Truth and Light

By Nikki Wilson

For the past few months, I've been rethinking my decision to be a writer. I have four kids (three of them teenagers in Jr. high and high school sports and other activites), work 6 hrs a day, and have so many responsibilities I sometimes think that maybe this just isn't my time to be writer. I went to the temple a couple weekends ago with my husband and while I was there, I let my Heavenly Father know that I wanted to do whatever He wanted me to do. If that was to quit writing and focus more on my family and other responsibilities, I was ok with that. I understand that everything has a time and a purpose. I left the temple feeling good, but still not knowing if I should quit writing.

Last weekend I went to the ANWA Writer's Conference in Mesa, AZ.   It is truly an amazing conference that I love to attend. I was able to attend a class by Chris Schoebinger, editor at Shadow Mountain Publishing (a division of Deseret Publishing). His class about "The 5 Things You Should Know Before Submitting to a Publisher" was amazing. But the part that touched me the most was at the end when he said that he felt impressed to say something he hadn't said in his previous class. He talked about how as people of faith we have a responsibility to write. We were given this talent of writing for a reason. Because our faith is a part of who we are, whatever we write, truth and light will shine through. The people of the world need this truth and light and we can be the instrument to bring it to them. Tears streamed down my face as he spoke and I knew this was my answer. I still didn't feel equal to the task. After all, there are so many better writers out there. (Yes, I was being self deprecating) After Chris' class it was lunch time and time for the BOB (Beginning of Book) Contest awards. This year I actually took my own advice and got brave enough to enter the contest. (I prefer to put them on and judge them instead!) I entered the first 500 words of my non-fiction inspirational book "If I am a Temple, Why Do I Feel Like a Condemned Building?'" and my Young Adult fantasy book "The Knight of Dreams". I wasn't really expecting to win anything to be honest. But when my non-fiction won second place in that category I was ecstatic and very grateful! I was feeling truly blessed at that moment, I didn't think it was possible to feel any better. Then after they announced all the winners in each category they announced the grand prize winner. This is for the entry that received the most points out of all the entries. I was in complete shock when they called, "Nikki Wilson for 'The Knight of Dreams'!" I truly couldn't believe it. I had convinced myself that I wasn't good enough to win contests or even get published. But here again was another message from my Father in Heaven that I matter. My words matter. With His help (and a really awesome critique group) I truly can write words that will shine with truth and light. I feel humbled by these experiences and the knowledge (I get repeatedly) that God loves me and wants to make me into the best person I can be.

(To read my winning entries go to my blog.)

Saved By The Bell

Saved by the bell...what does that phrase really mean?

I saw a post not long ago on Facebook, entitled "Life in the 1500's", that talks about the origin of several (now) cliche phrases and traditions, such as the bridal bouquet, or it's raining cats and dogs.  I found the post interesting, and at moments, subtly amusing.  I even read parts to my husband.  A lot of the information seemed solid and reasonable, and I took it as truth at first glance (even though there were some parts that begged me to question their plausibility).

I read Anna's great post earlier this month, entitled Errors In Translation, and it got me to thinking more about the topic of research.

I decided to research more about the origin of different phrases, and I found the following article that totally debunks the info I had read, in such a humorous way that I can't believe I ever took a single part of it at it's word.

Life In The 1500's - Folk Etymologies

I guess it just goes to show how important research truly is.  Because if you don't have reliable and credible sources, and you don't do the proper research, you'll just end up looking foolish or fraudulent. And no bell is going to save you from that.

Oh, and I guess I've learned I can't believe everything I read on the Internet....right?

Selling with Due Humility

Following on from Amber's superb post yesterday, I have to admit that I hate marketing, and I'm rubbish at it. In fact, one of the main reasons I prefer traditional  publishing to self-publishing is that all most some of the marketing is done for you. At the very least the book does end up on bookshelves where the fabulous professionally-designed cover make it stand out and persuades people to buy it without me having to do anything.

