The phone rang in the dark bedroom as I slowly registered what the sound was. "What's that?" my husband asked in a groggy voice. "My cell" I said as I rolled off the side of my bed and barely landed on my feet. Panic set in as I realized it was only 4am and only bad news comes on the phone at that time of night. I saw my sister's name on the caller id and began to worry about her family that lives in New Orleans.
"Hello?" I say a little anxiously. I heard her voice on the other end, "Are you ok?" she asked me. "What?" I answered not sure why she would ask me that, she's the one who called me! "I've been up all night. I had a really strong feeling that you weren't ok. Are you ok?" I groggily tried to process this information and came up with, "yeah, I'm sleeping!" To which she answered, "oh, ok, bye!"
I crawled back into bed and my husband asked, "What's wrong?" "Nothing, it's just Tiff, she wanted to know if we were ok, she had a bad feeling." We laid there for a moment, then I said, "I guess I should check on the kids." "yeah" he replied. "I'm too tired," I said. A second later I hear the bed groan as he got out of bed (I have the best husband ever.) He came back and all the kids were fine. Nothing was wrong. But of course I couldn't go back to sleep. I know my sister must have felt strong promptings from the spirit to call me at 4 am in the morning. So then I wondered if something bad was going to happen. Later I woke up to the alarm and listened for each child's voice as they began to stir. Relief filled me as each child was accounted for. Even the youngest's whiney cry that she didn't want to get up was music to my ears. Everyone was ok.
I called my sister to let her know that everyone was alive and accounted for. We discussed the strong feelings she had and she wondered why she would have this feeling for no reason. I suggested that maybe she just had to remember how much she appreciates her wonderful, older sister. "Nah, that's not it," she replied. But her husband had an interesting theory. He said that sometimes the Holy Ghost tests us to prepare us for when something really happens. To which I replied, "Couldn't we have gotten a head's up first like: This is a test from your Emergency Holy Ghost Broadcasting system, repeat, this is only a test!" Wouldn't that be nice?
I always wonder why we get these promptings sometimes and nothing comes of them, but if we didn't listen to them the outcome could be horrific. So we listen and heed the warnings even when they are tests.
I began to think about how this relates to writing. I depend on inspiration to write. And sometimes I feel so inspired to write a scene only to realize later that I have to cut it. It's heartbreaking because I really believed in those parts. Was it only a test? Is this how the Lord is helping me to develop my talent? Is this what I need to grow? What about a whole book I felt inspired to write, but now I'm unable to continue? Is this just not the right time? The point is that I don't know why we get "test" messages sometimes, but I do know that we must listen to them. They are there to help us grow and to help us recognize the Spirit when it's not a test.
That was beautiful! I never thought about promptings being test runs. I will definitely think about that idea for a long time.
ReplyDeleteAs for feeling inspired to write something then putting then pen down because the inspiration is gone, that happens to me all the time. My main theory is that I (as a writer) am not ready for that story.
Thanks for the post!
I've had similar experiences, both in writing and in life. At some point, I may understand. But I may never know the reasons, and that's frustrating. Like you mentioned, I too wrote a book I felt inspired to write, and it now sits abandoned in a file. My current WIP has so much potential, but I'm struggling to even get started.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to know the meaning of all the feelings we get. That's one reason we have to be very careful how we share those feelings.
ReplyDeleteWe've all read stories where a spiritual prompting saved someone from dying in an accident, but most promptings aren't about that. Most are gentle guidance into paths that will be for our benefit. I'm trying to learn not to panic when I get a spiritual impression, fearing that someone's life might be at stake, but instead to take time to pray to know the meaning of the impression. I can also choose a course of action based on the impression, then pray to know if I've made a good decision.
But I should add that that's the kind of sister I would love to have - one who would call me at four in the morning if she thought I was in trouble. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteAwesome post, Nikki! I've gotten heedings like that in the middle of the night. As far as the writing goes, well, have a pad with a pencil right on my headboard for those inspirations.
ReplyDeleteI've written a dark story, and was inspired to write it--I've even finished it and wonder why the Lord would want me to write such a thing!