By Nikki Wilson
For the past few months, I've been rethinking my decision to be a writer. I have four kids (three of them teenagers in Jr. high and high school sports and other activites), work 6 hrs a day, and have so many responsibilities I sometimes think that maybe this just isn't my time to be writer. I went to the temple a couple weekends ago with my husband and while I was there, I let my Heavenly Father know that I wanted to do whatever He wanted me to do. If that was to quit writing and focus more on my family and other responsibilities, I was ok with that. I understand that everything has a time and a purpose. I left the temple feeling good, but still not knowing if I should quit writing.
Last weekend I went to the ANWA Writer's Conference in Mesa, AZ. It is truly an amazing conference that I love to attend. I was able to attend a class by Chris Schoebinger, editor at Shadow Mountain Publishing (a division of Deseret Publishing). His class about "The 5 Things You Should Know Before Submitting to a Publisher" was amazing. But the part that touched me the most was at the end when he said that he felt impressed to say something he hadn't said in his previous class. He talked about how as people of faith we have a responsibility to write. We were given this talent of writing for a reason. Because our faith is a part of who we are, whatever we write, truth and light will shine through. The people of the world need this truth and light and we can be the instrument to bring it to them. Tears streamed down my face as he spoke and I knew this was my answer. I still didn't feel equal to the task. After all, there are so many better writers out there. (Yes, I was being self deprecating) After Chris' class it was lunch time and time for the BOB (Beginning of Book) Contest awards. This year I actually took my own advice and got brave enough to enter the contest. (I prefer to put them on and judge them instead!) I entered the first 500 words of my non-fiction inspirational book "If I am a Temple, Why Do I Feel Like a Condemned Building?'" and my Young Adult fantasy book "The Knight of Dreams". I wasn't really expecting to win anything to be honest. But when my non-fiction won second place in that category I was ecstatic and very grateful! I was feeling truly blessed at that moment, I didn't think it was possible to feel any better. Then after they announced all the winners in each category they announced the grand prize winner. This is for the entry that received the most points out of all the entries. I was in complete shock when they called, "Nikki Wilson for 'The Knight of Dreams'!" I truly couldn't believe it. I had convinced myself that I wasn't good enough to win contests or even get published. But here again was another message from my Father in Heaven that I matter. My words matter. With His help (and a really awesome critique group) I truly can write words that will shine with truth and light. I feel humbled by these experiences and the knowledge (I get repeatedly) that God loves me and wants to make me into the best person I can be.
(To read my winning entries go to my blog.)
Nikki, that is amazing! Talk about Tender Mercies! I'm really glad you shared this with us.
ReplyDeleteThat is wonderful! Congratulations on your winners! :)
ReplyDeleteI get down on myself a lot as well, and this was a good reminder. I sometimes feel like the Lord won't help me with certain projects because they're fantasy fiction with no overtly religious context whatsoever - but I like this point, that whatever we write will emanate with who we are and the truth we know, and we may have the opportunity to say something meaningful and touch people in ways we can't possibly know.
Very sweet. I've felt the same way....what am i doing with writing? It's easy to get lost in self-doubt. I love that your speaker said people of faith need to write. We do have a perspective that the world needs to hear. Very encouraging. Thank you for this message. I'm working on something myself that I keep putting on the back burner, but I need to buckle down!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this. Some of these questions have been passing through my mind as well. It sounds like the adversary really wants to keep us Mormon Mommy writers from writing our guts out! Thank you for the encouragement and sisterhood.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this moving blog post. Conference truely was an amazing experience.
ReplyDeleteNikki, I'm in an almost identical situation. I work five hours a day, have three children (one in college, one in senior school and one in junior school) and I teach Seminary, so I sometimes feel I just can't give my writing the time it needs if I want to do it properly. Today I was feeling especially discouraged and struggling to cope with all my responsibilities. Then the missionaries came for dinner and reminded me that Jesus died not just for our sins but for our frustrations, low moments and struggles too. I can just turn it all over to Him and let Him deal with it. So now I'm reminded that writing is what God wants me to do, so I can leave it to Him to help me find the time, energy and enthusiasm.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the wins! That is fabulous. And thanks for the reminder that we have an important work to do as writers. I struggle with the juggling of responsibilities and writing too. It's good to hear some encouragement from someone other than my awesome hubby. :)
ReplyDeleteIsn’t it wonderful when the Lord gives you unmistakable evidence that yes, He IS there, and yes, He DOES know what’s going on with you and yes, He DOES care enough about you to make absolutely sure you get His message loud and clear! Good for you for walking with faith even when you weren’t quite sure where you were going. You are an inspiration. :-)
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