I think it may be down to my British reserve. Over here it's really not de rigueur to boast, sell yourself or big yourself up in any way. (It's most evident when watching programmes like The Biggest Loser or America's Next Top Model. In the US version the contestants always say "I'm the greatest, I'm going to win!" and in the British version they are more likely to say "It's really tough competition, I'm not sure I've got a shot at all.") We're a self-effacing bunch and tend to come over all embarrassed and tongue-tied whenever we do anything that's actually quite good. So it goes completely against the grain to say "I'm a great writer and my book is amazing, buy it!"

In fact I have a seriously hard time trying to persuade people to buy my books. The best I can manage is "It's not everyone's cup of tea but you might like it," and then apologising for the price. It doesn't help that I'm really embarrassed at the idea of anyone actually reading my books, and well aware that there are some pretty fabulous books out there which are much, much better than anything I could ever hope to produce.

Little wonder, then, that British authors (well, me) don't do well submitting to American agents and publishers. You don't get far when your query letter says "I've written this book, I'm not all that good at writing but I hope you'll think it's OK enough to represent/publish." My standard query letter was generally just factual about the book (hook, plot, target audience) and me (moderately successful author of twee middle-aged fiction for a niche market).

I don't know what changed, but earlier this month while preparing a fifty-eighth submission for my YA/Crossover sci-fi novel I decided that, actually, I really believed in this book. I even liked it. I might go so far, in my query letter, as to suggest that it was good. I threw all my natural humility to the winds and wrote to the biggest publisher in the world telling them that I was a great writer and this was the best thing I had ever written (oh, the shame!) and I really thought they should take a look at it. I sent it off with the required 1,500 word sample, and prepared for my fifty-eighth rejection.

The punchline: they replied to ask me for the full manuscript. Random House liked my "partial" (writer speak) enough to ask for the "full". 

So maybe, just maybe, it's worth forgetting humility once in a while.and, if you read your own book and enjoy it, admitting that it might just be pretty darn OK. In the end, though, whether I think it's any good or not makes no difference whatsoever. It's what Random House think of it that matters.

Talking Tuesday: An Author's Work is Never Done

I confess; I did not get my degree in creative writing. I did not get my degree in English either.  I did not go through college pursuing my desire to write.  My years in college were spent learning about marketing and advertising. 

After college, life took me down roads that led me back to my love of creative writing.  At first, I was very disappointed that I had wasted used my college years studying marketing instead of the art of crafting stories.  There are still moments that I regret the opportunities I missed to take courses from writers I admire.  However, I have realized that my education holds more worth than I originally allowed.

Marketing does not always come naturally for many of the creative types.  Marketing plans, query letters, and pitches can be scarier than a bed full of snakes.  It is comfortable to focus their thoughts and energy on creative.  But a little knowledge of marketing can go a long way when it comes to getting your work out there.

Technology has come a long way.  The publishing industry is changing. Still, I am yet to hear of a book that jumps off the shelf and sells itself.  It isn't enough to write an amazing book.  To get your book in the hands of the readers takes work.  Whatever publishing path you choose will require work.

You have to be able to turn your book as well as yourself into a "product" you can promote.  You have to have a brand of your own.  You are unique, your book is unique.  It is your job to tell others why they should care.   Truth: not everyone will care.  Rejection is part of the process.  However, through hard work you will find the right audience.  Then you will need to build that audience. 

Do you have marketing questions or topics you would like to see discussed on Mormon Mommy Writers?  

Email us at mormonmommywriters@gmail.com

A Recipe For Success

     Living the Gospel is like learning how to cook a professional 5 star meal.  We are given a list of ingredients and exact instructions on how to cook a specific meal. This meal is perfectly balanced for our health and well being. We are instructed to prepare this meal to the best of our ability every day. At the end of the day, we are able to eat and enjoy the meal we have prepared. If we have put forth our best efforts it will be yummy and satisfying, even if it isn't perfect.

      At first, possibly even many years, this may be a struggle for us. Cooking the meal is not easy.  There are complicated techniques and ingredients we might not be familiar with.  But as we practice and work at it, parts of the meal preparation become easier, and the finished product at the end of the day becomes better and more satisfying.

