Moments

My computer moves at a snail's pace. By the time the "New Post" page appears so I can start typing, I've forgotten what I was going to say.

Where was I?

I'm probably not alone in this, but I've found that the less writing I get done the more um, shall we say creative, my dreams get.

Like the hypnosis-zombie apocalypse dream.

Or the I'm-in-a-friend's-wedding-and-hate-my-dress dream.

I've been working a lot. Last week I clocked over 50 hours. This week wasn't as bad, but I still squeezed a double shift in on Tuesday. That's not my favorite thing by a long shot, but you do what you have to do, right?

My writing is suffering and it frustrates me. I had planned to write a book in September. Now I'm looking at the dwindling days left in the month and drastically reshaping my schedule. Right now I hate having an outside job. I hate anything that drags me away from my writing. And, most of all, I hate being so tired all the time that even when I am home I have no energy or my back hurts too much to sit in the chair.

And even those start to feel like excuses after a while. Even when the pain is so bad I can't even stand up straight.

Can I express how much I'm looking forward to General Conference? Probably not. I've missed a few Sundays of church because of work, and I really don't want to miss that weekend. I need the recharge. I need that overwhelming infusion of the spirit.

My husband just took a job that will mean a significant pay cut, even though it's closer to home and he'll be spending much less in gas commuting to and from work. So it really doesn't look like I'm going to be able to quit my job any time soon.

I keep telling myself that if writing is so important to me, I will FIND the time to get my projects done. I will MAKE the time.

Right now I'm just struggling to make time to get dressed and go to the grocery store before work. :/