I was criticized recently for not broadening my horizons when I read. I was criticized loudly and in front of a room of professionals. I tried to explain to them that I read for pleasure only... and that if the book doesn't uplift me in some way and make me feel better about myself or my family then why would I read it? One lady in particular groaned at this statement and fairly sneered at me. She comment back with a remark similar to, "But there are so many more things to learn in the world, so many more things you need to read about like death and anguish--"
"No I don't need to read about them." I chuckled.
"If you don't, then you're purposely hiding yourself up in a cocoon."
I smiled. "A cocoon I'm very grateful for."
The woman threw herself back and crossed her arms clearly thinking I wasn't worth speaking to.
I said, "Look, I don't need to read about murder and molestation to know that it happens, okay? I don't need to read filth to broaden my horizons. I only have a limited time to read anyway, so I try to surround myself with good things, good books to escape from the world--not to slam me back in it again."
The woman was still clearly not impressed. She had completely sized me up as a fluffy, air headed delusional girl, with way too many kids. "Well, suit yourself. But i prefer to know what is going on around me, I prefer to know all angles so I can form an educated opinion of all sorts of things, not live my life hidden behind some sheltered happiness and blossomed smiles."
In that moment I knew that I had seen more terror and known more trials than this woman could ever comprehend. I stood up. Threw my coat over my shoulder and merely mumbled to the room at large, "My husband has gone to WAR enough times for me to realize what this world is really about. I've faced fear head on, I think I prefer to stay uneducated. Excuse me." And then I walked out of the room. Jaws dropped as I went, particularly hers.
Never, ever judge someone by what they read! LOL! Or how many smiles and how much positive energy they generate. I think that truly positive people are the bravest. They force themselves to laugh in the face of danger. To confront Satan head on and smile. I also feel that they guard themselves from attacks and sneers, because they can purposefully switch those sneers to their advantage.
I think positive happiness is the magic potion that much of the world desires. Many think it's easy or comes more naturally to some. Maybe. Who am I to say otherwise, I'm uneducated, right? LOL! But, I do feel that it takes practice. A whole lot of practice. And something that does not come easily, but something you earn and scrape and claw and fight for to attain once you find yourself down again.
It's a conscious choice, that can become habit with practice, but still a choice nonetheless.
I choose to face this and still be happy.
I choose to face that and succeed even better than anyone around me thought i could.
I choose to face them and not only smile, but to walk away. They will not hurt me. They will not bring me down. I am untouchable.
See? Very brave. And at the same time the most successful of all the groups of people there are. The ones that maintain positivity and believe there is a purpose to what they are doing--succeed. The ones that succumb and listen to the whisperings of Satan, find themselves faltering and desperate to pick themselves back up.
I challenge you all to stay positive. Be brave and realize the Lord is having you do this for a reason. Many are called, but few are chosen. If you stay brave. If you stay positive, if you believe in what you are doing and continue you stay true to His teachings--the Lord will bless you beyond anything you could ever hope for. You will be chosen.
I always take it as particular flattery when i find Satan attacking me and trying to bring me down, making me believe something I've done, or written wasn't worth it. Muhaha! You know why? That signals to me--sets out a massive homing beacon actually--that it IS good. It's so good that the creepy guy himself is scared! And he's trying to derail me from finding what I need to do to catch the attention of others. To make sure it makes it and gets into the mass market where it can help others. Muhahaha! Bring it.
I revised Pride & Popularity no less than 10 times. TEN!!! And now I'm gearing myself up for another round of revisions from a publishing house in a couple of weeks. But you know what? All the times that I cried over P&P only drew me closer to it. I know just as much today as I did when i first started writing it, the Lord asked me to do this. He needs this. I will not let Him down.