Guest Blogger - Jane Still

I'm taking the next couple weeks off to work like crazy on my book so it's ready to pitch to an agent at LDStorymakers Writers Conference. So, I've asked Jane Still to blog in my place. Everyone make sure to visit her blog and leave a comment below, welcoming her to MMW.

Jane Still was born in Dawson Creek, British Columbia. The first two years of her life she lived in a log cabin with a dirt floor and slept in a cardboard box. Her best friends were a dog that was half wolf and a baby deer. They kept her from wandering off into the woods.

She grew up in Cardston, Alberta Canada and attended College in Rexburg, ID. She is married and has six children. Jane writes books for fun and revenge.

Her first book, Mother's Daze, hit the National Market. in March. She is currently working on Mother's Daze 911 and will share a gem of her life from it.

THE POST

EMERGENCY RESPONSE TEAM

When my husband and I applied for our marriage license, we simply walked up to the clerk and paid our money. He handed us a little piece of paper and said. "Next."

That was it. No interrogation, no further screening of any kind. No one asked me if I was an ambulance driver, a paramedic, a pest exterminator, a dog whisperer, a plumber or an emergency responder of any other ilk; nor if I was likely to ever become one.

I do have a college education where I trained in the quintessential art of shorthand. Not once in my entire life has there ever been a need, let alone an urgency, to use that skill. Never have I been faced with an emergency where I said, "Boy is my shorthand coming in handy now."

It wasn't that I went into marriage completely inept. I had skills. I knew how to shave my legs and under my arms, how to apply makeup and the importance of smelling nice.

However, college wasn't a complete waste of time. I did accidentally learn a little about plumbing. One day I walked into the bathroom and noticed a mountain of toilet paper. Naturally, I flushed. The water rose higher and higher. I started to panic. Where the heck was the toilet plunger? I did the only logical thing. l closed the lid. To make sure it was on tight I stood on it.

It didn't work. Water surged out of the toilet, onto the floor and then headed for the bedroom carpet. I had to do something intelligent fast. I screamed. "Help the toilet's flooding.

I heard feet pound as my roommates stampeded down the stairs. What a bunch of morons they turned out to be. Instead of helping me, they collapsed on the floor laughing. Someone finally waded into the bathroom, removed the lid to the tank, jiggled something and stopped the flow.

"Why are you standing on the toilet waving your arms like a wild woman?" they asked.

"Duh, I was trying to keep the water in. Where I come from when you put a lid on something the contents stay inside. This lid is defective."

That was good for another round of hysterics while I stood on the toilet wondering; how were you supposed to know what you didn't know, if you didn't know that you didn't know it?

Find Jane on the web at:

http://www.janeisfeldstill.com/

http://www.janeistill.blogspot.com/

To get your copy of Jane's new book, Mother's Daze, click HERE.


Thanks for being our guest today, Jane. Your story is hysterical. I'm still laughing. It sure makes me want to get to know you better, that's for sure. And I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of your book.