     The catch is, we can only benefit from the meal if we prepare it in the way we have been instructed.  If we try to take shortcuts, substitute ingredients, or skip instructions, we do not gain the nutrients and well being that we need from the meal. Sometimes, we may not have a meal at the end of the day to eat at all. Just like our diets in life, if we fill our plates with unhealthy food, our bodies get sick. It is the same with our spiritual health, if we feed it with unhealthy spiritual foods, we will get sick. We may not think so at first. The spiritual junk food may smell good, it may taste sweet or succulent in the beginning. But over time we realize that there are toxins building in our spirits, taking up residents. These spiritual toxins, like fat cells, are much harder to rid ourselves of than they are to acquire.

     If we prepare the meal that has been given to us, we will get all the nutrients we need to be spiritually healthy, strong, vibrant, and full of life. Whenever we have questions about the meal preparation, we only have need to refer back to the instructions. And a bonus: We have the opportunity, on a daily basis, to inquire of the teacher what He would have us do. All we have to do is ask. 

Saturday do re mi fa So What

I was on a radio show, giving an interview about my book, not too long ago. Off air, the host said she felt she had received a personal revelation about me. In several chapters of my book, Finished being Fat, I talk about how I used to compose music. I went to special camps, auditions, you name it. Not many 13 year olds I knew in West Virginia could compose a 5 movement opus. So I went to BYU, ready to blow them away -- and got trounced. Suddenly my specialness wasn't so special anymore. The little voice in the back of my head got the best of me, and I gave up.  I went from 6 hours a day of music practicing and composing to nearly nothing for 13 years. It was too painful. I had something God given, was meant to do something, but I turned away.

Fast forward back to the radio lady's revelation. She told me she felt I was not done with music and I had things left that the Lord wanted me to do.  I thanked her politely, while in the back of my head saying, "When the devil and Nancy Kerrigan go ice skating."

Apparently I was wrong. The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, has decided that it is time for me to dip my toes back in. Or he wanted to throw me to the lions. Either way, I'm the new Primary Chorister.

So now every Sunday I am expected to confront my two biggest demons -- music and mass quantities of small children.

I need help.

My first two weeks went alright, but I need ideas to entertain, teach, and maintain order. 

So What do you have for me, oh wise and wonderful readers? Don't be shy. 

New Kid on the Block

Hello Mormons, Mommies and Writers!  And anyone else who pops in!

I'm happy to be joining the team here at MMW to share my thoughts twice a month, and I thank this group of talented women for welcoming me into the club.  I'm not Mormon (I'm a very ecumenical Catholic), but I am a mom and a writer, and I love to ruminate about family, writing, and faith. 

I have a good friend who is Mormon, and when she lived close by, we talked about faith often.  Doctrinal differences never mattered.  She attended a Catholic Mass once and said, "It was beautiful.  They didn't give me the biscuit, but that's OK."

I feel the same way.  People of faith don't have to be aligned on every point.  God reaches out to each of us where we are and with whatever "biscuit" facilitates a closer relationship with Him.  That's one reason He's so cool.

I discovered my love for writing in 9th grade when an English assignment required us to rewrite the ending of Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes.  I don't remember what ending I wrote, but I remember being intrigued by the possibilities, the freedom to craft characters and a story line that could take any path.  I do believe, in my ending, Charlie lived.

I've been writing since, some years more productively than others.  I have short stories and a novel I've not looked at in a while.  In 1997, while working for a crisis pregnancy center, I wrote a high school curriculum on character education.  With a team of educators, I taught that curriculum in our public school system for twelve years. 

In 2010, I started a blog - Adventures in the Ballpark.

Blogging is sometimes viewed as silly and self-absorbed, but I'm often both those things, so it works for me.   

I'm married to a very generous Air Force retiree who is now an operations manager for Home Depot.  We have three children, all young adults now, but they will always be my babies in my heart.

