In my defense, I had a bowl of frosted mini wheats before I ate the brownie(s). So I got my fiber. The brownies, I'm sure were to soothe my nerves. Mini wheats aren't that soothing. I'm not even sure why I have any nerves. It could be this little writing conference I'm going to. But I didn't enter the first chapter contest up at Storymaker's this year. And I didn't sign up for a pitch session. So what is there to be nervous about?
I think this is the excited-nervous phenomenon. You know when you are so excited about something good and yet you feel as nervous as when you have to stand up and speak. And that nervous excitement is what has me and my routine all upside down and doing irresponsible things like having dessert after breakfast.
I do have a point to this post, I promise. No alliteration intended.
I noticed something about my creativity in my practice of writing morning pages. I can be writing freely about any given idea. The words and images come easily, like a flowing river (or on some mornings, a babbling brook) - but the minute I start to think about what I need to do in the upcoming day or days, the writing of ideas and scenes STOP. As if large boulders had been plunked down in my river. No water flow, no creative energy. I might have the only brain that works this way. Maybe you are blessed with a brain that can create and write all while mapping out the grocery list. Me, not so much. So, I've taken measures to protect my morning pages. I might scribble my to do list before I start writing, or promise myself that I can jot things down in the margins, but even that is tricky, taking my mind off new, sprouting ideas can risk losing them. Anyway, preparing to attend the writing conference has inflated my average size to-do list to a ridiculous length. I keep thinking of one more more thing to pack, check on, or take care of before I go. And the longer the to-do list gets, the harder it is to keep it contained. *sigh *
All this to explain me giving in to the leftover family night treats?
Nerves? Blocked creative energy?
Hmm. Sounds more like good ol' fashion lack of self control!!!
Let's just say I'm excited for the conference, completely off my routine & will be lucky to fit into my clothes if I don't back off the brownies!
What did you have for breakfast?