Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Tuesday Talking:The Focusing Trap

As most people, I occasionally take time to reflect upon the current state of my life.  I take inventory of how far I've come and whether or not it was the right direction.  In such a time of reflection, I realized that I have spent much of my life, even as a small child, waiting for some loosely defined perfect time in my future.  I knew when I reached this point in my life, I would have a life of ease and happiness.  At one time, I knew sixteen would be the perfect age because I would be able to date and drive.  What would there be to bring unhappiness?  But, by sixteen there were so many other worries to focus on that driving and dating were a mere fraction of what I needed to provide me the happiness I searched.  The future of ease has always been just beyond my grasp.

With a figurative magnifying glass, I have looked over the dissected pieces of my life focusing especially on all the imperfections.  I say to myself, "When insert random event (all my kids are in school), I will have time for insert desire which will most certain provide me the ability to be happy (cleaning my house and writing enough stories to fill a mansion.)

Have I had moments of pure joy in my life?  YES.  Am I bless beyond measure?  Without a doubt.  I do realize these things; however, so much effort is spent worrying over things that haven't and my never happen, as well as, waiting for life to fit in a self conceived idea of perfect.

This is anything but the spirit of gratitude we are commanded to have.  Why do we/I race toward the finish line without enjoying the journey?  Life is not a to do list that everything must be checked off before you always yourself to be happy. 

Perhaps a single lady has told herself that when she has a husband, house, and two kids she will be able to enjoy her life. A lot happens in her life to get her to that point.  Enough to fill many great novels.  We don't pick up a book read through its pages only to be able to enjoy it when we are through.  Hopefully, we have laughed, cried, and cheered as we have read. 

I hope you will resolve to enjoy your life while you live.  The time to be happy is now.  If you have not taught yourself to enjoy life as it come and to be grateful, then your "someday" not be a day of happiness.  It fall victim to your habit of dissecting and focusing on the negative.

1 comment:

  1. I used to listen to a favorite talk on CD in which the speaker talked about being happy. He said he asked people at all stages of life if they were happy, starting with teenagers. The answer was always “No, but I’ll be happy when ______. (I get my license/graduate from college/get a job/get married/have kids/kids move out/I retire) It went all the way to a woman who said, “No, but I’ll be happy when someday I can be with my husband again.” The speaker then concluded, “So, when will you really be happy? When you’re dead.”

    I think that “blooming where you’re planted” is a much better idea. :-)



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