Saturday, March 14, 2009

Am I a Terrible Mother?

So we were all sitting around the dinner table the other night, eating and talking. We were talking about the games my daughter likes to play and the things she likes to do. My daughter, ever the ham, was like, "And this is what Mommy likes to do."

*Note: This picture was staged later, but it is an exact replica of what she looked like as she pantomimed me typing on the computer.

We all laughed, of course, but I felt a twinge of guilt. I hope my kids will one day read and appreciate my stories, but at the same time I don't want them to resent the time I spend on the computer (which really, honestly, isn't much when they are awake.)Obviously, my children take priority. But, I strongly believe that it is so important for us moms to have that thing. Whether is be writing, or sewing, or training for a marathon, we need a goal that we work on just for us. I think my writing makes me a happier mom, which in turn makes me a better mom. Hopefully, my daughter will understand that one day.

10 comments:

  1. I have to come to learn as a mom, that guilt is a constant companion! I've learned to make friends with it a long time ago, or go crazy (Wait, maybe I already am!!??). We can use the guilt to evaluate ourselves and our actions, make changes in our activities or just move on, content in knowing that we really are doing all that we can.

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  2. LOL on the picture BTW! Too funny!

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  3. That picture is hilarious!! Sometimes I wonder at my writing habits when Benjamin puts his hands on both sides of my face and says, "Mommy I try to talk to you," and I realize he's been standing next to me for a while trying to get my attention. I make a concerted effort to do specific things with him throughout the day, like walk to the park, read stories and just sit with him while he's eating. I completely agree that every mom has to have her thing. I often think, I wouldn't be feeling guilty if I were sitting and scrap booking for a couple hours a day. At the same time, I try to pay attention to the feelings I have too and if there's anything that I need to change, change it.

    You are definitely not a terrible mom. LOL! I know you have your priorities straight just by talking to you, and I also noticed how clean your floor was in the background of that pictures which is added proof!!

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  4. She is sooo funny!
    LOL! I love the wide-eyed look! It's awesome! I look just like that too! LOL! And no worries, your kids are learning that mom can have fun too. It's the mom's that ONLY devote every ounce of everything to their kids that shatter and run. I agree 100% you have to have ME time to make a happy family! LOL! Great post! Jenni

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  5. I had too many typos in my first comment, so I deleted it, and now I can't remove the above. Bloggrrrrr.

    Anyway, what I was going to say is-Thanks for the post. I struggle with the same feelings of guilt. One of my goals is to try using my computer only while my son sleeps. (He's sitting next to me on the couch right now...oops.) But yes guilt rules our lives as moms. I mean, my son has pink eye, and I'm positive that it is from me spending too much time on the computer.

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  6. P.S. Your daughter is hilarious, and beautiful.

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  7. So funny. My kids constantly feel the need to tell everyone that all I ever do is type on the computer. Which is only half true, btw. LOL Most of them are at school, which makes it easier for me than those of you with only little ones, but even though I try to spend time with them, I do need to make a bigger effort to help them to know it's not the most important thing in my life. Your daughter is adorable, btw.

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  8. I totally just left personalized responses to all of your comments, but blogger just ate it! *shakes fist at computer screen*

    Anyway, in a nutshell, what I said was thanks for all the comments. You guys made me laugh. It's good to know I'm not alone in my guilty complex. :)

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  9. Obviously, all Mom's struggle with this same problem. I am right there with you. I always try to make sure my boys know that they come first. We make compromises here. I play a game with them for an hour with the understanding that after that they will play together while I write for an hour. It works really well and it is something we're always working on.

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  10. I feel the same way!! I am trying better to be more "present" for my kids even though there is nothing better I'd like to do than to write a scene.

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