I recently read a magazine article that related reading romance novels to porn. A concerned reader wrote in asking if she was getting a distorted view of men since the men in romance novels generally represent the "perfect" or ideal man, and her husband didn't fit the profile, as he has flaws.
The magazine editor responded that, wouldn't it be considered porn if your husband's reading material consisted of women who were flawlessly gorgeous, emotionally stable, and always wealthy?
As readers/writers of romance, what are your thoughts?
Do you believe romance novels cause you to place unrealistic demands on your husband and set you up for disappointment?
Ha ha! That's awesome! My hubby could have been the author...if he was a writer.
ReplyDeletePersonally I think the majority of romance novels out there are just that--porn. You have to be careful what you allow in your mind, and especially careful of what you allow out.
I agree with Crystal. There is a lot of smutty romances out there, but then the rest of what we read falls onto us. A man can make a JC Pennys Magazine into porn. With us there is a level of intent for what we read, and how much we choose to dwell on those parts of the story. If you are comparing your hubby and feeling frustrated with what he does/doesn't do compared to a fiction character you may need to recheck your thoughts. If it intensifies your level of commitment to your husband and your marriage and you see the good in him. Don't worry. Again, as the reader we are in control of how we see things, and how we adapt them to our lives.
ReplyDeleteI remember my mom telling me bitterly that after the movie "Sleeping Beauty" came out when she was sixteen, she thought a dashing prince would sweep her off her feet, slay dragons, break spells, and then dance her off into the clouds. Real life turned out to be much more disappointing.
ReplyDeleteWhen I watched "Sleeping Beauty" as a teenager, on the other hand, I could not believe it when that silly girl cried her eyes out over a guy she met an hour ago. I could see it was shallow, maybe because my mom had prepped me.
I think if we ground ourselves in the truth, we can smell a lie when it comes under our noses. But if we immerse ourselves in lies, we lose the ability to detect them. This is one reason I like to read my scriptures every day. It gives me an anchor in truth.
As far as where I draw the line, I don't like to watch or read or listen to any entertainment that brings up feelings of arousal. I just don't like it.
For me the key is Christian Fiction. If you write romance or comedy as long as your audience is Christian I feel more at ease.
ReplyDeleteMainstream fiction is different, and relates largely to sexually explicit material. Reader beware.
I believe in keeping things clean enough for my 13 year old daughter to read. Or I imagine my bishop reading it.
ReplyDelete;)
Frankly, I would compare myself to the heroine, and find myself lacking. It's okay to escape, but to immerse oneself into it to the point that you think nothing else will do, that is the problem. But then I've been doing that with books since I could read, lol.
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