I'm currently helping my partially disabled parents (89 and 92) who live close by in an assisted living facility.  I thought I was a pretty capable cookie until my dad's stroke in 2007.  I've since learned I must rely on God's strength and direction every day.  Whatever I think I know about life, it will be challenged tomorrow.  As soon as I learn the new thing, that will be challenged next.   God certainly keeps me on my toes.  And on my knees.

I've lived in Indiana, Maryland, Michigan, Idaho, Italy, Sicily, and Germany.  I currently reside in the Sunshine state, where I can live on fresh salmon, mangoes, and the best oranges in the world.  If I could just get my sweet tooth yanked, Sandra Bullock and I could probably share clothes (hey, a girl can dream.)  

Thanks for reading!  I'll see ya' March 8!

Why I Object to Swearing

"Profanity is the attempt of a feeble mind to express itself forcefully."

I love words. I'm pretentious enough to enjoy calling myself a wordsmith. I like the way a collection of carefully chosen words, when printed, can move people to tears, or anger, or change lives. There are some very beautiful words in the English language which convey meaning both with their sound and their associations: effervescent, tributary, elegant.

But there are also some very ugly words used to shock and offend, to convey the meanness or toughness of the speaker, or to be controversial. Most of them have four letters, and I can smugly say that I know that I have never uttered most of them.*

I have a policy of removing from my friends list anyone who swears on Facebook. I am personally offended by swearing, and I don't need to be brought down by switching on my computer to catch up with news of friends and family, and being confronted with vulgarity. There are several reasons why I object to swearing:

1. It is intended to shock and offend.
Anyone using these words must, therefore, be someone who is insensitive to the feelings of those around them, or doesn't care about the effect their words have on others. I prefer not to be friends with such people. Their language says a lot about them, and I do judge them by it.

2. It is poor use of language.
The words used generally refer to sexual behaviour, private parts or faeces. In most cases, these are not relevant to what is being said. I accept that maybe these words do have a context in which it is acceptable for them to be used–when describing the behaviour or things they relate to (although I personally would choose alternative words)–but this is not generally everyday conversation. Using words such as the F-word, or the S-word to describe the weather, or a sports match, is using them seriously out of the correct context.

3. It is less effective than using more appropriate words.
Swearing does not add to our understanding of what is being said. When describing, for example, poor service and food in a restaurant, saying "the food was *!$~@ and the waitress ~@+$%&!" is far less effective and descriptive than saying "the food was cold and undercooked, and the waitress was lazy and offhand."

4. It's unnecessary.
People have asked me what I say when I need an expletive to express my pain, outrage or otherwise vent my frustration. I have thought about this, and in theory I welcome it as an opportunity to get creative and have my choice of expletive say something about me. I have chosen to use "Belgium" (which was the ultimate in offensive swear words in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy) or "Smeg" (which was the expletive of choice in Red Dwarf) because I am a sci-fi geek. (That's the theory. In the heat of the moment I generally say something very dull, like "Poo" or "Rats".)

5. I want my children to be good people.
I don't want my children to grow up being foul mouthed, common and unpleasant, so I'd really rather they didn't hear these words, or see them on the computer screen. I don't want them thinking it's OK to choose to use offensive and base language when we have the richest language with the biggest vocabulary in the world and so many better words to choose from. So I switch off the television if there is swearing on the programme we are watching, and I have been known to remonstrate with people on the street who use swear words within earshot of my kids. (My kids haven't yet thanked me for doing so, but maybe someday they'll understand.)

Really it is all summed up in the quote given above. Those who swear do so because they lack the intellect to use language correctly, and because they want to appear intimidating and offend those around them. It doesn't uplift or help anyone, and so I choose not to use profane language.*

(*Except entirely accidentally on the phone about a week ago when I tripped over my tongue trying to say something else. Mortified.)

A Time and a Season

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.”

About this time last year I was in the thick of revisions on my poetry book. I had just received my rejection letter from Deseret and I was bound and determined that the next submission would be successful.

