I hesitated sharing this with you, because it is so sacred to me, but then I realized that in doing so, I would be sharing what I've learned and that is a good thing. My hope is that reading this will somehow bring you the same kind of peace it brought me. That perhaps whatever it is you are dealing with in your life, whatever burden brings you sorrow, will be lifted or at least lightened in some way.
I apologize for its length.
Most of you are aware of the journey my writing career has taken lately, with its ups of being published and downs of losing my contract. Among all the little things mingled between the normal disappointments of life, I found myself slipping into depression. For many reasons, this past Thursday was one of the roughest days.
As I lay in bed that night, praying to understand the Lord’s plan for me and begging for direction, I suddenly felt peace. It was as if I were wrapped in a warm embrace, as though I were literally in the arms of the Savior. I rolled to my side and curled into a ball, surrendering to the comfort I knew He was giving me. As I did, I continued to pray, this time not holding back the tears I’d managed to suppress moments before.
As I fell asleep, I could still feel the Savior’s presence as I dreamed, and I knew what I was being shown was something I needed to see, but still didn ’t understand. I was in a room without walls, and now that I think about it, I guess that would mean they went on forever, but honestly, I saw no boundaries. There was nothing, just white, but not the blinding kind, just a soft comfortable lack of darkness.
All around me there were beautiful women, some walking in lines, as if they were moving with purpose, and others gliding around in small groups. None seemed lost or confused. In fact, they all stood straight, facing forward, their heads held high. Each one had a peaceful smile on her face and all were dressed in white, yet their clothes seemed to reflect their personalities. The garments were all modest and made of the purest weave of fabric, flowing with the breeze the women made as they walked.
As I stood there, wondering why I was being shown this, I noticed something else about them. Each one held a small box in her hands about the size of a small loaf of bread. Each box was unique and woven with a natural material like reeds or wicker or a variety of grasses, yet were all the same color, a warm reddish-brown with darker grains within each woven strip. The corners were rounded with no sharp edges. The women held them close to their hearts, as if what was inside was precious to them.
Although I didn’t see Him, I continued to feel the Savior’s spirit around me. Questions about what was inside the boxes escaped my thoughts, but instead of getting answers I was given the impression to look into my own arms. There, held tightly in my hands, was my own box. It was at that moment I woke.
I lay flat on my back, something I never do. I can’t sleep on my back, or so I thought. I closed my eyes, hoping that, with the dream still fresh in my mind, I might be able to fall back to sleep and finally get answers to my questions, but sleep didn ’t come. Instead, the dream continued to unfold in my conscious mind, as though I were asleep. It was then that I notice something strange. None of the boxes had hinges. They didn ’t have clasps or individual pieces that made a lid or a base either. I somehow knew they were hollow, but could see the outside was one solid weave, with no way to be opened—at least not by our own hands.
I didn’t understand, and I wanted so badly to understand. Why would I have this dream if it didn’t answer any of my questions? But then I had a sudden understanding and I knew what was inside each box. They were filled with our gifts and talents, our futures and those things we don’t know yet. The things we brought with us to this life, but that we are not allowed to see. If I were to open my box, seeing what lies before me—my future—the precious box would be destroyed, would crumble in pieces to the ground.
Then I looked up at the women again and realized what I was really seeing. They were all walking upright, with heads held high, their eyes forward. Not for a moment did they waver or deter in any direction. They all knew they had a purpose and trusted that the Lord would guide them. They all had faith, something I was obviously lacking in my life. It was not my place to question what was in my box. It was enough to know that it was unique to me and that it was filled with wonderful, glorious things that were promised to me by my Father in Heaven.
I’m so grateful that I was given such a precious gift, that I was shown something so sacred. I know now that I, too, need to walk as those other women were walking, with faith, not wavering. I need to trust the Lord and know that the wonderful things he has in store for me will come in His time, not mine, and that I need to hold that future close to my heart and protect it and honor it by being obedient.
I hope, in some small way, my sharing this dream has helped you to realize that the Lord loves each one of us and has a plan for us. Just because we can’t see it right now,doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. May the Lord bless each of you with whatever your heart desires. And may all your dreams come true . . . in the Lord's time.