By Beckie Carlson
Do you ever get on of those nagging thoughts that just won't go away? Maybe it's a problem you can't figure out. Or maybe its worrying about someone you care about. Maybe it's wondering how you got to this strange life you live. It plagues you at night...interrupting dreams of River Dance with Brandon Fraser, or reruns of New Girl. It's annoying.
I've never had that. You all are weird.
Seriously. I have had a tickle of a thought the last few weeks. It's been something that pulls at my heart strings a bit. I don't have an answer (surprise) but I feel the need to ask the question.
As you may or may not know, I have lived all across the Southern United States. Being in Aerospace, we moved around quite a bit. I've met some wonderful people all across this beautiful land. I'm not great at keeping in touch with people, but I do check up with them on FB. Before that....yeah, I sucked. It is neat to be able to peek in on people I used to see at the school or church regularly, without having to pick up the phone and make awkward calls. I hate talking on the phone.
So, lately (three years or so) I've noticed that several of the women I've know from the various states, have gotten divorced and left the church. I look at these women and I see them as I knew them. They were my visiting teaching companions, my kids primary teachers, scout leaders, etc. They were, in my eyes, spiritual giants. I looked up to these women because they knew stuff. They understood it. They would bear their testimonies and I could feel it. I admit, I leaned on them a bit when I was weak. What happened?
I know that several of them had awesome husbands that ended up cheating on them. Sometimes with other awesome women I looked up to. How does it happen? How does a person go from being rock solid in the gospel, to leaving it all behind and living another life?
I look at their beautiful pictures of strapless evening gowns, new weddings, strategic tattoos....and I wonder if they ever wake up in the middle of the night and ask themselves where they are. How did they get to this strange life they are living?
There are a lot of single people out there. They all have their reasons for being where they are. The choices we make are ours. No matter what choice anyone else makes, we are still accountable for ours. I'm not judging anyone here. My heart hurts for these beautiful women. Sure, my husband died, and that was hard. It is still hard. But I couldn't do it without my testimony and the gospel in my life.
Maybe I'm weak? Maybe I need that rock to build on. Maybe, it takes strength to hold on to it.
Cause I said so.
Photo credit: www.shop411.com
I have had similar experiences. It is so hard to see that happen. It makes me want to take fewer things for granted, to rely less on the testimonies of others and more on God.
ReplyDeleteIt does take strength to hold on, especially when others don't. So to you I say, "Rock on!" :)
I have also had similar experiences.... with current world happenings, I've had friends leave the church for various reasons. People whose examples and testimonies greatly influenced my life and helped me to come back to the Gospel, people whose voices I can still hear ringing with truths through my memory. My heart breaks because I can't bring them back. I pray for them, that whatever "thing" it is that they need to break through and grab hold of them and drag them back, won't be ignored or deflected, but will make it to them and do it's job. I love them.
ReplyDeleteSadly, it's happening more and it will keep happening more and more in these "winding up days"--and it's our job to find the rod and hang on tight because the mists are getting thick and dark.
it's always a puzzle to me too, when loved ones leave the church. It seems like you wonder if you ever knew them. maybe their faith was not genuine to begin with? it's good to try to stay in touch anyway. you never know what word from you might bring them back.
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