is AWESOME, AMAZING, LIFE CHANGING and BRAVE! YOU are a "DO-ER" and that makes you AWESOME!!! Happy Birthday! Make it a good one! Be you!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe "DO-ER"!!!
I think we all ask ourselves these questions sometimes, and I have to say that your answer is perfect. What you have are the things that really matter. I often think how lucky I am to have everything I could ever want and on top of it all I get to pursue development of a talent that brings added joy to my life. And, as mary said, You finished a book!!! That is an amazing achievement! Happy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteP.S. How could you not feel happy looking into that little face. Your daughter is adorable!
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing post. I'm going to go back and re-read it. "You play with me." I mean, that is what they are going to remember most.
ReplyDeleteOh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Nikki!!! And thanks for the awesome reminder that life is about more than the stories we're writing, but the stories we're creating. What kind of MC are we in our own life stories? I love it! Thanks.
ReplyDeleteMary-Where were you a year ago!! I could have definately used that pep talk! LOL!
ReplyDeleteCandi-I do feel good about all my accomplishments now. I think I just had to realize I was thankful for what I had before I could move on.
Jessi-It's so true. Being the mom is the important thing. But not only that, I could picture my heavenly father putting me in his lap and trying to find the words to tell me how much I meant to him. It was a truly inspiring moment for me.
Kasie-Our own stories really are the most important ones. I didn't realize it till this morning when I reread that post, that all the things I was feeling lacking in, I have almost accomplished this year. I am working towards having a book published, I will have my two year degree by the end of May, and I will have a job by next school year. My epiphany changed my story in just one short year.
EVERYONE-Thanks for the birthday wishes!
Happy Birthday! And I love this post! It's so awesome! You have doen so much this year, I've been just amazed at how much you've achieved, it's AWESOME! And no rolling your eyes missy! I mean it!!! I could've never gone to weekly school like you, with your calling and did all you did this year! You're an inspiration! Jenni
ReplyDeleteThanks Jenni! I couldn't have done it all without you either. You helped me to see that it was possible to accomplish my goals. Thanks for being such a great friend.
ReplyDelete