Two major events happened this year: I turned 40, and I had to get glasses. I have pondered off and on what turning 40 means to me, becuase it hit me harder than any birthday ever has. So here is my list (by no mean complete):
1. Unless I live into my 90s, I'm on the downhill slide of mortality.
2. Getting glasses is just another sign that my body is wearing out. (Luckily the eye doc said I didn't need bifocals...yet.)
3. My childbearing years are drawing to a close. I'm not offically over, but that's just around the corner.
4. I haven't lived up to my full potential. All the dreams of my youth about what and who I would become, what talents I would grow and develop are, for the most part, unrealistic now.
That's all the bad stuff. Here's some of the good things:
1. I'm not the crazy chowderhead I was in my late teens and early twenties.
2. I understand more about life and people.
3. I've grown in maturity that I would never want to have to give up or relive.
4. I love the people in my life even more than I thought possible.
5. I am becoming my mother. (And yes, this is a good thing. She's amazing.)
I don't know what the rest of life holds for me. I hope it has at least a few of my dreams realized before it's over. And I know that means more growth on my part. But maybe it's time to stop looking at the bad list as regrets and turn them into stepping stones.
If you'd like to share, what regrets do you have that you'd like to use as a stepping stone towards growth?
I think we should embrace the fact that we are mature, but not old. 40 is just a hop skip and a jump away for me too, and though I wonder where the time has gone, I am kind of proud of how how well I turned out. ...Not at all the chowderhead I was either!
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I had a moment like that a few years ago on my 33rd birthday. Not sure why, but I was feeling particularly down on myself and all the things I hadn't accomplished. I had a list, much like yours, finish writing a book, get a degree, get published. Funny enough that moment of self pity turned into a moment of self realization. About three months after that I finished writing two first drafts completely through. I had never done that before. I also went back to school and received my Associate's degree(it's a two year degree that took me 16 hrs to complete, but I felt such a sense of accomplishment from it.). Now all that's left is to get published. Even if I only publish a short story in a magazine I will feel like I accomplished something. In my moment of self pity I allowed myself to visualize myself accomplishing those things. What would my life be like if I had done them. From that point on, everything fell into place and before I knew what happened I was on the road to accomplishing my goals. I think moments of self pity and self reflection can change us and make us ready to make the changes we want to make.
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