Monday, September 10, 2012

Because they grow up.

Once again my good friend and photographer (artist) Jennifer Wolfe has captured the most beautiful parts of my life in these stunning photographs. I <3 u, Jenn!

Well, Teeny is now 7 weeks old. And since she is my last baby, the time has gone by way too fast for me already.

As moms who are trying to pursue our dreams, our children can sometimes seem like constant challenges to our success and our sanity. It’s not that we don’t love them, it’s not that we don’t know and believe that our jobs as their mothers will be the most important thing we ever do in this life, it’s just that it’s hard. It’s hard to write 5 words, much less 5,000, when your train of thought gets derailed every ten seconds by a question, a cry, or yet another mess. Sometimes we are so focused on our dreams, which we can’t help but feel are receding farther and farther into the distance with every dirty diaper, that our children just seem downright irritating. We wonder if there will ever come a time when we will get to be someone other than just “Mom."

I came across this post a few weeks ago, and I bookmarked it, so that anytime my kids start driving me bonkers I can read it and remember how unbelievably blessed I am.

This is a tough time, no doubt. But when my Teeny is screaming her head off begging me to hold her (again, doesn’t happen often because the kid seriously has a halo and wings) I try to remind myself that there will come a day when she’s screaming at me in teenage anger and I will be aching to wrap her up in my arms and kiss her soft cheeks and just snuggle the heck out of her. There may come a time when I will be waiting up for her to come home at 2am and I will remember these 2am feedings with wistfulness, longing for the warmth of her tiny body snuggled up to me in my bed as she contentedly nursed and I sleepily stroked her little back.

I try to remind myself of these kinds of things with all of my kids, because as my second-to-youngest just turned 3 last week, I tried to remember what happened to my silly little toddler. Where did this spunky preschooler come from? And when did she outgrow my lap?

This week I challenge you to find the time in the simplest moments to just be present with your kids. Take a moment and really see them, feel them, experience the little person they are right in that moment. Touch their skin, stroke their hair, look into their eyes and listen intently to their little words, because they will change into someone else in an instant. And because there are women out there who would kill for what you have. They ache and long and hope and pray for a little person to tug on their arm and say, “Mommy, I need you.”

So for now I will let my writing dreams fade into the background a bit. Because every day right in front of me is a dream fulfilled, even if it does take the form of spit-up, temper tantrums, and stepping on legos with bare feet (ouch).

Don’t grow up too fast, Teeny. This is a pretty great dream.

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