I'm so sorry it took me so long to blog today. I'm usually on top of things. I can only claim that my brain was zapped by illness. I (along with several family members) have been working through a cold system that included an ear infection and two sinus infections (all for different people). It's been a hard week, to be sure.
But that brings me to my point about realities. See, I had this plan for finishing my book. And it would have worked...if I lived in a vacuum with no outside distractions. (Though I may have then had to be locked up in a rubber room somewhere.) But I don't. I'm a Mormon, with callings and callings for my husband, and youth activities, and other opportunities to serve. I'm a Mommy, with five kids who tax every bit of who I am some days, forcing me to find my patience after having lost it all over them. And then finally, I am a writer. I've discovered that I cannot ignore those other aspects of myself to only write, as much as I would like to. If there is something on the "Mormon" or "Mommy" list that needs to get done first, I have to do it or I can't rest or settle into a good place to write. My conscience must be clear. (Some days that includes housework. Some days not.)
And I'd forgotten that. I'd tried to put myself into a mold that I DEFINITELY don't fit into. My writing has to come at my own speed, not forced on me by the outside. Even if I'm the one doing the forcing.
So, that being said, I am not giving up, only trying to take a good hard look at the reality of who I am, in all my aspects, and understanding and forgiving myself for not being perfect at everything.