Through His Eyes

First, let me say that I had a GREAT time sprinting with Betsy last week! Check out the comments section on that post here and you can see how we did. I felt pretty good about what I accomplished and I’m thinking we should do it again next week- anybody game?

This week I felt the need to write about something that has been on my mind lately. Betsy’s “Working Rant” from the other day ties right into my thoughts. I feel like lately I’ve been witnessing a lot of misunderstandings. Some mine, some others. I think we have a tendency to look around us and assume things about people- both good things and bad things- without considering that we don’t have all the facts. 

For example, I have several single female friends. They are wonderful people, and they face challenges that I do not. Sometimes, however, I think they look at me with my husband and kids and think that I have it made. That my life is smooth sailing. Now don’t get me wrong- I am blessed. I mean, really, really blessed. But does that mean my life is perfect? No. My husband works a lot- there are many nights that the first time I see my husband all day is when he comes in and tells me goodnight when I’m already mostly asleep. My kids can drive me crazy, I feel the demands from all angles- my family responsibilities, my church responsibilities, my desire to write and improve my talents. There are times when I envy those women- they don’t have to always check with someone else before they make decisions about their homes or their kids or their finances. In the evenings once the kids are in bed (if they have kids) they don’t have anyone else waiting for their attention- they can watch whatever show or movie they want to watch, or read, or write, or take a bubble bath and no one will mind.

Plus, marriage can be hard. It takes work. When you make those promises, your concerns suddenly double. Their worries become your worries, their heartaches and challenges your heartaches and challenges; their goals your goals. You are living with another person whose mood and happiness (or lack thereof) can affect your entire life in a big way. They’re not a child- you can’t teach them and shape them and raise them. What you see is what you get, and the only person you can change is yourself. 

But.

Their joys also become your joys. And even more importantly, your joys become their joys and your challenges and goals become their challenges and goals. I remember when I went to Girls’ Camp once a few years back and I naively thought I wouldn’t miss my husband that much. I was surprised by how stressful it was to not have a Person. You know, your Person. The one you talk to just to decompress, the one you know loves you even with all your ugly parts. The one who gives you a hug and says it will be okay. It would be very difficult to have to get by day to day without that Person. Plus, he mows the lawn. That’s super helpful too. ;-)

It’s just not fair for us to compare situations, because both have their own challenges and struggles and high points and low points. 

This is just one example- Betsy brought up writers and non-writers. There are also the battles between stay-at-home moms and working moms. The ones between young people and older people, men and women, people with kids and childless couples- the fact is that we are all different, and we all face different challenges, and yet we all feel that need to judge one another. Remember that saying about how if we all threw our troubles into a pile and saw what everyone else had, we’d reach in and grab ours back out? I think that’s true.

What I believe is this: it is not our job to judge or assume. It is our job only to love. And you love people and appreciate people not because of the challenges they face, or  how well they deal with them, or because their lot is harder than yours. You love them because they are a child of God, and He loves them.

When I was in the Young Women program, I used to do “value experiences”- goals I achieved to complete my “Personal Progress.” One week I chose to complete an experience that said, “For one week try to see people as your Father in Heaven sees them.” I liked it because it seemed easy enough, so I tried it.

It changed my life.

Suddenly, it was like I was seeing the world through a different lens. I’d like to think I’d always been fairly compassionate, but it was nothing like this. There were people who had always annoyed me whom I began to truly love. People who I had always thought were stuck up/rude/self-centered- when I began to see them through the eyes of my Heavenly Father, I felt nothing but love. If they acted in ways that were obnoxious, or said things that were hurtful, I just thought, “This person is struggling and they just don’t know how to handle it. I wish I could help them more. They are so beautiful inside and they just don’t know it. They don’t know how special they are.” Quite simply, it changed my whole perspective.

Since then, I have tried very hard not to judge. I am not perfect. Let me say that again: I AM NOT PERFECT! (Shocker, right?) I still make snap judgements. I still think others have it easier, or are lazier, or just don’t “get it.” It’s hard to remember to love sometimes.

I also believe that there are people out there who are simply not good for my well-being, so I avoid them. But I try to remember that they are children of God too, and rather than spend time and energy ranting about them (either out loud, in writing, or in my head) I accept that they have some challenges going on right now that don’t really have anything to do with me, and I love them from afar and hope that maybe someday we can better understand one another.

Who was it that once said, “Love one another”? 

Oh, right. That was the Savior. (He’s pretty smart.)

So for this week, I extend an invitation to you. Judge not. Love. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Their battle may not be the same as your battle, but they may not have the kind of strength you have. The snake may seem weak and lazy to the bird, but the snake has no wings. (That’s not a quote- that’s all me. But it’s good, right?) Meet people where they are. For one week, try to see people as your Father in Heaven sees them. Let Him open your eyes to your brothers and sisters, and prepare to be amazed.

;-)