Finding Faith and a Giveaway

All those who entered Kasey's Awesome Giveaway yesterday do not forget to check the winner's circle tab at the top of the blog to find out if you are the Winner.  You will have 2 days to comment on the winner announcement post or email mormonmommywriters@gmail.com with your information so we can get your prize to you promptly.  If we don't hear back, a new winner will be chosen.  Good Luck!! And keep coming back for more chances to win.

Today's featured giveaway can be found at the end of today's post.

Last Tuesday I promised I would share with you about what has happened during my hiatus from Mormon Mommy Writers. A month or so after my last post in March, I gave birth to our second child, a handsome baby boy. When he was six weeks old my husband and I noticed some unusual bumps on his head, under his chin and arms, and various other places. A doctor within his pediatric office asked me if we had pets and basically told me with the exception of the largest bump on Little Man's head he had bug bites. The large bump she diagnosed to be a subaceous cyst that he may have to have removed later in life. None of those bumps were bites, that much I knew, but having only one bump labeled otherwise I googled subaceous conditions. The results frightened me. My fear kept growing, I needed to know what ailed my baby boy.

Following my mom instinct and the promptings of the Spirit, I made an appointment with a pediatric dermatologist for a second opinion. By the time he was two months old, Little Man was diagnosed with Juvenile Xanthogranuloma. (It is a mouthful isn't it?) The dermatologist told me the disease is very rare, but it will correct itself and not to worry. He would however have to have his eyes checked to make sure he did not have any lesions in his eyes. I was so relieved for about 5 minutes. Then, I did a bad thing... I googled AGAIN.

Juvenile xanthogranuloma, also known as JXG, is a rare, non-Langerhans cell histiocytosis that is usually benign and self-limiting. It occurs most often in the skin of the head, neck, and trunk but can also occur in the arms, legs, feet, and buttocks. JXG can affect the eye, most commonly in young children with multiple skin lesions. Less commonly JXG may involve locations such as the lung, liver, adrenal gland, appendix, bones, bone marrow, pituitary gland, central nervous system, kidney, heart, small and large intestines, and spleen.

I found posts from parents who had lost their children to this disease, and children who lost their eye site. Kids undergoing chemo. I was back to my crying spells. The first weeks after diagnosis were the worst. I scoured the internet for every scrap of information on JXG (and there really isn't much). All I knew was I was not ready to lose this precious boy. Although it appeared that when the disease is left to its own devices it will eventually spontaneously correct itself; it sometimes attacks important organs resulting in treatment is similar to cancer.

Our son had many lesions that were multiplying, and after a chest x-ray and abdominal ultrasound, we discovered he had at least one internal lesion on his spleen. Gratefully, his eyes were clear. There is no set amount of time for the disease to run its course, because each case is unique.

All of the uncertainty really got to me, it still does at times. But Little Man is so strong. He meets all the milestones early. If he didn't have the yellowish cysts you would never know he had any health concerns. Because he hasn't had any complications so far doesn't mean that they will not arise. I have talked to my mom a lot more than usual since his diagnosis. Asking her how anyone can survive the loss of a child. At the beginning, I grieved a loss that had not even occurred. I told her all the reasons fueling the fear that I would lose him. My mother's response to me? "Have faith that the Lord will do what is best."

That did not comfort me. I wanted certainty... I still want certainty. I did and I do have faith that our loving Heavenly Father will care for his children. I am also aware that this does not mean that bad things will not happen, or that we will enjoy the methods our Lord uses to shape us. I repeatedly told my mother that I did have faith. Because even if our little man were to die at a young age, I would still believe in God, I would still love God, and I would still strive to serve God. I would just mourn our temporary separation. I told my mother I needed peace of mind and acceptance.

Whether it has come through prayer or other means, I do have peace. And I have a thriving 8 month old and a witty 5 year old who keep me away from my WIP more than I would wish. But in all honesty, I wouldn't change too much. Every day I have with my little ones is a blessing, and that I will never wish away.

Is having faith the same as having peace?

GIVEAWAY

Michele Ashman Bell has graciously offered to send one lucky reader a copy of "The Perfect Fit" book three in her butterfly box series.

Description: The Butterfly Girls can’t wait to begin their fourteenth annual weekend reunion, a time to renew their bonds of friendship and honor the memory of their high school friend Ava. But a dark cloud of fear soon forms in their shared hotel room when they learn that one of their former classmates has been brutally murdered. And when new evidence suggests Ava was murdered as well, the friends realize one of them might be next.

Andi is glad to be taking the Butterfly Box with her to Hawaii, where she plans to spend a few weeks participating in a reality dating show. To her surprise, the eligible bachelor, Michael Makura, soon singles her out for attention, provoking jealous acts of sabotage from the other contestants. Soon a series of unusual events disrupts the pair’s fledgling romance, and Andi starts over in New York where she begins dating a great guy and accepts a job offer from a generous, eccentric man. But when Michael unexpectedly shows up, all is not well in the Big Apple. And soon Andi comes face -to- face with the man who killed her friend—and he aims to kill her as well.

Entry Rules:
ALL ENTRIES TO WIN "THE PERFECT FIT" MUST BE MADE BY 11:59PM PST TONIGHT January 3rd 2011

1. You can leave a comment about today's blog post.
2.You can earn an entry by being a follower or becoming a follower on MMW's blog/facebook page. Then leaving a comment on this post telling us.
3. You can earn an entry by advertising MMW's Blog Anniverary Giveaway Extravaganza on your blog or facebook page. Then leave a comment below letting us know you have done so.
4. You can earn an entry by following Michele Ashman Bell at any of the following link
www.micheleabell.blogspot.com
5. You can earn an entry by viewing the embedded book trailer and letting us know by commenting below.

Come back throughout all of January for amazing giveaways or view our sidebar to see what is coming.