My last chance at publication, I decided, was to try Covenant Communications. They were the only other LDS publisher that would be willing to even look at a book of children’s poetry. After discovering this by checking out the submission guidelines on their website, I downloaded their Author Questionnaire.

For those of you who have looked at, and possibly filled out this questionnaire, you might know what a daunting experience it can be. It asks about your published works, any writing workshops/conferences you’ve attended, professional writing training you’ve received, your ability to market and sell your book, etc. As I looked over the questions and my mind searched for anything that could even remotely make me sound like I knew what I was doing, I began to feel smaller and smaller.

Well, after my first few gung-ho weeks of revisions, and with the questionnaire looming in the background, my enthusiasm began to taper off as I got bigger and pregnanter with my 4th child. The summer came, my kids were out of school, and baby was due any day. She came, we celebrated, I basked in the glow of newbornness (are you loving these words I’m making up left and right?) and I left my poetry book (and that questionnaire) tucked away in a virtual drawer.

After the craziness of the holidays had passed and New Years Resolutions began to be made, I decided it was time to open that virtual drawer and see where I was with my manuscript and that crazy questionnaire. But this time when I picked it up I actually had something worthwhile to put down. Like getting published in the Friend magazine. And attending a writing workshop. And writing a script for my stake. And having a short story scheduled for publication in an anthology book in the spring.

As I began deleting out my old, trying-really-hard-to-not-seem-like-a-total-doofus answers and replacing them with actual concrete proof that yes, I may actually be a real writer, I began to feel buoyed up.  I couldn’t help but feel that the last year had been carefully scheduled by the Lord, and that what I’d thought was a hiatus was really just a germination period. My “career” (sorry about the quotation marks, it just feels weird to call it that) was growing and developing around me, sprouting from the seeds I’d sown the year before.

Granted, it’s still just a tiny sprout, no big leaves or flowers or anything, but at least there are signs of life. And I know that as I continue to plant more seeds and wait on the Lord, eventually it will bloom.

Unopened Gifts

   Some days I am really glad that I share in the Sunday slot.  Days like today for instance, because I heard something in church that got me thinking, and I love being able to share.  So instead of typing up the post I had planned on I'm going to share a little of what I gained from church today. 
  I was in Relief Society when the teacher made a comment that started a chain of thoughts going through my head.  I'll confess that I don't actually know what the lesson was on.  I had spent the first part of the class with my daughter who was experiencing some little trials of her own.  When I made it to Relief Society the class was engaged in discussion.  It was this discussion that lead to the comment made by the teacher.  I'm not sure why it struck me the way it did, or why it brought me to a question that started my inner dialog and discussion.  The question I found myself asking was this:

What gifts am I leaving undeveloped?

    I began to think of the talents I have that perhaps I was neglecting to develop.  My attention was again brought to the discussion in the class.  The teacher told a story about Oliver Cowdry and the misconception he had about a gift that was promised him.  He was told he would have the ability to translate ancient records.  However, he felt that because this had been bestowed on him all he needed to do was wait and his ability to translate would spontaneously come to him.  It was then my mind made the connection.  It is not enough to know we have a gift and think on it from time to time, or even exercise it on a whim.  We must study it out in our minds.  Our gifts and talents are no different from our muscles, if we do not use them on a regular basis they become fatigued.  I realized that even if we are given or promised certain gifts or talents we will not automatically be able to use them unless we do our part to ready ourselves for them.  I suppose it's no different than nurturing a little seedling.  We can't just expect it to become a magnificent tree or flower without first giving it the proper care.  It is the same for our talents. 
  Each talent or gift is unique to the person it is given to, so there can't be some magical formula to develop it.  I think it is this way by divine purpose.  It creates an opportunity to communicate with our Father in Heaven and seek His counsel, furthering our relationship with Him. 

   I think it is a very exciting concept to think that there could be endless gifts or talents waiting for me, for all of us, if only we can do our part.  I encourage you all to ponder throughout this week and think of the talents you have been given and find new ways to strengthen them!