You've probably heard the saying, "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride." Well today I'm changing that saying to, "Always a writer, never an author." Sometimes this describes how I feel about myself. Not always mind you, not even most of the time, just in those moments when I feel low and frustrated. And even when I do have those thoughts I usually don't allow myself to dwell on them, but today I did dwell on that thought and I'm glad I did, because it turns out just being a writer is pretty cool. But first let me walk you through my thought process (hang on this could be a bumpy ride.)
To go along with the analogy, the bridesmaid watches her friends announce their engagement and then stays by their sides and helps make sure their day is wonderful and fantastic. Over the past six years, I've watched many of my friends announce their success in finding an agent, or editor then get publishing contracts. I have stood on the sidelines cheering them and am honestly ecstatic and deliriously happy for them. I share links to their books on Facebook, and review their books online and I love every minute of it! But there's a voice in the back of my mind that says, when's it going to be my turn? I know it's a very selfish thought, but it was there for a long time. I had to be honest with myself and realize that I haven't really put myself out there to be snatched up mostly because I'm picky. Oh I wasn't picky about my writing in the beginning and got a lot of rejections. I went through the jaded phase, where I just didn't want to go through the agony of rejection again, so I stopped trying. Then it became about polishing my writing until I was happy with it, but I still didn't let many people read what I'd written.
I just started editing my romance book this past week and I'm finally happy with my writing and for the first time in a long time, I'm ready to put myself out there again. I'm ready to query and submit and accept whatever comes. Because the thing I'm realizing is that being a writer is pretty darn wonderful. I get to be friends with amazing authors, I get to grow and learn in my writing, and I get to make up wild and crazy stories and not get in trouble for lying!! I've also learned to appreciate the time I've had to grow in my craft. I feel at peace with who I am and with my writing and I know that the right publishing opportunity will come in the Lord's time and I'm ok with that.
So to go back to the analogy, this bridesmaid isn't bitter she's not a bride, in fact, she's ready to catch the bouquet and see what happens. Life's too short to dwell on what I'm not. I'd much rather dwell on what I am, A WRITER and proud of it!