I've learned an important lesson in 2009. After I graduated community college with an Associate's Degree I was eager to get a job and contribute to our family financially. I found out about a job answering phone calls at home through my personal computer. It sounded like the perfect job for me! I was so excited and prayed that the Lord would help me get the job. I got the job very quickly and knew that the Lord answered my prayers. Then the job began...it was easy, but very brainless. So brainless that I began to hate it. It was customer service so I began dealing with many unfriendly, rude people and I began to wither inside. I began to dislike people in general, I hated waking up in the morning, and writing??? I couldn't even begin, I was so miserable. I was mean to my family and I cried every night and every morning. I felt terrible because I didn't know if I was being ungrateful to the Lord because so many people were out of work and I had a job. I thought maybe I just had a bad attitude and I would hate any job because I had been spoiled enough to not have to work for so long. It was definately a low point for me. I struggled through the job for 5 months but finally prayerfully decided I needed to quit. I felt peace in that decision. For the past 4 months I've been actively looking for a new job in a school where I feel the schedule will be more condusive to my family. But I changed the way I prayed. I prayed that out of all the positions I applied for, that the Lord would help me get the one that would be best for me, my writing, and my family. At times I felt frustrated that it wasn't happening quickly, but I didn't change my prayers. I had an interview that didn't result in a job and I continued to be faithful thinking that it must not have been the one for me. I recently had another interview that went really well and I really wanted the job, but still my prayers remained the same, not my will but thine be done. I got the job as a reading tutor at a school by my house. BTW, saying that I was a writer really impressed the vice principal. I've been working for 2 weeks and I LOVE my job. The kids are wonderful, the hours leave me time for writing, and they are letting me have days off for LTUE in Feb. I am happy, and even feel inspired to keep my dream of writing alive. The Lord answered my prayers again, but this time I was faithful enough to know that he knows what's best for me.
This week I heard back from a small publishing company that I sent my children's picture book to. They gave me a wonderful evaluation, but said they were still deciding whether or not to offer me a contract. I was very excited, but I remembered my previous lesson and I am praying that I will ONLY get the offer that is best for me and my family and the one that will suit the Lord's purposes. I find I sense of peace in praying this way. I don't feel overanxious, or impatient. I feel empowered knowing that the Lord will answer my prayers in his time and in his way, knowing that his way WILL be best. Jenni is the queen of praying this way and I never understood how she could be so calm about it, until now. Praying in faith that He will answer is different than praying with the faith that He will know what is right for you.